Grief Hurts...

Grief...

We've all experienced it in some way, and we're sure to experience it again.

It's part of the ebb and flow of life. It's not a problem to fix or a stage to rush through. It's something to carry, and tapping can help make it a little lighter to carry.

Our full trauma and grief collection holds more articles like this one.

But sometimes, it seems like too much to handle.

Whether you are experiencing some current grief from a recent loss, or have a past experience that you haven't fully resolved, this audio is sure to change your life.

Jessica had the opportunity to conduct a beautiful, informative, and powerful interview with Carol Look on how to use Tapping to process grief.

It was originally meant to be a Tapping Insiders Club exclusive, but so many people have asked for information on this subject, that we made it available to everyone.

Block out the time to listen to it right away. It's that important.

Here it is:

https://tappingsolution.s3.amazonaws.com/CarolGrieffinal.mp3

Right Click and "Save" Here to Download This Audio

Right Click and "Save" Here to Download PDF Transcript

Grief when it's fresh vs. grief months (or years) later

Grief doesn't move on a schedule, and it doesn't look the same on day three as it does at month eight.

When it's fresh, grief often feels like shock more than sadness: numbness, disbelief, a strange sense of going through the motions. Your body may be flooded with stress hormones even if your mind feels blank. In this phase, gentle, short tapping rounds, just a few minutes, are usually more helpful than trying to process everything at once. You're not trying to "get over" anything yet. You're just trying to get through the day.

Months or years later, grief often shows up differently: it sneaks up around anniversaries, holidays, a song, a smell, a stranger who walks like they did. Some people also find that grief they thought they'd already "dealt with" resurfaces during an unrelated hard season. Tapping works the same way at this stage: you're not tapping to make the loss smaller, you're tapping on the specific wave of feeling that showed up right now.

There's no correct timeline for any of this. If you're still tapping on a loss from years ago, that doesn't mean you're doing grief wrong.

A gentle 3-minute round for grief

This one is meant to be soft. There's no pressure to feel a certain way by the end of it. Notice what's true for you right now, and rate its intensity from 0 to 10 before you begin.

1. Side of the Hand (1st time): "Even though this grief feels like so much right now, I accept myself anyway."
2. Side of the Hand (2nd time): "Even though I miss them, and that's not something I need to fix today, I accept how I feel."
3. Side of the Hand (3rd time): "Even though this loss is part of my life now, I accept myself, exactly as I am, right here."
4. Eyebrow: "This grief."
5. Side of the Eye: "This missing them."
6. Under the Eye: "This heaviness in my chest."
7. Under the Nose: "I don't have to hold it all together right now."
8. Under the Mouth: "It's okay to feel this."
9. Collarbone: "Letting myself breathe, even with this here."
10. Under the Arm: "I can carry this a little more gently."
11. Top of the Head: "Whatever I feel right now is okay."

Take a breath. If tears come, let them; that's often the grief moving, not a sign anything's wrong. Check your number again, and repeat as many times as you need.

Words for the hard moments

Grief isn't one feeling, it's several, often at once. Here are phrases for specific moments people tell us are the hardest:

What our data shows

Grief hasn't been the subject of a dedicated clinical tapping study yet, so we won't overstate the research here. What we can share is app data. Inside The Tapping Solution App, our "Releasing Grief" session has been completed 71,023 times, with users' self-rated intensity dropping from an average of 7.4 to 4.5 (0-10 scale). Our "Grieving the Loss of a Pet Support" session, for the grief that's often dismissed as smaller than it is, has been completed 13,452 times, moving from 7.8 to 5.2. Both sit inside our broader Emotional Freedom category, 58 sessions completed over 4 million times, with an average intensity drop from 7.0 to 4.1.

More broadly, a peer-reviewed study of 270,461 App users, published in JMIR mHealth and uHealth in 2020 by Church and Stapleton, found that a single tapping session brought anxiety down 44% and stress down 45%, on average. That study wasn't grief-specific, but the anxiety and stress that often ride alongside grief respond to the same mechanism.

If you want to try it for yourself, try the Releasing Grief session free. If the loss was a pet, Grieving the Loss of a Pet Support is built specifically for that.

What people say after tapping through grief and sadness

"I was processing deep grief over loss of a loved one and their family through a traumatic separation. Went from a level 9 intensity to a 2 in one session. I have been in trauma therapy for 4 years which has also helped me along my healing journey, but I've not seen such a rapid drop." -Kayla

"I have held this sadness for decades. I feel stuck and in pain. This Tapping with Jessica helps me see it more clearly and hopefully I can release it. I feel blessed to have you in my life." -Mindy, Releasing Sadness, 10 → 4

Go deeper

• Grieving a pet? Our full guide: tapping for the loss of a pet.
• A free tapping meditation to sit with grief: Releasing Grief.
• New to tapping? Start with Tapping 101.
• See every point in the sequence in our 9 tapping points chart.
• Ready-to-use routines: our library of tapping scripts.
• Real stories of tapping through loss: our grief results page.
• If you'd like to work with someone one-on-one, our practitioner directory lists independent EFT practitioners who work online and in person.

Tap along with me

This meditation is meant for exactly the kind of moment grief creates, when everything feels like too much and you just need to come back to calm.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does tapping actually help with grief?

Many people find it does, though tapping doesn't take grief away, and it isn't meant to. What it can do is calm the body's stress response around grief, the racing heart, the tight chest, the flood of tears, so the grief itself has more room to move instead of getting stuck. Inside The Tapping Solution App, our Releasing Sadness session has been completed over 113,000 times, with users' self-rated intensity dropping from an average of 7.5 to 4.5 (0-10 scale).

How do I tap for grief?

Start by naming what you're actually feeling in this moment (the sadness, the anger, the guilt, the numbness) and rate its intensity from 0 to 10. Tap through the standard points, side of the hand, eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, under the mouth, collarbone, under the arm, top of the head, naming that feeling at each one. Then check your number again. There's no wrong way to do this, and no need to rush.

What do you say when tapping for grief?

Whatever is true right now, even if it feels messy. "Even though I miss them so much it hurts, I accept myself anyway." "Even though I'm angry this happened, I accept myself anyway." "Even though I feel guilty for laughing today, I accept myself anyway." Grief rarely follows a script, and the words don't have to be pretty. They just have to be honest.

Is it okay to tap on anger at someone who died?

Yes. Anger, at the person, at the illness, at the accident, at the unfairness of it, is a normal part of grief, not a betrayal of your love for them. Tapping on that anger doesn't erase your love; it just gives the anger somewhere to go besides stuck in your body.

How soon after a loss can I start tapping?

Whenever you're ready, there's no set timeline. Some people start tapping the same week; others wait months or years before they feel ready to sit with a loss. Both are fine. If a loss is very recent and you feel completely overwhelmed, gentle, short rounds (a few minutes at a time) tend to work better than trying to process everything at once.

Is there a free tapping session for grief?

Yes. You can listen to the free audio interview on this page, use the short round above, or try our Releasing Grief session free in The Tapping Solution App.

If grief has become heavier than you can carry alone, if it's affecting your ability to function months or years on, or if it's tangled with depression, trauma, or thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to a grief counselor or therapist. Tapping is a tool you can use alongside that kind of care, not a replacement for it.

Until next time...

Keep Tapping!

Nick