When They Least Deserve It…

Written by: Nick Ortner

Nothing is worth more than this day. - GoetheWe have a little sign in our kitchen that says, “Love Me When I Least Deserve It, Because That’s When I Need It Most”.

It’s a little reminder to treat each other with love and compassion, especially when things aren’t going perfectly. I try to apply this not only in the house, but also in my life  – and I took it a little further just a few days ago.

I was in Florida, getting some sun and rest after a long (and wonderful) Tapping World Summit, and was having dinner with my wife, daughter, and in-laws.

We were having a great time, as we had over the previous couple of days, but there was something about the dinner that wasn’t the greatest. Simply put, the waitress was non-responsive, slightly rude, and just made the whole dining experience a little difficult (I’m being nice… lol).

I’ve always been one to tip extra for great service. I’ve worked in restaurants and know what back-breaking work it can be, and I love rewarding people who give you a great experience. But I’ve never felt comfortable being “punitive”, i.e., “That service was terrible so I’m going to leave you a terrible tip.” It always seemed like a little bit of an eye-for-an-eye mentality.

So normally, I would just leave our server an average tip and call it a day.

But then I thought about the sign in our kitchen…

“Love Me When I Least Deserve It, Because That’s When I Need It Most”

And I changed it in my head to… “Tip Me When I Least Deserve It, Because That’s When I Need It Most.” Haha!

Tip me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it mostI don’t know what was going on in our waitress’ life. I don’t know what challenges were preoccupying her, what kind of day she had had, what sort of life she was living…

So instead of leaving an average tip, I left an extraordinary tip!

And I don’t know if it made any difference or if she thought I had made an accounting error, but I like to imagine her seeing it, and feeling the LOVE that it signifies.

Maybe it was just the extra relief she needed to take a deep breath. Maybe it made up for the bad tips she had probably received all day (based on her service!). Maybe it helped pay a bill. Maybe it helped buy a toy for her child. Who knows?

All I know is that she needed love, and besides our smiles and being kind to her, this was one way I could express that love to her.

So today, I invite you to find someone who “least deserves” your love, and give it to them.

It’s much easier to do with a stranger than it is with someone close to you who has hurt you, so if it feels too tough to do that, I’ve included a short tapping script below to help overcome the resistance to sharing that love.

You can also check out the MANY tapping meditations in our Tapping Solution App to help you as well.

Sometimes tapping for literally 60 seconds unlocks that stuck energy about a situation.

If you’re new to tapping, learn the basics here.

To tap on this issue, pick someone or a situation such that when you think of it, a part of you says, “They don’t deserve my love,” or, “They don’t deserve my forgiveness.” As you think of this, rate your resistance on a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the highest intensity. What’s the emotion around this situation? Feel it in your body, and let’s tap!

Karate Chop:  Even though they don’t deserve my love, and I just can’t forgive them, I choose to relax and feel safe now
Karate Chop:  Even though I just can’t let this go, I can’t condone this behavior, they don’t deserve my love, I choose to relax and feel safe now
Karate Chop:  Even though part of me refuses to forgive them, I can’t open my heart, it’s just too hard, I love, accept, and forgive myself
Eyebrow:  I can’t let this go
Side of Eye:  They don’t deserve my love
Under Eye:  So I’m going to withhold it
Under Nose:  Since they don’t deserve it
Under Mouth:  They’re not going to get it
Collarbone:  All this frustration towards them
Under Arm:  I just can’t let it go
Top of Head:  But what if I could start

Eyebrow:  What if part of me could forgive them
Side of Eye:  What if part of me could give them a little bit of love
Under Eye:  Even though they don’t deserve it
Under Nose:  I can start to consider
Under Mouth:  To contemplate opening my heart
Collarbone:  Even though it feels so difficult
Under Arm:  I can try
Top of Head:  To let go

Eyebrow:  I can love them when they least deserve it
Side of Eye:  Because that’s when they need it most
Under Eye:  I can love them when they least deserve it
Under Nose:  Because that’s when they need it most
Under Mouth:  Feeling safe letting go
Collarbone:  Feeling safe opening my heart
Under Arm:  Right now
Top of Head:  Right now

Take a few deep breaths in and out… and check back in.

What came up for you there? Look at your original number again, where is it now? Make a note of new things to tap on, or keep repeating these rounds until you feel it’s cleared.

And then… here’s the most important part. Once you’ve cleared the resistance… DO something!

Send a kind note to that person you’ve been struggling with. Pick up the phone. Share your love. Share your kindness. Share your heart…

And see what a difference it can make. 🙂

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Share your love. Share your kindness. Share your heart.

What came up for you in that Tapping or from this story? Comment below!

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64 Comments on this post

  1. Karen says:

    Thank you for this – I am torn between this being about me and my “mummy fails” and my son and the lack of respect and care that I feel he has towards just about everything.
    I have just done two rounds of tapping and let the tears flow freely. I am now feeling better equipped to face my work day, and the next moment with my son.

  2. Klara Fuhren says:

    yes, I understand how you felt, I did the same thing, it’s a good message you shared, thank you so much, I shall remember this.
    Love, Klara

  3. Ushonah Hutchings says:

    The extraordinary tip was full of love and forgiveness energy, which was carried by the monetary exchange. You are a beautiful human being Nick and I am feeling so grateful right now for your story and the timing of it. Your emails always arrive at times when I need support and the it’s like you’ve been reading my mail. I tapped and cried all through this one and it has made a huge difference to my day. Now to share the love !! Thanks again

  4. Roxana says:

    Nick, you did what Dale Carnegie would have suggested.

  5. Roxana says:

    Good advise. Thank you!

  6. Ashley says:

    I am a person who sometimes reads comments but never makes them. The beauty of the story you told about your experience with the waitress has really moved me. Mostly because in the way you tell it I hear that you are genuine in a way that is so down to earth and real and simple and not hyped up to try to sell anything to anyone. Thank you so much – for the story, for the shift of mindset, for the tapping, for the love.

  7. Kena says:

    It is an amazing! I got the power of love, kindness and forgiveness. I love it because it worked in me.

  8. Agnes Barna says:

    Thanks Nick. This was a very timely message for me and I acted on it. Love your work. Agnes

  9. Esther says:

    You are doing great work Nick.
    We will look back on this time and thank you and your team for your contribution to the paradigm shift we are experiencing. Thank you bless you.

  10. Name (required) says:

    You are doing great work Nick.
    We will look back on this time and thank you and your team for your contribution to the paradigm shift we are experiencing. Thank you bless you. ..

  11. Judy Cotton says:

    My husband and I did this tapping exercise this morning. It helped us let go of someone’s actions that hurt us deeply.

  12. Nurit says:

    Tapping gave me huge emotional relief couple of years ago, and I’m now back on track, happy and loving.

  13. Rita Hooper says:

    What a wonderful, healing way to perceive and deal with that situation. I am going to remember that forever, and do the same. Loved it and love you for sharing it. Thank you x

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