Change Doesn’t Happen in a Bubble

Written by: Nick Ortner

Person in Bubble

Change doesn’t happen in a bubble.

What does that mean?

When you’re looking to improve your life in some way, as much as you’d like to think it’s all about you, it really isn’t.

It would be easier if it were. But change doesn’t happen in a bubble.

When you transform, or even when you try to, you affect the people around you, and their perspective and attitudes towards you can shift. When you show up looking different in the world, when you take better care of yourself, or try to be more positive, or do something to “improve” yourself, you affect others.

Transformation is Hard

Certainly, you can affect them in a positive way, and be a role model. However, if they’re not as loving and supportive as you’d like or want, the process is challenging.

So when you lose 20 pounds because you started eating better and exercising, your old friends might be jealous, or you might simply not be able to connect with them in the same way as before.

When you make a decision to stop gossiping or being negative, it might be hard for your fellow gossipers to handle.

And the real challenge here is that when your natural human tendency to “connect” and be accepted tries to kick in, it can be easy to go back and act the same way as before, just to fit in again!

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Misery loves company,” and that applies here. Friends and family might struggle to understand and accept the “new you”.

Tapping to a Solution

So what to do?  Certainly, there are strategies to change your environment, find better support, etc., but today I want to address how to work on the emotional element of this challenge.

So let’s do some tapping on it.  🙂

We’re going to do some very general “global” tapping, meaning I’ll share phrasing and language that isn’t specific but instead can apply to a variety of situations.

As you zone in on your particular situation, go ahead and change the language and be as specific as possible.

(if you’re unfamiliar with the tapping process, you can learn it here: )

Starting on the karate chop point:

Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to change because I want to fit in, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Karate Chop: Even though I can’t seem to make these changes stick, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Karate Chop: Even though change doesn’t feel safe, because of how it will affect others, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Eyebrow: It’s hard to change…
Side of Eye: I need to fit in…
Under Eye: What will they think of me if I change..
Under Nose: Every time I change something, I don’t get any support..
Under Mouth: This fear of change…
Collarbone: This fear of being different..
Under Arm: This fear of not fitting in…
Top of Head:  I need to fit in…

Back to the eyebrow…

Eyebrow: If I change they won’t like me…
Side of Eye: If I change they won’t support me…
Under Eye: This old fear of change in my body…
Under Nose: All the times I tried to change…
Under Mouth: And it didn’t happen…
Collarbone: All this fear of being judged…
Under Arm: What if they judge me…?
Top of Head:  How can I really change…?

Back to the eyebrow for positive phrases

(only go to the positive when you’ve moved the negative emotion down to a place where the positive phrases feel good)

Eyebrow: It’s safe to change…
Side of Eye: It’s safe to do what I want to do…
Under Eye: Releasing all this fear from my body…
Under Nose: Letting it go…
Under Mouth: Letting go of all the times when I tried to change and I wasn’t supported…
Collarbone: Letting them all go now…
Under Arm: It’s safe to change…
Top of Head:  It’s safe for me to change…

Keep tapping, again, focusing on specifics as much as possible.  Ask yourself:

What happened last time I tried to change?

How did the people around me feel about it?

Does it feel safe to change?

What’s stopping me from making the changes I want to make?

Use your answers to tap through the blocks to change.

Change doesn’t happen in a bubble…

It can’t, and that’s OK.  We just need to acknowledge that and be aware of it.

Once we are, and when we do the tapping to clear the emotional blocks to change, to clear the fear, the doubt, and all the other negative emotions around changing and others’ perception of us, then, change can really STICK.  🙂

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

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127 Comments on this post

  1. Tiitta says:

    It’s like everytime writing a grandma comment, I start writing my email **…the bubble is not *what they think of me* but straight about me; why do I act like this or that or even sometimes no acting at all (seldom, though)…so, as always, it did me good, missing your or sis’s voice?but tapping it was, and tapping it is and will be…

  2. Gladys says:

    Graet way to heal. I stopped going to pschothery – did not accomplish much.
    My questión rather than a comment is that can one have different intentions and do tappings separately on the same day??

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Gladys. Great question. Yes, you can focus on different issues in your tapping sessions throughout the day. It is best to tap on one issue at a time, starting with what seems most urgent or intense in the moment. Once you clear that or get the emotional ratings on the SUDS scale down to a 0-2, you can move on to the next issue you would like to address. It’s just best to fully clear what you are working on before you move to the next thing. Stay hydrated, get plenty or rest so your body can process all of the energy shifts and enjoy! 🙂

  3. Veronique says:

    Hi, I’m looking for a download copy of a tapping tree, like you mention in your book. Where is it on the web site?
    I’m using coaching coaching a lot for myself, my family and for coaching clients. Thanks for your work.

  4. Françoise says:

    Thank you so much again for your message, reaching me when I was struggling and doubting about change… Faith is growing because of people and organizations like yours, more we grow, more we shine and heal others, and it is a beautiful journey. Be blessed for your present, it’s all about Love and sharing that’s why I show how tapping works to as many people as I can. I go on, wish you all success and growth further. Have a glorious day…every day! ? ??❤️?? Thank you.
    PS: I see I’m not the only one saying the timing is perfect…what a huge wave of change! I AM definitely moving on and so excited to be a part of it. Much Love everybody out there! ?

  5. Chris Walling says:

    Thank you so much. This was a just in time process as I’ve made big changes and I’m dealing with people having a hard time with my differences. The tapping dialog has given Mr a release of the fear. and the rejection I have encountered!

  6. Pat says:

    Hello, I tried taping about 10 years ago following Gary Craig. But I got busy and forgot to tap. I attended your summit 2015. I went out and bought the book “The Tapping Solution” I did not start a journal. Now I know why that is such an important step. Once you clear a block you can not remember, how you use to feel about it. Thank You so much for making EFT main stream. i wake up with a smile on my face. I plan on tapping for the rest of my life.

  7. Dana Aras says:

    Perfect timing … perfect reminder. Very grateful for this gift.

  8. Marìa says:

    Todos sus articulos me encantan, son en verdad interesantes, en ocasiones no tengo el tiempo suficiente para practicar todo lo que yo quisiera, este en particular voy a practicarlo, estoy viviendo esta etapa y se que me va a ayudar. Realmente me siento muy agradecida con Ud. por compartir tdo este apoyo.

  9. Joanne says:

    How did you know that I’ve implemented changes & feeling as though I no longer fit in! It’s so hard though…
    Deep down I know these changes are right for me…I’ve been trying for a very long time to make them but my resolve has always crumbled when I felt as though I was on the outers.
    So when/if the doubts start to descend this will be my go to tapping routine.
    Thank you, thank you very much.

  10. Lisa says:

    Thank you, this has been the most challenging part of change….this article could not have come at a better time! Thanks for doing what you do!!

  11. Sharon says:

    Holy sh…! This is huge! I had no idea I was holding myself hostage. I had 3 businesses in the past all with partners, who, in the course of 25 years destroyed all 3 with their drama, drugs, and immature behavior. I was the clean up crew, always fixing and repairing what was left behind in the aftermath of the tornadoes. I totally took full responsibility for my end but also for theirs. Wow I never saw that.. I thought I couldn’t have my own business again because I was such a failure in the past but now I see that I can. My fear has diminished to a 2. So off to tap some more.. this is sooooooo cooooool!!!
    Much love and good vibes your way,

  12. Nona says:

    Thanks for all the great ideas and tapping dialogues.
    I agree that unfortunately, people don’t always support or celebrate other’s success.
    Of course it is because they want the same thing for themselves.
    Hopefully, as humans evolve, they will realize that supporting what is good and what they truly want,
    be it in themselves or others is always what brings the manifestation into their lives.
    So many feel that if someone else has success, it means that they won’t get any. Absurd, because like begets like.
    I look forward to any and all emails from your site.
    All the best,

  13. Jo says:

    Thank Nick. This one’s a keeper!

  14. daya says:

    We are living ina worl where we have learnt to change. This change has been given In our Holy Books like Bible, Geeta etc.
    But EFT has been a simple method that eliminates a huge amount of learning and it gives you much faster effect in many areas that helps you to change

  15. mila says:

    Thank you so much Nick for your generosity to share.You are amazing!!!Tapping is easy ,step by step we going to our change.Keep going,because tapping is fantastic:-)))

  16. frances stuart says:

    Thanks Nick, that was just in the nick of time, so to speak. I have been tapping now only a short while and sometimes need reminders to do it as I have found it very helpful, thankyou.

  17. JL Johnson says:

    Nick, you are a very special intuitive-able to reach through the bubble without alerting the brain police that tries to dictate our creativity. thanks

  18. Jane says:

    Hi Nick,
    So glad to get this email from you. Although I don’t quite grasp the ‘change doesn’t happen in a bubble’ concept, I can already feel a difference-feel the negative feelings moving downward-
    after going through the tapping and repeating the sentences you provided. I plan to do it over and over until the scared/afraid to change feelings are gone and replaced with the affirmations.

    Thanks soo much!


  19. yonash says:

    Thank’s Nick allways helpfull at the right time to aliviate the load and making it real easy.

  20. roy says:

    Thanks Nick. I always appreciate your simplistic phraseing. It keeps tapping simple, to the point and easy to do.

  21. Jill says:

    Hi Nick, I love your post. It’s so true! I teach this very thing to my students learning about manifesting happiness in their lives. This is a great addition to the tools they are learning for supporting themselves through the change. I learned tapping a few years ago and stopped due to just forgetting about it. I have a renewed passion for it now and I’m using it on everything. thanks for this wonderful detailed instruction to help someone work through the changes. Love it! (PS: My site is under construction)

  22. Connie Kling says:

    Nick, thank you so much for sharing this, in such EXCELLENT detail!!!

  23. Elizabeth Erkenswick says:

    This was so easy to do while I read the email…I’m reading anyway, no more time to tap along. I really like that format. I just did Carol Look’s tapping online group last night, and one of the things she DIDN’T address was how to make the changes stick. This has powerful implications.
    Thank you Nick. You are a gift to the world.

  24. Joanne says:

    Good Morning Nick,
    This is so, so perfect. It takes me back to when I wanted to be loved by everyone and I’d change just to fit in even though it wasn’t really me. It’s taken me years to find me and I’m still working on it. Thank you so much for all this enlightenment.

  25. Marion says:

    Hi Nick

    Keep up the great work. I am enjoying all the tapping solutions you are sending and this one is particularly true of change, I do find tapping relieves a lot of stress and puts you in a better emotional frame of mind. Please continue with your great work and thank you so much. You are awesome. Cheers

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