Surrogate Tapping with Jessica Ortner

Written by: Nick Ortner

Oh… the many times, in my personal journey of growth and development that I thought…

“If (fill in name of your friend/family member/colleague) would just do (fill in name of the modality/supplement/seminar/book), then their life would be so much better!”

Have you had similar thoughts? Of course you have, because you care about those you love. You are on the cutting edge of exploring information that changes lives, and you just want more people to know this life-changing information, to make better choices, to find more happiness, joy, health, and abundance.

But I learned a lesson many years back that’s encapsulated in an old saying…

“You can lead a horse to water… but you can’t make it drink.”

It’s been my personal experience that the best way I can help others is to:

A. Do my own work first – BE the change!

B. Share with passion and enthusiasm, but WITHOUT attachment to the outcome – i.e. whether the horse drinks or not!

And there’s actually a Tapping process that I’ve used to support that path, called “Surrogate Tapping”.

Now, I often think Surrogate Tapping is slightly misunderstood, in that people think, “Oh, I can just tap for someone else and FIX them,” – i.e. “I can make that horse drink!”

Whereas, I believe the real power in Surrogate Tapping is to first help us clear our own emotional attachments, stress, anxiety and overwhelm about the situation, person, or challenge. What I’ve found to be really exciting about doing this is that when we do our own work first, THEN THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

I can’t fully explain it, but I’ve seen it again and again in my own life and in those who have done this process.

So if there’s a situation you’re struggling with, if there’s a person who you love that you are stressed out and anxious about, if there’s someone you want to help…

Then take a few minutes to try this free Tapping Meditation.

Watch this short video with my sister Jessica explaining the process, and then use the 16-minute meditation below:

Introduction to Surrogate Tapping Video

Press Play Below to Listen to the Surrogate Tapping Audio

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download the “How to Tap” PDF

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download Audio

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download the Surrogate Tapping Transcript PDF

How did this process affect you? What insights or breakthroughs did you have? Let us know! Post your comments below.

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735 Comments on this post

  1. Christina says:

    Thank you so much, Jessica! This Meditation was deeply moving for my own healing process as well. What a great gift!

  2. Aliyah Strauss says:

    Thank you, Jessica. I have needed this surrogate tapping for more than a year with my youngest daughter in mind. She is living independently, but there is a chasm betweenus. You have brought me some peace of mind. I will repeat your video as often as I can. Thank you again.

  3. joan says:

    lt did help me.l don’t feel pain. l don’t worry too much.
    thank you.

  4. Carol Brown says:

    Thank you Jessica for sharing this wonderful process which does so much to help me relax, let go of control and really feel the love and peace for both myself and the relatives I am trying to help. You reminded me again that “All is well”. Namaste.

  5. Dalene says:

    Jessica, this was a learning experience in focusing on different thought aspects and not only on the problem. Please explain why the words: “I am sorry…. please forgive me……” ?

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Dalene. Jessica included the Hoʻoponopono prayer in the tapping meditation. Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that many people find soothing and healing. You can do a search on it to learn more about it and it see if it resonates with you. We hope you will continue doing this audio and let us know how it goes for you. xo

  6. Linda says:

    I feel that this tapping could have been 10 minutes long and be just as effective, this was a little too long for me. Also, to be honest,the background sound was also distracting and overwhelmed the words that she was saying. I like the work you are doing and will continue to keep in touch with the emails.
    Thank you.

  7. Janeen says:

    Been tapping for years and I really enjoy Jessica. And, I have one very big request. All the background noise, waves and music and water are very distracting and annoying. Sometimes it even drowns out Jessica’s words. People who have fear of water will also be put off by this. Can’t we just have your voice on the meditations. I truly have a hard time listening to any of your audios with the background distractions – they are not calming. In fact, I was calm when I started and then got very agitated by the noise.
    Thank you.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Thank you for your feedback Janeen. We are sorry to hear you don’t find it as relaxing with the background sound. For now, you may prefer to download the pdf version of this tapping audio so you can tap along without any background noise. We hope that helps! 🙂

  8. claudine-France says:

    marveillous – thank you so much !!

  9. Josephine says:

    A question for Jessica: in the surrogate tapping meditation, for what are we saying “I’m sorry”?
    Thank you, Jessica. I love your meditations and the depth and understanding they contain.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Josephine. That part of the surrogate tapping audio is from the ho’oponopono prayer or practice about repentance, forgiveness, gratitude and love. You may want to look it up to hear more about it and how it works. 🙂

  10. Anne-Marie Hogue says:

    I just love this tapping round. When I am in judgment, I’m carrying the burden of past hurts and expecting the same to occur again. Letting it all go and seeing only love, peace and light instead is so healing. It gives me hope. I don’t have to worry about the future in this situation. It will take care of itself. Thank you so much for this meditation and tapping round.

  11. Gayle says:

    This session was like a visit from The Angels of Salvation, this morning. My life has been crumbling, and crumbling. I seem not to be able to figure it out. I have asked and asked for acceptance and the will to endure what I must so surely deserve, else it would not be occurring and occurring to me. This session restored me to Grace and release. It has dismantled my Walls upon Walls of holding, retreating, and returning, to be bashed by new storms. There is nothing to blame. Thete is, truly nothing to fix. The solution is – as always – Love, Love, Only Love. Taking my self out of the middle and letting Love prevail. Thank you for your steadfast presence. Thank you for returning again and again, like sun and rain. Here, in Michigan, here, in my inmost heart, it is also a magnificent Summer Saturday Morning. Thank you!!!

  12. Sherri Albrecht says:

    Loved this! I feel peaceful, it is going to be a wonderful joyful day! Thank you for the great work you all do at the Tapping solution -with love and peace Sherri Albrecht ?

  13. Margot Crowder Davidson says:

    LOVED this meditation. It helped to integrate a number of ‘practices’ that I have been introduced to before. Beautiful and meaningful and powerful. Thank you Jessica.

  14. Jerri Adams says:

    Is this Surragate Tapping ,Jessica, included in the upgrade package I purchased.this is so powerful and just what I need. I’d like to do this surragate tapping every morning when I awake just to remind me–everyone has the power within to take care of themselves. Thank you Jessica and Nick for putting on this summit.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Jerri. Jessica does mention surrogate tapping in one of her presentations and the script is included with the workbook when you upgrade but you can also either bookmark this page or save the audio and pdf on the download links below the audio. Enjoy! 🙂

  15. Lucy says:

    I listened to Jessica Ortner’s webinar and decided to join her program. The cost was $454. 00 Canadian. When I left the webinar I lost all ability to connect with her program. I know my first class is on Monday and I have no way of connecting with it. Can Jessica please email me to give me a way of connecting with all of her programs? My email is It is a lot of money to waste and I do want to do the program.
    Thank you.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Lucy. Thank you for joining us. Please email and let our customer service team know that you haven’t received your emails so they can check your account and also confirm login details for the member site. We look forward to starting the program today and we hope you enjoy it!

  16. sabrina turner says:

    Thank you Nick for your answer. I will try that.

  17. Sabrina turner says:

    How many times do i have to do it? 21 days? It s quite long everyday. My boyfriend has different problems (financial, career, depression, etc) and i don t know with which topic to start with. Everything is connected. Anyone who can help me?

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Sabrina. Thank you for writing. We often find that surrogate tapping can help you feel better about a person or situation immediately but consistency in tapping is always helpful so if you would like to commit to a certain number of days and build on your momentum, that would be great! Start where you are by focusing on the issue that seems the most urgent or intense. Focus on that, do the tapping and see how it feels. Take it one step at a time and then check in with yourself about what seems the most stressful the next day or the next time you do the tapping and just see how things shift. We wish you all the best!

  18. Sylvie P says:

    Thank you. I used it with a wild shelter cat that I am trying to tame. It gave wonderful results. After only one session, she came to me and let me touch her for the first time.

  19. Bonnie Rabbit says:

    This is the second tapping that I have done as I just have discovered it yesterday through an e-mail I received from Nick. I was shocked to discover that you both have been sharing TAPPING with others for a decade, and even more so when I found out it was discovered in 1980 and I have not heard of it before now. How different my life could have been had I discovered it sooner. I have been on a path for greater awareness for a quarter of a century, seeking the truth my whole life, yet I have not heard anyone, even famous speakers, talk about TAPPING before. I am so grateful that not another day went by without my knowing it now also.

    I immediately believed TAPPING works before I tried it myself following a recording. After trying it, I noticed significant relief with pain. Now doing this Surrogate Tapping around the recent end of a decade long friendship, it has helped me release more of the hurt and anger. There is more sadness and grief to process and release, and Tapping is helping.

    Thank You 🙂

  20. malou says:

    I’d like to say that doing the surrogate tapping for this friend gave me goose bumps and a kind of heat in my body, as if it was real, I mean, I felt the sensations in my body.
    I’d also like to thank you so much for helping me understand the power I have not only to help myself but also to help others.
    I really love you all, and I know you can feel this love from all the peaople you help.

  21. Karlene says:

    I listened to this audio and felt an overwhelming sense of love for the person that I want to help. I felt very emotional and wanted to cry. I also felt a sense of knowing that the person would feel my love and understand that my words are from a place of love and not hostility. I felt peace towards the end and faith that God’s will would be done in that person’s life.

  22. Felicia says:

    I have heard this before & filed it in the recesses of my subconscious & am now in a situation that I’m aware I need to dust off the cobwebs to assist the person concerned in a different way. Thank you & Blessings Jessica for this timely reminder. As I followed today I experienced a lot of tingling at the face tapping points and also very calm & peaceful

  23. Rosemary says:

    Thank you. I feel much lighter. You also reminded me of a meditation I used to do in my apartment many years ago to fill it with love, peace, & light so anyone who entered it would feel this energy.
    Funny how easy it is for me to leave positive habits behind by allowing life to interfere & set me off track.

    I have been frustrated in trying to assist a close friend & wondered how to use tapping to help her. Now I know & it helps me to be nonjudgmental too. Something, I am ashamed to admit, I too readily fall into without realizing it.

    Thank you.

  24. Patricia Erickson says:

    the best tapping exercise I’ve ever participated in

  25. Kate says:

    Thank you for the beautiful meditation. I have been stressed for a long time about my part in this situation. I feel very calm and peaceful now and I trust that everything is happening in divine order.
    Tapping is incredible and has changed my life. Thank you to you both and all the wonderful help you give. Kate

  26. Annette says:

    This was the most powerful tapping-meditation just when I needed it! I accidentally bumped into the Tapping world Summit 2016 and it has totally changed my whole life for the better. And without knowing anything about this suddenly my husband has changed as well. This meditation was for my daughter and I cried through the whole meditation. Now I’m grateful!

  27. Rosa Muziotti says:

    What a great sense of relief! Accepting every person is capable of resolving his/her own issues is very relaxing. Accepting everything is working out well for others calmed down my mind.

  28. Patrice Hanson says:

    I loved that tapping meditation! It touched me very deeply! Thank you so very much.

  29. Jo says:

    Jessica and Nick, you too must have undergone a lot of tapping to create all these genial ideas. I just wonder how you cope with all the people connecting with you and solving their problems. Isn’t it overwhelming?

  30. Jo says:

    After all the summit, this was the first and only thing I really needed. It may save a great soul (not referring to myself).

  31. L Spain says:

    Wonderful enjoyed it thank you

  32. laura from montreal says:

    Just an extremely powerful meditation. I cannot thank you enough for this meditation. It has made such a difference in a key relationship.

  33. Perri says:

    Hi Jessica,
    Perfect time for this tapping! We have been trying to help our son who is depressed but without success… this surrogate tapping is just what my husband and I need?

    I am a big fan of both you and Nick and enjoy your summits. I followed the last one while on holidays in Mexico:) Congratulations! It was awesome as usual!! You both do amazing work. ( I’m also a big fan of Louise Hay and
    Wayne Dyer)

    Thanks for all your good “work”

  34. Kathy says:

    Thank you, that is lovely and exactly what I needed this morning!

  35. janice says:

    Very moving, came exactly at the right time with many insight into my role in the situation. Thank you so much for all that you and Nick do , it truly makes a difference.

  36. Mo says:

    Hi, thanks for this lovely meditation. I’ve had this situation in mind for a while now about a group of people that I love dearly and at times it pains me deeply and almost overwhelms me. Tapping on my own feelings about this have helped me find calmness and lowered my anxiety about it but this meditation took this to a new level: I hadn’t thought to be grateful for it and I know in my heart that the lessons I am learning may be hard ones but I am learning so much and that is truly something to be grateful for. I will need to work on letting go of my desire to control this situation but this was such a useful lesson that this is the wise thing to do as is the fact that I can only change myself and in the face of darkness of hostility offer love, light and peace and don’t need to waste time and energy in trying to figure out anything else to do. Thank you so much. I’ve been trying so hard to figure out what to do without realizing this simple truth. This is something fantastic you do. Thank you!

  37. theresa says:

    As I tapped along with Jessica…tears came flowing…the hurt surfaced that I carried in my heart for so long. I felt at peace after the tapping. Thank you!

  38. jan says:

    Thank You . This was in my mail box at just the right moment. Thank You for all that you do.

  39. Vera from Cherrybrook Australia says:

    Thank you so very much for this meditation. It came to me at a very special time of need and has helped me very much. This i will be using on a regular basis. Thank you again you are doing great work.

  40. Joan Redfern says:

    Jessica Hi: Just to let you know that I really enjoy your very professional and fun interviews on the summit, Hay House summit. I haven’t listened to you on Hay house Radio which i must do one of these dys. This particular summit is bringing me back to Tapping. I don’t know why I don’t use it more often and I am going to start now.

    I was just wondering if you ever do any sessions on Skype in case I wanted a session.

    Thanks and keep up the good work. keep expaning your beautiful work.

    Love, Laughter and Light Joan Redfern

  41. Krysti says:

    Hi Jessica

    I just want to say briefly that I am extremely thankful for you and the work you are doing to help people. I have been enthralled and inspired by you and your brother, Dr Christiane Northrup, Kate Northrup and Louise Hay and a few other (I’m just now getting connected with this amazing community of kindred spirits I always dreamed about but could never seem to find).

    As Louise Hay told me today via Youtube, put out into the universe what you would like to come back to you (or more accurately, WHAT you put out into the universe WILL come back to you). So I want to send you my sincerest love and support, I want you to know that I see you, I hear what you’re saying and I am extremely grateful to you for doing what you are doing. I truly believe I will meet you all one day and that this beautiful community of souls will become my home, I want you to know that you have my support and my prayers and my fondest wishes that you continue to live an amazing journey!

    Have the most delicious week of you life this week! 🙂

    Much Love

  42. Sally Thibault says:

    It’s always better to take a closer look at how mindfulness, meditation, and awareness can help you to live in the moment, relax, and help you to release stress and anxiety. This is a great read!

  43. Shari says:

    I am so calm about a situation with my single son, after doing this tapping. He had a stroke, was laid off from his job, and then his dog was put to sleep. I felt so sorry for him I did a lot of crying. However, when I listen to the Surrogate Tapping by Jessica it helps so much. I find I need it about every other day but it works. Thanks, Jessica. And…thanks for making it free to use. S

  44. Annie says:

    Dear Jessica, I feel so grateful for this audio which I have been using for years. Sometimes I forget it, and it comes back to me through facebook or another way when I need it the most !
    It’s what just happened with a wonderful and so fast change in a situation which looked so sad and dramatic !

    And it helps me so much to let go of my need to control when I am believing I know better than the other person !

    I love listening to your loving gentle voice. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart !
    You are great, a precious treasure, so is you brother Nick!

  45. Catharine Van Simaeys says:

    Wonderful …..Thank you Jessica !

  46. Vivian Bowman says:

    Thank you! I have had such overwhelming success with Tapping for my personal pain removal that I am anxious to use surrogate Tapping for my daughter in another state for her painful knee,
    She teaches Yoga and real needs the flexibility/pain free use of all her body parts.
    Thanks again & again!

  47. Marilyn Craner says:

    Thanks so much for the surrogate tapping audio! A great reminder about wanting to control unpleasant news and save loved ones!! This is a wonderful spiritual tool for all of us! Thanks again!

  48. Jackie says:

    Jessica, the meditation for surrogate tapping was beautiful.
    Beautifully spoken with words that touched me deeply. I wish everybody could listen to this – i will use it often. My feeling was that it would touch the lives of others and reach them no matter where they are, and the feeling of love that I received from it was unexpected and beautiful.
    Thank you so much

  49. Shirin Abrar says:

    I find this tapping meditatin very good and helpful.
    thank you for having shared it free .

  50. Marie says:

    I have been working on releasing some or all of my negative beliefs and have been using tapping along with meditation and mantras. This was an excellent tapping for me because part of my stress comes from watching my sons difficulties both financial and emotional. This helped to make me understand things will work out for him and he has the power to change his circumstances through faith and diligence.

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