Grief Hurts…

Written by: Nick Ortner

Woman conteplatingGrief…

We’ve all experienced it in some way, and we’re sure to experience it again…

It’s part of the ebb and flow of life.

But sometimes, it seems like too much to handle.

Whether you are experiencing some current grief from a recent loss, or have a past experience that you haven’t fully resolved, this audio is sure to change your life.

Jessica had the opportunity to conduct a beautiful, informative, and powerful interview with Carol Look on how to use Tapping to process grief.

It was originally meant to be a Tapping Insiders Club exclusive, but so many people have asked for information on this subject, that we made it available to everyone.

Block out the time to listen to it right away. It’s that important.

Here it is:

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download This Audio

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download PDF Transcript

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!


How do you feel after listening to this interview and tapping on your grief? Please leave your comments below.

Nick is the CEO and founder of The Tapping Solution

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148 Comments on this post

  1. Bev says:

    Thank you so much for your generosity in allowing everyone to download this amazing presentation. I know that I am losing my Mum and it won’t be long now but somehow I know that this information will get me through. Thank you, it is greatly appreciated. Bless you all.

  2. Joy says:

    Amazingly, 2 days after I listened to Carol’s presentation, a friend came by who was visiting from another state. Her son, who I knew quite well, died last year from a drug overdose, and she was still grieving. She asked me to help her deal with this through EFT, and Carol’s suggestions were spot on. This recording could have been made just for me to help her. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  3. Emily says:

    Great work comming out of the Tapping Solution.
    Keep up the greagt work, I know it is truely appreciated by all.

  4. Susan Myers says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. I look forward to the posting of the transcript also. I have been through many losses that were not grieved at the time and this has been very helpful.

  5. Katelon says:

    Thank you so much for this interview and tapping. You didn’t mention estrangement but I feel it is even worse than death because there is no finality or really explanation when it happens. My son, who had been my best friend and often spoke of what a wonderful woman and Mother I was, starting leaving my life after my Mom died, the last of my birth family. He has left three times now and this last time he has been gone for 3 1/2 years and I have a new grandson I can’t see. He has turned against me and re-written our entire relationship and does not respond to any calls, letters, gifts or emails. I have done much work around this but like you said…grief is a process. I have faced grief over and over and over throughout my life and you are correct in that most people do not deal with grief at all….or really any strong emotions. Thanks for your honesty and for looking at the grief process in a different way.

  6. Ruthanne Stewart says:

    Carol, you are amazing, and I have benefited greatly from your professional advice and walk-through tapping. Bless you and all your efforts.

  7. Nicole M says:

    I just want to say Tapping Insiders Club is a superb way to immerse yourself in the form of energetic clearing, they are also great, Jessica and anyone else involved, look into it!
    Also, grief I would say no matter who you are, this is one we should all just plain tap onjust to make sure, so THANK YOU for this! Many blessings

  8. sarah says:

    Hi, what most struck me in the whole tapping process and actually started me crying was the phrase: I FULLY love and respect myself.
    So often I settle for a quick feeling of sadness, swallow it and go on with my busy life , but then suddenly it hits me in unexpected ways that I am still sad.
    So thank you for this hour, it opens up and tears can be washed away, much Love & Peace to everyone listenig!Sarah from Holland

  9. Stefani Sherwin says:

    Thank you so much for this…it is especially timely, as I have 2 clients dealing with
    protracted grief PLUS a family member waiting and watching his wife die…As an aside, while tapping along, I found some remaining issues surrounding my Dad’s death…17 yrs ago.

  10. Chip says:

    I so appreciate Carol Look’s wonderful and profound comments and feelings about this topic of grief. So helpful ! Thank you.

  11. Janice Gagnon says:

    I was very encouraged by the grief tapping. Our son died at age 12 twenty years ago and his birthday was this month. I had some melancholy feelings and just felt sad. I will think I am over it and then something will set me off again. At the time of his death, I found that many people really didn’t know what to say and sometimes I just wanted to talk. I didn’t need anyone to judge either. I found the tapping just made me feel more relaxed. Thanks, Carol. And thanks Nick and Jess for allowing us to download it. I have already listened to it 3 times and will do so many times more I am sure.

  12. DEDE says:

    That was really informative and helpful Carol. Thank you!

  13. Erika says:

    Thank you for sharing this recording. I am deeply grateful for being so generous.

  14. Eleaquina (Ellie) says:

    Wow! Thank U, thank U, thank U!!! It helping me a lot. Thank U again.

  15. Justin says:

    Dear Nick, Jessica, Carol, and all those who are helping,
    I am so deeply grateful, yet again. I was blessed to be introduced to a practitioner with a most beautiful soul who, in turn, immediately alerted me to the Tapping World Summit 2009. I have one particular issue that has been very difficult to uncover, and have been working on it with what seemed like slow but good success. As months have passed, and many distractions, I haven’t been able to keep track as closely with you “guys” lately, but kept the e-mails. This one jumped in my face. I thought– “I don’t really have time” and “hey, I’m doing mostly well – probably don’t need much help – don’t think I really have any grief issues”. Yeah, right. Divine Hand at work. Suddenly, a huge crack has been opened in that one particular issue that seemed “under control” and checked off my list, ESPECIALLY AS OF YESTERDAY. Now, what this little gem helped expose are felt but unacknowledged aspects, which came out like an avalanche. It doesn’t go as well when you try to do too much by yourself, and then you get handed the right answer anyway.
    Wow !
    Blessings to all of you for the blessings you are bringing to all of us !

  16. Aldona says:

    Thank you so much Carol. Jessica, and Nick for letting to download and listen to Grief. When I found my husband dead almost three years ago it was such a shock…I am still going through the process. Your words, dear Carol, and wording for tapping resonates fully with me. I will tap and tap again. I have had some emotional release. and think more will come.
    God bless your work!

  17. Cindy (Sydney, Australia) says:

    Thank you so much for deciding to allow us all to have this as a downloadable recording.
    It is such an impactful recording to keep as “Grief” is something that can effect any of us at anytime, many times in our lives for many different reasons so having this “resource” of a tapping expert to follow along to is invaluable. I am hoping it will help me to finally be able to become “unstuck” from my grief and be able to move forward, or look forward, to living my life, instead of just existing, or going through the motions, day to day.
    Again, you have my deepest appreciation for your generosity.

  18. Patricia says:

    Thank you for this free opportunity to listen to Carol speak about grieving and the process. While I don’t know what some terms mean (e.g. “Karate Chop” or where this involves…hand on hand, or what), I did pick up the other places and could try to do some “tapping.” I really related to Carol’s lovely words and descriptions of giref and the different stages and acceptance of ourselves and our own individual way of coping and showing grief. It was very helpful to learn that certain comments or statements or comparisons are NOT HELPFUL TO THOSE GRIEVING. I had friends who expected me to “entertain” them and to “keep a stiff upper lip,” when all I wanted was to talk about the person I had lost. I needed to remember them. This was more helpful than any other advice I’ve received. Thank you so very much.

  19. Monica Rix Paxson says:

    I think that the process of grieving (in other words, feeling the feelings of grief) is one of the most critical abilities to have as a human and remain healthy. It is helpful to have the time and privacy you may need to just wail—to be insane with grief if you will. (In biblical times people would head into the “wilderness” to grieve.) Tapping may be helpful, but the goal should be to be free to express your grief rather than suppress it. So tapping isn’t a substitute for feeling your feelings, but it may help you come back to yourself faster when you are knocked over by the big waves. Short-term therapy can be useful as well. To really get to the other side, you have to allow the truth of loss have its way with you for as long as it takes. The problem with suppressing grief is that it inevitably recurs in the form of illness or depression.

  20. Hank says:

    Thank you for this wonderful piece… my wife and I have been involved with Hospices for many years and are planning on using EFT with these patients. We know that when fear is removed – peace can be restored… With no fear – dying can be a precious experience and a time for the miraculous to happen! As an EFT practitioner I have been very blessed to be able to help people and as importantly – help myself! 🙂

  21. Pauline says:

    Thank you so much for giving us this incredible audio as a download. It will be of incredible value to so many with Carol’s down-to-earth approach to coping with grief. She shows us that we no longer need to carry guilt about not conforming…brilliant!

  22. ellen says:

    Thank you so very much for making this a download.
    I lost my daughter in a car accident almost a year ago and although tapping helped me a great deal with the whole trauma and related stress I still had to go through an painful emotional grieving process. I found that the grief came in waves. Sometimes almost overwhelming. I can see why some people without tapping as a tool could consider “checking out” just to avoid the pain. Yes, grief certainly does hurt but we can use it as something we can grow from too. How else can we know what someone else is feeling unless we’ve ben there ourselves. All things are lessons God would have us learn.
    Bless you Carol, Nick and Jessica for sharing this with the world.

  23. Joy says:

    Thank you so very much for sharing Carol Look with us on the topic of grief.My adult son died 9 months ago and wow-don’t know what to say-he died-how can that be? i notice that time is differnt for me as in the somehow i have not been here since he died. i want to escape-food has been my emotion stuffing choice and of course now its a matter of hating myelf for getting so fat…………………..listening to Carol as always was help full and insight full. I would like to know if you not only have the
    r ecording available BUT I would love the transcript especially the tapping so I could print it and read & tap with this.
    again thank you

  24. Ulla says:

    Thank you so much Jess and Carol! It certainly hit home.

  25. Emma says:

    Thank you so much for your generosity in sharing this. I couldn’t believe the timing of this audio, it has helped so much. Carol really hit the mark here especially about guilt and having a broken heart.

  26. Deborah says:

    Thank you Nick, Jessica and of course, Carol. I’m so glad to see this work in the world and how people are responding. And I’m so grateful that support for the healing and grieving process is available. D.

  27. Janet Y DeVore says:

    To the EFT Staff, I heartily applaud your continuing efforts to help peole heal themselves and this planet. Eft works! For more than 20 plus years, I taught acupressure at a local college and at my own massage school. The electro magnetic grid/field of the meridians/tsubos work! I am very happy to see this form of healing spread to the people, and to their helpers. Comment by Janet

  28. Linda says:

    THANK YOU!! i didn’t realize just how much I was holding onto. Thanks for assisting me and helping me to release the pain,anger, and the feelings of guilt.

  29. Anna says:

    I loved Carol’s tape about not judging how people grieve. We all do grieve differently. Nor is divorce or being deserted necessarily any easier than the death of a person, in fact, as it usually involves choice on the part of the other person it can seem worse. Lots of what happens to us in life can be devastating…

    I have gladly recommended tapping to several people since I first learned about it, about nine months ago, as a tool to help through various crises.

  30. Christine S. says:

    Thank you…. from my heart…. it helped.

    It was very generous of all of you to share this session with all of us.

    Peace and Love,
    Christine S.

  31. susan says:

    Thank you for sharing this interview. I have experienced several deaths in my lifetime of family and friends. I lost all of my grandparents and my favorite aunt by the time I was twelve. My two year old daughter passed away when I was 23, while going through a divorce. We never found out the cause of her death, but it was sudden with out any warning. She called out mommy in her sleep and she was gone. In the past six years my brother , mother and father past away suddenly. I became very ill three years ago, when the moisture in my body dried up – no tears, I couldn’t sweat, no moisture in my eyes, nose or saliva and I would drink liters of water at a time. I couldn’t stand light, noise, sound or smells. I was bed ridden in the dark for almost three months and in terrible pain. I turned to Natural Remedies and Acupunture when four MDs and several Specialists didn’t know what was wrong with me or how to treat me. After discovering BodyTalk and going for several sessions, I learned that the cause of my illness was suppressed grief and feelings of betrayal.
    I listened to your EFT conference through Mercola last month and I was able to release several emotions that I had suppressed which were the cause of my illness. When we do not deal with our emotions and try to bury them, they will eventually turn into illness. I always wondered why I frequently experienced colds and flue like symptoms before my illness surfaced.
    As I worked through this session today I feel lighter and at peace inside. I have used EFT on a regular basis with Body Talk Sessions and feel the two modalities work very well together. Thank you for opening this session to the public for free. I wrote out all of sessions today so I’ll be able to access them as a guide as needed. Thank you for the good works you are all doing.

  32. Ankhara says:

    Dear Nick, Jessica and Carol
    Thank you so very much for this sharing. Only yesterday I learnt that my beloved pet cat had been run over and killed and I find myself in a place of profound grief. This programme was beyond timely. I have only had one bereavement prior to this so feel so unfamiliar with how to process such deep sadness. I think with pets its even harder to allow yourself to grieve because you know there are some people thinking its only a cat. The programme gave me more permission to express my sadness and the posts have helped me to remember the tears will come in fits and starts – sometimes a minute or two and sometimes longer but whatever it it is its OK and I can handle it.Also what helped was to remember to target the different elements quite specifically and be aware to tap when a trigger to the grief takes places. So once again thank you all.

  33. Cristina says:

    I recently received the news of the death of my ex-husband. He lives in another country so I had to break the sad news to our children and that was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Their father lived in another country so they were not able to attend his services. Closure will be challenging. I am grateful that this timely and pertinent tapping session has been made available for those of us who are experiencing this difficult and painful transition. Thank you.

  34. MEJ says:

    Hello Carol, Jessica and Nick,

    Thank you so much for making this information available. I have been tapping since the 2010 Summit and because of it I’m continually getting phenomenal relief for my life challenges. I am also aware of ways to share with others who are encountering heavy burdens in their lives. It is difficult sometimes to share with others helpful methods for handling challenges. Some people need to experience the deepest lows in order to eventually realize the highest elevations beyond the trauma.

    A man in my work group lost a grandson three months ago and he is really broken. There are some who feel that enough time has elapsed for him to manage this death in a less visiblly weakened way. I understand the process he’s undergoing and know too that no two people experiences grief in the same way.

    My spouse ended his life in 2003 and I’ve heard a few very insensitive things from people. You say comments aren’t meant to be intentionally hurtful and I’m sure that’s true for many but for some, they intentionally seek to injure. Things were spoken with seemly great conviction in their accusation and lack of sensitivity. I am sharing this with some of the people in my circle so that we can better understand how to be less insensitive.

    Nick, this is so wonderful of you to share. Magnificent on every score!


  35. Cora says:

    Hello Nick, Jessica and Carol,
    Thank you Nick, your words of urgency to listen now were valid. Carol’s approach to the process of grieving is healing. I find the information gleaned from this interview priceless and of immense value to me personally at this time in my journey. Wishing you all blessings.

    Warmly, Cora

  36. Hanne Iversen says:

    Thank you so much for this grief tapping. lost my husband of 42 years 1 1/2 years ago.And you are so right, one never knows when the grief strikes you,but I have learned to allow my tears and it usually only lasts for a minute or two.
    I too as many of the other commentors cried during the session, but it was a good cry
    Best regards from Norway Hanne Iversen

  37. Fay says:

    Thank you it was great listening to this. I guess for me there is no grife of some one dying but of some one ( my husband leaving me) & althouhg this happened over a year a go I’m still struggeling with heart pain, sadness, anger etc. I still getting over the shock of what happened. So this was helpful. Also 2 people I knew quit well died within the last week & I have been thinking of the fact that life is temporary, & it kind of made me feel sad that really here on earth there is nothing that will last for ever.. or people that will always be there, or it is good to know & learn how to deal with grife of lose.
    Thanks again.

  38. Mavis Lloyd says:

    Excellent in-depth discussions of specific tapping processes, breaking down one crucial idea into manageable components.

  39. Dorothy says:

    Dear Nick, Jessica and Carol,

    My son recently lost his best friend to sudden death at age 33. As you state in this interview, there are no words to describe such devastating loss for those left behind. What a timely gift this has been!

    Thank you so much.
    Blessings to all,

  40. Caro Eardley says:

    Wonderful interview – thank you so much for these insights. I’d just like to add that grief & grieving can occur on many occasions where death is not the issue – for instance it could be the experience of violence or divorce or seperation etc – but all the wisdom & technique & phrases can – and should! – still be applied. Once again, many thanks.

  41. Emma says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. I’m going through a very intense process of grieving for different losses in my life that until very recently I have found it very difficult to grieve for. The pain has felt too intense to feel. Over the past couple of weeks I have allowed myself to feel the pain and it has felt overwhelming. When I got your message with the title “grief hurts” I knew I needed to come and listen to what was offered. I wasn’t clear on how to use tapping to help with these feelings of grief, but having listened to this pod cast, I have a much clearer picture of how tapping can help me move through the feelings and not feel overwhelmed by them, or stuck in them. Would it be possible to have a downloadable podcast of this recording so that people who need to can listen and go through the tapping as often as they need to? Thank you again for this wonderful resource.

  42. Purnima says:

    Hi Carol, Jessica, Nick,
    Thanks a lot for this interview. My mom died when I was 10. (I am 37, fat, single). I was not allowed to cry on that moment. I cried later when i did landmark advance course…. I analysed myself a lot and got that i started putting on weight after my mom died n when i had to take responsibility of my dad, 2 younger sisters (ofcourse my grandma was there) but I lost my childhood. on top of that i had guilt that my mom died because of my wish (my grandma in her frustration had told me once that u mom is not dying n letting us live in peace n she was cranky sometimes though she loved us a lot. so i had wished as a 10 yr old for a peaceful home….) There were times i blame my mom for not being there for me…. I am there for my dad, my sis but who is there for me???? I had blamed her for my fatness also for not being married etc…….
    I did all the tapping just now with carol n it was helpful.

  43. Kerstin Allemyr says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this interview! It gave me many insights to different issues of grief, and how one often tries to avoid it because one is “supposed to be over it”.

  44. Katie says:

    Dear Carol, Jessica, Nick,

    Thank you so much for this! One of my closest friends died unexpectedly about 6 weeks ago and I the grief still comes in waves. Shortly after my friend’s death, I also decided to end a relationship once and for all, which was also painful. Since then, I have been having problems focusing, I feel scattered and now my place is a mess too. I’m having problems sleeping, and have gained weight. And everyday I still think about both of these two people who were in my life and are now gone. So Tapping for Grief was exactly what I needed. (I love how the Universe provides!) I didn’t realize that you don’t always need to do a set-up.. just tapping helps. So thanks for that very useful information Carol. I also send my heartfelt condolences to you, and your family, regarding your own personal losses. That goes to fellow readers as well. Peace and Love to all.

  45. Thaida Stovall says:

    Dear Carol, Jessica, and Nick,
    A million thanks. My heart is heaped up with the many feelings of lost. When I saw Nick’s email on grief, I knew it was a sign. I tried to tap before, but nothing came. I just lost my Daddy, who was so very dear and close to me. I have gone through two floods, and today I found out that the college I have been studying at is closed without prior warning. I feel like I am sinking and need a life ring. All day I prayed and asked God to help get me through this. When I saw Nick’s email on grief, I knew that this is the life ring. Yes Carol, you are right, grief is so very painful. However, I know that I am going to work this out. Indeed it is a process. I thank you for sharing this with us. I thank you too, Jessica and Nick, for making this available. It has helped, so much. A million thanks to all of you. Thaida

  46. Jan says:

    This was very insightful. Thank you very much for sharing. I will use for myself and others. Awesome!! Jan

  47. Cindy says:

    Thank you for posting this. I am suffering depression brought on by grief i didn’t even know I was suffering from, or hadn’t thought that what i was going through was classed as “Grief”.
    Carol is right when she says it affects everyone differently. It is also brought on by such varied circumstances in peoples lives. I feel i need to listen to this again and do the tapping sequences over & over. I was wondering if there is anyway you could make this available as a downloadable recording or even better do you have a transcript?
    Thanks again for your generosity in posting this. i really wonder if you know how many people you help in doing this especially with such an important topic as grief. Nick, you and Jessica have my deepest appreciation.

  48. Marie Phillips says:

    Enlightening and inspiring … I had no idea that I had so much grief stored away…. powerful stuff, lots of tears but much relief! Thank you so much for doing what you do!!!

  49. Caroline Nielsen says:

    greetings Dear ones,
    Thank you so, so much Carol, you really touched my heart with your openness sharing some really sad things. I lost my mother in november 2009 and the things that happened after that was really horrible. My two elder siters started to fight with me over the inheritance and even abused me. There was no time to go slow with emptying mothers apartment and throwing her belongings. Myself I would have wanted to take it slow in order to go through the process, but my sisters could’nt wait to get rid of all of her stuff. To see my mothers belongings, once my home and childhood memories, out on the web on auction, was so painful. Mothers hwole life just wanishing in space, for no money at all. All the things my mother thought was so nice, was sold for nothing at all, just coffeemoney as we say in Sweden. The grief of loosing not only my mother but my sisters and their families, their children, whom I love, was, and is still just devastating for me.
    Listening to you helped me understand more of what’s going on in my body. I have had some pretty strange sensations and symptoms going on in my body.
    I have had so many feelings that have been so hard to handle, not only grief, but deep hate, resentment, avenge, retaliation. And all of theese absolute “forbidden” feelings have been so hard tapping on.
    Not having to say the statement felt really ok, because I really don’t know what to say at times. It allows me to tap anyway.
    Again, thank you.
    In love and light

  50. Corry Roach says:

    Great information on grief issues and appreciate your candor. Thanks to you both.
    As a nurse grief therapist, I did a volunteer audio for http://www.tenmillionclicksfor last year on the relationship between grief and inner peace. It is posted on my website blog at under 16 November 2009…Please share this as a gift as well…
    My website blog exists to assist and educate the general public about grief.
    After many years in this field, and as someone well acquainted with significant loss, I believe grief is at the core of all imbalance in human nature, whether it is caused by the death of a loved one or the loss of innocence for veterans who return from a war zone. Only by true acknowledgement are recognition of the masks we wear will we have hope in finding inner peace as a human species.

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