Just over a year ago, I wrote a blog post called, “When to ‘not’ meet the Dalai Lama”. It received a ton of comments and inspired a wonderful discussion about the choices we make in our lives. To sum it up, I had a chance to meet the Dalai Lama but passed on it in order to take better care of myself and particularly in order to spend some more time with my uncle from Argentina whom I only got to see every 5 years or so.
Little did I know then, when I made that decision, that my uncle would pass away just a year later, and that that evening would be the last chance I had to spend time with him. So while I was very said when he passed away, I felt gratitude for the time we spent together, and for making that choice. I’ve re-shared the blog post below; I think it’s a powerful reminder of how important it is to spend time with family, to take care of ourselves, and to savor every moment.
As you may know, I’m passionate about personal growth and healing- finding ways to improve my life, the lives of those I love, and now people around the world. That passion is what drives me on a daily basis.
However, the other day, I asked myself, “Are there times when you can have too much personal growth and healing?”
I’ve been in the world of personal growth/development/self-help/alternative healing for a long time. I have to credit my parents for my initial exposure, probably in early high school (or it might even have been middle school!). I still distinctly remember my Dad’s Nightingale-Conant tape sets. About the size of a large binder, with a big picture of the expert on the cover (Earl Nightingale, Zig Ziglair, Brian Tracy, and others) and an enticing subject matter, “Lead the Field”, “A View From The Top” and others. My dad would buy them, I would borrow them and start filling my brain with this amazing information.
My mom played a big part with one purchase in particular. She is often lovingly teased in the family about her love of QVC and the Home Shopping Network, and while I find a few of her TV purchases questionable, when she bought one of Tony Robbins’ courses, she made the right move. 🙂 I “borrowed” it as I did my father’s tapes and was hooked. And thus the road to a lifelong thirst for information that could improve my life was paved. One of my roommates after college joked that I should just have my headphones surgically implanted since they were constantly in my ears!
All that to say, I love this stuff. I love listening to Wayne Dyer, and Carolyn Myss and Louise Hay. When I come home from the “I Can Do It’s” that I speak at, I listen to the other speakers. This is my life.
So the other day, when faced with an amazing opportunity to join my friend Scarlett Lewis to visit with the Dalai Lama, the choice seemed an obvious one. The Dalai Lama! What an opportunity- what an honor! I would be accompanying Scarlett (along with Dr. Lori Leyden), so this wasn’t a meeting for me personally, but still… to hear him speak, to learn from him, to be in his presence.
Initially, I said “Yes! I’ll be there!” but as the date neared, something stirred inside me that was telling me otherwise.
That stirring said, “You’re tired.” I had just spent the weekend speaking in Atlanta at an ‘I Can Do It’ conference and had some very early morning flights.
It told me, “There are no missed opportunities. Your uncle is coming to visit from Argentina, someone you only see every 5 years or so at most.”
And finally, that stirring said, “Stay home”.
Of course, my passionate impulses wanted to reject all those stirrings. I wanted to keep moving forward, at breakneck speed, meeting people, connecting with them. “What if I can share tapping with the Dalai Lama?” “How great would it be to get a picture with him?” “What might I learn from him?”
And while there’s nothing wrong with those thoughts or moving forward, something told me it was time to slow down.
Something said to me, “What might your uncle have to teach you?” “What might those extra precious hours with your family be like?” “What would the Dalai Lama do?!?” 🙂
I’m sure you can guess the choice I made: I politely declined the invitation and stayed home. Of course, there was a part of me that tugged and said, “What if you made a mistake?!?” But when I did some tapping on it, I got real clarity and comfort that this was the right decision.
The result?
A lovely evening with my family, on a beautiful Connecticut night, drinking some great wine and hearing stories from my uncle from decades past. Stories of how my parents met (I knew the basics but got more details), stories about my grandfather who I didn’t know, stories about me as a kid, stories that nourished a part of my soul like nothing else could. Connection with those I love and a memory that will last a lifetime.
And guess what? If I had gone and seen the Dalai Lama and had a chance to chat with him, he probably would have said, “What are you doing here? You should be with your family…” haha! But seriously, I think his advice would be to do what I did, to slow down, to connect with my family, to drink some great wine, enjoy a beautiful May evening in Connecticut and just BE.
1. There are no missed opportunities. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that. You’ve got to make sure that it’s not just fear or self-sabotage holding you back (and you can tap on that), but oftentimes, you simply need to say “No” or “Not now”
2. Let that Inner Knowing guide you. When you know, you KNOW. I’ve been more and more surprised on a daily basis just how strong and wise my intuition can be. But you’ve got to listen to it. Again, tapping can help you gain that clarity. When you can’t make a decision or feel stuck… “Even though I can’t make this decision…” Just a few minutes of tapping and you’ll be surprised about the clarity you experience.
3. Don’t take yourself, or others, too seriously. One of my favorite parts about my evening with my family? We laughed. Deep, hearty chuckles at great stories, old jokes, and being together. That nourishes the soul in the deepest of ways. That evening wasn’t about the next big thing, or spiritual growth or improving myself, it was just about BEING.
Of course, I’m just as passionate today about personal growth, about finding ways to improve my life. I’m busy at work today, moving forward, learning, helping, healing. And because I took that time, to just “BE”, I can bring more of myself, my best self, to this work.
So take some time to find that balance for yourself. When is it time to slow down and recharge? Are you pushing just a little too hard? Or when are you reaching for things that seem “spiritual” or about “personal growth” but in fact disconnect you from the essence of your life?
And remember, the answer to all these questions is deep inside you. You KNOW.
Until next time…
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
Copyright © 2024 The Tapping Solution, LLC
Your angels are guiding you through your intuition. Always follow your intuition. Look how wonderful it turned out for you – good for you Nick.
Hi Nick, as we are informed “We are always in the right place at the right time” all we need to do as you already know is to follow your inner guidance, Love and Light Jean.
You missed an opportunity of thousand, if not millions of lifetimes. I pray the opportunity arises for you again and that your obscurations can be sufficiently diminished for you to know and take the second chance.
Buddhas Blessings,
Diana
Its great to honour yourself but it seems to me that you missed an incredible opportunity to see a bigger picture and to understand the mind in a more profound way.
HH is a living example of a being who lives to benefit others and to be in his presence is to feel peace and compassion and clarity.
I think sometimes we have to be a little wary of some of our inner voices because they might not be working for our ultimate good.
Of course it is your decision what you do but hopefully if you get such a wonderful opportunity again I hope you will take it.
I would encourage everybody to see His Holiness because he has much to teach us about love, compassion and secular ethics whether or not you are Buddhist.
Hola hijo, asi llamo a mis afectos mas cercanos, ojala haya podido cumplir con las espectativas que tuviste antes de reencontrarnos en Usa, para mi fue muy importante, porque en mi interior tengo varias cosas pendientes con vos, sos ademas de mi sobrino, mi ahijado, la distancia ha impedido poder estar mas cerca tuyo de tus logros, de tus fracasos, de tus alegrias, de tus tristezas, solo quiero que sepas que me siento profundamente orgulloso de haber descubirto tu interior, alejado del merchandaising. Mantene siempre en tus prioridades la familia, seguramente seran los primeros en estar a tu lado cada vez que lo necesites. Me alegra ver la luz de tu camino, y desde luego te deseo lo mejor para vos, tu esposa y los descendientes que llegaran en algun momento……te quiero Tio Raul
I guess we each have to learn when we have had enough.
Moderation in all things. A hard lesson for me to learn.
I would have gone to meet the Dalai Lama. It would have
been such a thrill, an incredible moment to remember.
If your choice made you ***happy*** then that was the
right choice for you.
Our inner gut-feeling, or higher self, knows what is best for us. Too often we don’t want to hear or pay attention to the guidance that comes. Spiritual guidance is a gift. The ego “I want” must be recognized. When guidance comes, it can either be from a divine source or an evil source. The rule of thumb is: “Any guidance that is constructive and good is from God, otherwise it is not.
My best.
Nick,
I believe I create my own reality. From this prospective,I invite you to consider why you created this conflict of desires. Do you believe in “either/or” OR that you can have/deserve to have, it ALL. Once getting to this highest truth, I believe you won’t continue to create or attract situations, in which you have to PICK either one OR the other. Interstingly, there is presently a car commercial on TV now, that presents that premise. It is rather irritating and silly, IMHO,[what if it were bed OR breakfast, sweet OR sour chicken..instead of the AND were count on in those and many other cases] but the premise is more spiritual than it appears, to the discerning viewer; The overt and more subtle message is ” AND is better than OR”.
You listened to your heart…how can you go wrong!!!!….Family gives us roots and wings…family know us like none other…when blessed with true “family”…time spent with them is truly priceless!!!…Gives us the opportunity to be “family” to those who perhaps don’t have that connection with theirs…We all need “family”…either by blood or grafted in!!!
Either way, it would have been the right decision.
Yes, I do agree with your choice to always follow your inner Guide, your spiritual intuition, even though that would have been a difficult choice for me too!
Loving blessings,
Joya
Loved the story … There are times to just be and enjoy instead of searching.
Nick, I believe you made the right decision to stay home and enjoy the family event– which (with your visiting uncle)may not be repeated, whereas you will probably be given another opportunity to meet with the Dalai Lama, a special spiritual leader. Learning to listen to one’s intuition (and follow through) may not be easy when our lives are full of both opportunities and conflicts, but I am making every effort to “listen” as you did in this case. Thank you.
A Tapping beginner~
Irene Yurko
Nick, I think your decision was correct for the NOW. Your mind will tell you what you want to hear. Your gut will give you the right answer. Want a second opinion ask your heart, you will hear the truth. I think the Dalai Lama would agree with your decision for he too comes from a place of holiness.
Sometimes I feel too much marketing in the LoA business through the regular messages, I receive. This is an oxygen bubble, you’ve sent me, us. I feel the deep “you” of your personal life … and it feels good. Thank you for your honest and taping choices and sharing.
From my heart, Arlette.
I quite agree and thank you for this reminder that there are no missed opportunities and that nothing is more”spiritual”
I just regretted this morning not going to an invitation feeling the host would be disappointed!
yes we need reminders!
thank you once more
Annie-françoise
Nick, it was guided intuition that led me to your blog today. What you talked about is exactly what I have been struggling with the past few days. I have received an offer for a permanent job position but keep feeling that it isn’t right. I cant explain it, its just a strong feeling, a feeling that I have to move on and that the job that I really what is right around the corner. You are right, when you really listen to your intuition it becomes clear and you have to follow it.
I am so grateful for your insight!
I went through a very similar situation last June when I decided not to attend an “I CAN DO IT!” event that at the time was a milestone for me.
The past year has proven to be SO FULL of spiritual ‘gifts’ of new expanded awareness and synchronicity; I now truly deeply understand and trust Divine timing (and my intuition).
And guess what? I’ll see you in Toronto at this year’s I CAN DO IT! Don’t you love it!
Thanks again for the e-mail!
Jane
What a good story and what a good and confident decision.
I’m in an awkward situation currently and am handling it by being MYSELF – patient and trusting in higher powers. This is enabling stability to thrive and also bringing more positive influences to assist with improving the situation.
Great story and decision, Nick. I really hear you about slowing down to take time to recharge the wellsprings of our spirits. Good for you! Good for me!
My question is: Who are we when we stop?
Having the ‘courage’ to say ‘No’.
Challenging the perception of ‘less’, when the mind is instinctively pushing for ‘more’. It can have a ferocious appetite, and be difficult to tame.
But here, quietened, less was more.
Always follow your heart, it knows the way. Good choice either way.
Nourishing the soul!
This paragraph was key :
“Of course, I’m just as passionate today about personal growth, about finding ways to improve my life. I’m busy at work today, moving forward, learning, helping, healing. And because I took that time, to just “BE”, I can bring more of myself, my best self, to this work. ”
Thank you!
whatever decision you made was the right one.
If you had gone, you would have had an experience that would be useful and wonderful.
You chose another path and this was equally good for you.
I learned from your story to have more confidence in your intuition..
Sometimes we do what is expected, and we are so programed to achieve and
do the “big” thing, the challenging thing ,,,,that the nuances of small actions are missed.
They can be just as important,
Help us draw back and enjoy the small steps, which can be delightful.
If your Uncle were to pass away in the next year or so,
you will be so grateful to have had the time..
It is all good. Enjoy your posts…….. Make one think…….
Mira, te comento, me identifico con tú experiencia. Te comento que en algunas etapas de mi vida experimentaba la sensación de que algo va a suceder; y, sucedía, muchas personas dirán quisiera tener esa premonición. Pero quien la posee no desearía que nadie lo tenga, pues no se sabe cuándo, cómo, sobre quién, en dónde, a que horas va a suceder, entonces me venía un bloqueo emocional. No sabía qué hacer, mucho pensaba y mucho razonaba. La única solución que me quedaba es no salir de mi casa y esperar los resultados. Luego de transcurridos algunos días recibía una respuesta y llegaba a la conclusión de que la decisión que había tomado había sido la más acertada, como éste ejemplo en la vida de uno sucedieron muchos casos más. Para tomar estas decisiones debemos vivir en santa paz interna para poder analizar nuestras emociones, sentimientos y pasiones.
Hello Nick,
I fully support your decision, not that you need anyone’s support 🙂
I would like to add that you have given me a sense of peace for my personal schedule today. I woke up feeling overwhelmed with work commitments; by Thursday I’m usually pretty beat anyways. But, I also made a commitment to go visit my Dad who has been very ill for several years with lung cancer; it is always nice to see him but such an emotional experience.
I’m heading over to see Dad this afternoon with a renewed KNOWING that my time with him is exactly where I need to be and that everything else will wait and is basically unimportant in comparison.
Just wanted to say thank you for reminding me of what truly matters!!
Right on, Nick! The larger YOU knows and will always tell you truth. If we listen, we take the path of greatest peace and joy. The Dalai Lama has a way of confirming our basic, greatest humanity — and of course we are connected to him (and to others) at all times. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Claudia
We should all be encouraged to take total responsibility for our selves. We are all unique. No one else knows me as well as I do. I am the authority on me, I know when I am being authentic and transparent and honouring myself. I need to live in truth , if my truth says stop now I stop.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Years ago when i did things out of duty or responsibility putting the needs of others before those of my own body to rest, the universe stopped me, I fell and broke an ankle-life gave me a “break” and another time I was involved in a car accident.I then read a book saying that there are no such things as accidents that we each create our reality. When I was honest with myself i could see the truth and wisdom in this.
So, when your wisdom tells you “NO” I think it is worth listening.!
I agree. Sometimes I am faced with a decision between two things that are both positive and life-enhancing and have to make a choice. I trust my heart to tell me which is best for me in the moment.
You will get another chance to be with the Dalai Lama and that time it will be even better because you won’t feel divided.
Live well.
Absolutely agree with you even though a opportunity to meet the Dalai Lama would be unbelieveable who says it is not just as soul nourishing and spirtiually fulfilling to be with people who you know and love and have shared your life with. I am a great believer of listening to yourself if you are never sure just asking the Divine will guide you whether it is in the form of EFT or any other guidance.
What did I learn from your story.
About 20 years ago I ran from one self development course to another. Always afraid that I would miss out on something – that my friends would be racing ahead of me in the game. On reflection I know that there has been alot of change in my life on all fronts. Out of the blue I felt exhausted by my constant “running” so I stopped. It is approx 5 years since I stopped as yet I have not had the desire to start up on my self development journey. My Friday night dinners with my own immediate family, listening, respecting and taking each other seriously have often filled my heart with gratitude and love for the “just being”. Time marches on and at times I judge myself for not “getting on” with my life (self development) however when I am in touch with all of my senses I know my life is perfect just as it is.
Thank you Nick, last weekend I had a situation at work that required me to make a decision, a big one. I was asking my soul, what it is that I need to do so I won’t have the same situation in my life again, and I just got the answer! Your history just remind me one more time, that living for work is just not living. Happy moments are what makes us happy and recharges us to continue… as simple as that….
Love,
Gabrielle
Dear friend, you did the best following your inner Self awareness. This is my case too! Our love for our familly is the best gift that we received from GOD. As a member of the Bahá’í Faith since 1962 I can assure that . Best regards,
Eduardo J. Pérez de León.,
P.S. I did meet the Dalai Lama in Costa Rica in 1989 during the International conference “Seeking the TRUE meaning for Peace” I was invited in a gathering with the National Spiriyual assembly of the bahá’ís in Costa Rica in san José. I did a portrait in his precense with ink and coloured pencils and he wrote something beautiful for me in Sanskrit language and His Secretary translated to me.Best regards,
Eduardo J. Pérez de León Mexican artist & university profesor.
Nick your “stirrings” and the fact that you had a wonderful time with your family thereafter indicates that you made the right decision. Meeting the Dalai Lama would have been gratifying to you but this would have been one person’s joy, namely yours which was fulfilled. But by spending prime time with your family this made many persons happy and this is what great relationship is about. More people have benefited when you stayed back to be with family and you can be sure that the Dalai Lama would have wanted exactly this as the first need of human beings.
I agree with your decision, many times I have come across such situations and felt that i missed a good opportunity. But after sometime when i sit back and think, it was all for good and best reasons.
I also agree that we should take some time to listen to our inner voice / instincts everyday and acknowledge it.
Sometimes we have to let go to achieve somethings. I learnt that tapping will help us to get clarity of mind and to decide. Best lesson learnt from this article. thanks to you!
Regards,
Suman
Well done! That was a tough decision. You honored your intuition (and your family). How can that be wrong?
Thank you Nick, for the precious and authentic sharing, I have been watching to your video and those from the Hay House and got so much inspired , thank you !
I just went to see the Dalai Lama in Louisville, I liked him , He is a very unique , authentic , genuine, person . He connects to you right at the moment , his comments are simple and clear , he talks to you like talking to a child . making sure you understood the message.
I was expecting maybe A LOT , maybe I was expecting extraordinary messages , ( Like the CLUE for spiritual growth) but the general message was about to be compassionate, that love is compassion, like to be like children that no make social/economical discrimination . We all know it , but are we really committed to star a cause and forget about our well being and possessions ,comfort and mental realizations , he touch you in the way of working more on the inner beauty, also to understand the non believers as well as the common path of all the religious groups ,this was the general message. the next day were his teaching and the how to become a Buddhist , how to make perfection working from the mental to the physical connection and the discipline that it demands. I am sure you know all this , as I do , I went because there is important to support a clear and sincere well intentioned human been that wants us to reflect , you did not missed , you know him and his invaluable message , you can do more , just thinking in how can you use your great OPEN WINDOW to transmit his message ,and that will be a remarkable participation ,just lie if you were telling us how great was to visited the Dalai Lama .
thanks
Liliana
With every choice you risk the life you would have had; with every decision you lose it.
I totally agree with your decision. All of my life I’ve been taught or told I am to help others and I love doing it, BUT, I find as I get older, it’s not as easy to have all those “irons in the fire” so to speak. Now I’m having to learn to say no sometimes, which is very hard. I have also started to give “me” time, something I have done very little of in the past. I realize I owe it to myself and to my family and friends to recharge my batteries otherwise I’m no good to anyone. I enjoy reading your posts and the exposure I’ve gotten to tapping. Although I don’t do it as often as I should (haven’t gotten there yet) it does help me clear out the fog that seems to come between me and what needs to be done. Thank you!
Thanks for the honest sharing. I too have often found myself in situations in which I faced others’ shocked reply, “What are you THINKING?” I’ve zigged when everybody else around me (including a fearful part of myself) thought I should zag. But looking back those choices to zig have made all the difference – including just teaching me to trust my own “knowing.” Reading your book “The Tapping Solution” now. With your help and insight, I think I’m getting ready to zig again!
I am so glad you spent time with your family. My mother died suddenly in a car accident when I was l8 just graduated and getting to know more about where I was going to go in my life and my mother was not going to be there to even help with my wedding and family. Those moments she went with me to help find a dress to the prom and I felt so very close to my mom. She was a quiet person but you could tell how he felt. Not knowing those few precious moments are one of the last things I remember being with my mom doing something together. My dad died six years later after suffering from the car accident plus illnesses so I gave up my studies at the business school for two years to help take care of him and my two younger sisters. I did this not only because I had to but I loved my family and they came first. I always had my life ahead of me.
Thank you Nick! Your story was a wake-up call for me. It is all about choice and values. Thanks again!
P.S. I love your book.
I love that you listened to your inner guidance… There need to be more of us around! I too am one who listens even when I don’t “want” to” to the inner voice of my soul.
Thank you for sharing this great story about self-care and nurturing the soul in ways often not as popular as going to see the Dalai Lama )Or some other such person)
I will say, I got to hear him speak a couple weeks ago in Portland, OR and I will just send you the energy I got from the talk! 😉
Blessings,
Terra Bundance
you did the right thing,you have to listen to your intuition ,its bigger then reason,
I understand what you are saying about slowing down and just *BE*, but, what I can tell you is that the two times that I saw His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama were two of the greatest days of my life. He is truly a special presence to be with. I sat a block away from him and yet could feel his Stillness permeate me. I was tired that day, with physical issues that required the use of the outdoor bathroom every hour and yet, there was PEACE that filled me up. The night before his visit, I dreamt of His Holiness and knew that within that dream he had invited me to be present. The next day I spent 6 hours on the phone trying to find out where he was going to be, how to get a ticket and all with no use. I mentally said to Him “Well, it’s in your hands now. If you want me to be there you have to make it happen.” I left for my dinner date and to my great surprise, that person was going to see the Dalai Lama the next day and invited me to go along!
The next time I saw His Holiness was 10 years later. Again, I felt him ‘personally invite me’. This time it was easier to get tickets on line at Radio City. I just wasn’t sure if I’d get to go because I was my mother’s primary caregiver and her health changed from day to day. However, on the date of my tickets she was fine and I had someone available to care for her. We went into Manhattan, parked the car near Radio City and walked by St. Patrick’s Cathedral while they were ending a Catholic mass. We quickly ran in, said a prayer and received the last blessing of the mass. We are Roman Catholics and love St. Patrick’s.
As we waited on the side walk on line to get in for the program, again, the familiar peace enveloped me. I realized that all these people on the line were full of kindness, compassion and peace…and I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for having been raised in a Buddhist country for 8 years, Thailand.
Once we got inside, His Holiness came out and sat on the stage and spoke in Tibetan with an interpreter. We were with Him for 4 hours and without a doubt the whole place vibrated with peace, stillness, pure contentment. He is truly a presence to be with.
So, I’d say… the next time you get an invitation to meet His Holiness. GO. WITHOUT DOUBTS, WITHOUT EXCUSES, GO. I’ve lived on 4 continents, in 7 countries and been to over 50 countries…meeting may people of various cultures, religions, and ways of life. HE is a GEM. HE is a gift to humanity. GO.
I have a Guru, and his lineage is from the path of Yoga. I’ve been with him for 30 years and there is no doubt that he is, was and always will be my Guru. BUT, I’d go see His Holiness in a heart beat. My dream is to have the opportunity to bow at His feet and smile at his lovely face and receive his lovely smile right back at me.
GO, GO, GO, next time…. NO MATTER WHAT. It’s not really about what you can offer to Him, but what HE can offer to YOU!
With blessings!!!
Fe
There are people who are workshop junkies; there are people who seek out self-development celebrities; and guess what– they may gain some short lasting intellectual stuff but they don’t grow or transform; they don’t do the work; the primary work of inner transformation; the inner work of changing, refininmg, culturing the physiology of brain function which leads to the Silence, filling the mind with the attributes of intelligence, creativity, power, unboundedness, etc of the Infinite Absolute Divine, the Source of All. And, then function from there in the Relative.
We become That. We can’t fake it.
Blessings…
–Ernie
You listened to your inner being (your guidance) & it gave you exactly what you needed. There are no missed opportunities. It will come around again!
Thanks for sharing.
You are so “cool”
Best to you,
Gloria
Good choice. I try to always listen to that “little voice”. IT always knows. While I appreciate your dilemma, I was thinking to myself – didn’t he and his wife just have a new baby? Why is he leaving his new baby? Of course I was making assumptions that you were traveling without them. Yes you made the right decision but I think you already know that! You made the evening sound so delightful I wanted to be there too!
I do agree with your decision and it gave me a great lesson… I am 76 and sometimes I feel tired — even if I intended to do 2 tappings a day and at night I am too tired to do the second —I have to accept myself without blaming me…. at least I’ve done one with all my heart.. I did my best and I let God looking at my thoughts. Thank YOU for the lesson. I mentioned tapping but sometimes it could be something else.