Change Doesn’t Happen in a Bubble

Written by: Nick Ortner

Person in Bubble

Change doesn’t happen in a bubble.

What does that mean?

When you’re looking to improve your life in some way, as much as you’d like to think it’s all about you, it really isn’t.

It would be easier if it were. But change doesn’t happen in a bubble.

When you transform, or even when you try to, you affect the people around you, and their perspective and attitudes towards you can shift. When you show up looking different in the world, when you take better care of yourself, or try to be more positive, or do something to “improve” yourself, you affect others.

Transformation is Hard

Certainly, you can affect them in a positive way, and be a role model. However, if they’re not as loving and supportive as you’d like or want, the process is challenging.

So when you lose 20 pounds because you started eating better and exercising, your old friends might be jealous, or you might simply not be able to connect with them in the same way as before.

When you make a decision to stop gossiping or being negative, it might be hard for your fellow gossipers to handle.

And the real challenge here is that when your natural human tendency to “connect” and be accepted tries to kick in, it can be easy to go back and act the same way as before, just to fit in again!

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Misery loves company,” and that applies here. Friends and family might struggle to understand and accept the “new you”.

Tapping to a Solution

So what to do?  Certainly, there are strategies to change your environment, find better support, etc., but today I want to address how to work on the emotional element of this challenge.

So let’s do some tapping on it.  🙂

We’re going to do some very general “global” tapping, meaning I’ll share phrasing and language that isn’t specific but instead can apply to a variety of situations.

As you zone in on your particular situation, go ahead and change the language and be as specific as possible.

(if you’re unfamiliar with the tapping process, you can learn it here: )

Starting on the karate chop point:

Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to change because I want to fit in, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Karate Chop: Even though I can’t seem to make these changes stick, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Karate Chop: Even though change doesn’t feel safe, because of how it will affect others, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Eyebrow: It’s hard to change…
Side of Eye: I need to fit in…
Under Eye: What will they think of me if I change..
Under Nose: Every time I change something, I don’t get any support..
Under Mouth: This fear of change…
Collarbone: This fear of being different..
Under Arm: This fear of not fitting in…
Top of Head:  I need to fit in…

Back to the eyebrow…

Eyebrow: If I change they won’t like me…
Side of Eye: If I change they won’t support me…
Under Eye: This old fear of change in my body…
Under Nose: All the times I tried to change…
Under Mouth: And it didn’t happen…
Collarbone: All this fear of being judged…
Under Arm: What if they judge me…?
Top of Head:  How can I really change…?

Back to the eyebrow for positive phrases

(only go to the positive when you’ve moved the negative emotion down to a place where the positive phrases feel good)

Eyebrow: It’s safe to change…
Side of Eye: It’s safe to do what I want to do…
Under Eye: Releasing all this fear from my body…
Under Nose: Letting it go…
Under Mouth: Letting go of all the times when I tried to change and I wasn’t supported…
Collarbone: Letting them all go now…
Under Arm: It’s safe to change…
Top of Head:  It’s safe for me to change…

Keep tapping, again, focusing on specifics as much as possible.  Ask yourself:

What happened last time I tried to change?

How did the people around me feel about it?

Does it feel safe to change?

What’s stopping me from making the changes I want to make?

Use your answers to tap through the blocks to change.

Change doesn’t happen in a bubble…

It can’t, and that’s OK.  We just need to acknowledge that and be aware of it.

Once we are, and when we do the tapping to clear the emotional blocks to change, to clear the fear, the doubt, and all the other negative emotions around changing and others’ perception of us, then, change can really STICK.  🙂

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

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127 Comments on this post

  1. Kandi Eden says:

    Thank you for this one Nick, I have read it through and printed it off. It wll be a good one when I have a quiet moment.

  2. Anita says:

    Very helpful. I often make changes in my life, but decided to do the tapping anyway. And the script very specifically highlighted some other issues in my life. So I waa not only helped in connection to change, this also gave me more understanding in how I create change in my life. It opened my eyes to how often I affect change coming from a place of fear, rather than from a place of clarity and strength. Thank you.

  3. Elenir Stein says:

    Obrigada Nick ! Que DEUS abençoe sempre,esse trabalho é simplesmente maravilhoso,fazer tapping é divino…….Eu trabalho com terapia Holistica,tenho aplicado em min e meus clientes,com resultados magníficos….Muito obrigada……Abraços……Até logo……

  4. Anna-Carin Rahm says:

    Hi Nick. Your ability to be spot on with your tapping sessions is remarkable. It gives me 2 benefits, one is the tapping of course and the other is that it takes away my feeling of shame and guilt because you speak or write about it in such a manner that I feel ok even though I have this issues. Thank you!

  5. Annette says:

    Hi Nick,
    Thankyou so much for the tapping on change, just what I needed. I am getting ready to move overseas, new life. new me.I know I wouldn’t be here without the tapping. Thanks again

  6. ivonne says:

    Thanks Nick!!! God bless you for all the work you have done to improve and help other’ s lives

  7. dolores says:

    Thanks Nick I did enjoy this as I have enjoyed all the other tips on tapping
    I am more positive and able to cope with challenges and even help others!
    I am learning so much from the “Masters” dvds also. Thank you all for your
    great work!

  8. M says:

    I heart Tapping and tell everyone about it! I’ve used other modalities – almost anything helpful that comes my way and Tapping tops my list. It’s like walking for exercise – anywhere anytime always effective – and a breath of fresh air! love, M

  9. Jennifer says:

    Thank you Nick

    What a great tapping its always nice to have someone to facilitate, this enables you too
    relax and let other issues come to the fore that may nether see the light of day.
    Keep up the good work.

    Jennifer, UK

  10. Susan says:

    Thanks. This is good and puts things into perspective for me. I was feeling quite a bit of anxiety so this is timely.

  11. Kathy Hardie-Williams, M.Ed, MS, NCC, MFT says:

    Nick….great tapping topic! I loved the “it’s safe to do what I want to do” because what I ‘want’ to do is build up a FULL private practice as a marriage and family therapist and I often get scared because of money; I then start to feel ‘guilty’ for not getting a job and giving up the idea of continuing with my practice. Love the Tapping Solution! It works!

  12. Elaine says:

    I had a day of letting go of old things (the sale of my house is complete today) and a day of welcoming new things. I am in a state of change. Sometimes my confidence gets a little shaky.
    Thanks for this tapping sequence and reminding me it is safe to make the changes in my life that I know are good for me and my family.

  13. Jackie says:

    Thank you, Nick. This arrived at exactly the right time to help me deal with some family issues – I am changing and they are not and they ARE resentful. I love that you’re sending us tapping exercises – a great idea! Keep them coming.

  14. Patricia Couzner says:

    Thanks again Nick, it is great to have the words to get you started on the tapping, makes everything flow smoothly.

  15. Prashanti says:

    This is wonderful! As I am in a state of transition quite often this will help me understand much better how to cope with life in reation with others who don’t like it when I make poasitive changes in my life. Namaste to you Nick!

  16. Joan C says:

    Thank you for walking me through the tapping exercize

    I appreciate it

    Joan C

  17. Sunita says:

    Dear Nick,
    You have addressed a very important aspect of tapping into any change..thank you so so much !! Your mail nailed it …… Thank you again for the script ….am going to do it and am sure it will work !!!!!

  18. Douglas Bennion says:

    Thank you, very nice.

  19. Eugene says:

    Hi Nick,
    I just love tapping! It is such an easy, non threatening and gentle way to make changes in one’s life.
    Your article on ‘Change doesn’t happen in a Bubble,’ is really important. As a therapist this is one of the issues that comes up again and again. The individual really wants to change but when they are immersed back into their day to day life and the thoughts and attitudes of important others, who are not on the path towards change, come into play, their judgements and comments can be very powerful and confronting. Being forewarned of this aspect of creating change is crucial to being able to follow through, and not fall back due to fear of loss. I know for a fact that, ‘When I Change My Mind, My Life Changes!’ Thats why l love what l do, because l have the privilege of seeing the amazing transformations that occur in the lives of others when they ‘get it!’

  20. kesavan namboothiri krishnan says:

    Thank You, I have nothing more to say on the post as it was timely for me to deal with my friends and relatives keeping intact myself on new revelations of EFT. You are real Guru who knows how to make the aspirants able to cope with the new situations and social blocks. Tapping is a ritual for me and I believe the change in me will change the Universe at heart and Soul level.

  21. Phyllis Koss says:

    This outline for each step is excellent. It really helped me to tap thru my stuckness as feeling needy and I realized that I needed to have this feeling in order to help myself and to be compassionate and in return to be able to help others thru this negative feeling. I have never felt needy all my life until recently and I do not like it….I know what to do now. Thank you so much for this tapping exercise….

  22. Fran says:

    I really enjoyed you lining out the verbage and going through the tapping sequence. I know the sequence, but I still appreciated you going through it with the outline. perfect!

  23. Sue Thompson says:

    Thanks, Nick. I knew this in my head, remind myself of it often (because I am making some substantial changes and as a clergy person, have lots of folks who, though they love me and want the best for me, find my making personal changes challenging), but had not tapped it into place. That is now done.
    Richest blessings,

  24. Scott says:

    Nick –
    As hoakey as this might sound, some of your very positive energy comes through your loving emails. Love is, indeed more powerful a force than either fear or hatred, and when you post with such generosity I feel, well, LOVED. And THAT always gets my attention. Thanks for being YOU.

  25. Grace says:

    Thank you, Nick! What a great idea to give us the “script” for such an important matter! Maybe you could use this idea to help us with other issues? Hope so… Love, Grace

  26. Tara Oatley says:

    How true is when you want to change you are left alone with no support . Thanks Nick

  27. Bobby says:

    Nick thank you for sharing these tips. You are really a blessing. I’ve always been a positive person but tapping has made me even more so. Offering these tips for free is so much appreciated not only by me but I would say many others too. Finances is a big struggle right now in this economy. Again thanks from the bottom of my heart!!!


  28. MYRIAM AZPURUA says:

    Hi Nick, I’m so glad to hear from you again and even happier to receive such refreshing meditation. It teaches me that “change doesn’t come isolated”. All is related and, change is no exemption. Therefore change will produce effects. Having this present, helps me flow with other’s reactions instead of confronting them. It helps me opening my mind even more to a broader understanding of others and myself as well as to be patient and active with them and myself. This is a “kick in” to fun and real change.
    I also want to tell you that I miss the intensive and supportive contact of the 7 week course. The experience was so emotionally nutritive that it made a nice fingerprint in my heart and whenever I need it I recall it to lights my mood I’m going over all the material; I keep tapping and evolving everyday. Thanks again. Hope to hearing from you soon,

  29. Brenda says:

    Thank you Nick,.The fact that you are willing and able to reach out to all of us who need your “Tapping guiding light” for our healing is just so special to all of us.. My life coach and I are working on my healing and I am so lucky to have you also in “my corner”.Please take my thanks to heart, use my thank you to help you know, you are making a difference in people’s lives. You are important in the saving of lives. Honor that Nick. Thank you, Bj

  30. Marie says:

    Thanks Nick, I have already posted. I realise I didn’t say thanks to everyone involved for bringing this to the world. A better place for knowing all this. xoxoxo

  31. Marie says:

    Wow, this is really good. I am amazed at what I came up with as to why I didn’t feel safe to change. I didn’t want my partner to feel abandoned, like I had felt abandoned. My family husband and children toId me I was selfish back in 1996 when I started to do things that were MY interests, to return from being a mother and wife while still working fulltime to something that was about me. The judgement I felt. Wow, I can now release all of that and let them find their way. Communicate what I am going to be doing so there is no mystery. Listen and observe them and myself – to grow and become more of who I am, that amazing person that I truly am.

  32. Lisette says:

    Thank you so much for this one. It’s exactly what I’m facing now. People around me don’t like the change I’m trying to accomplish. Taking better care of myself and being more confident is not their benefit. I didn’t understand the way people respond to my hard work but this is a real eyeopener. I will sure keep on tapping that one! Love all the way from the Netherlands.

  33. Linda says:

    Like many here today, this email is just what I needed. People face changes daily and miss the desired encouragement or support from others. This post comes as a reminder to me to be a spectacle of light even when it seems I am the only one beaming, and to continue improving myself to have a fulfilled life.

  34. Sherrie says:

    Thanks so much for these tapping emails. They’ve been so helpful for me personally. Change is not coming easily. Not so much because I’m not fitting in, but more because I’m still making the same mistakes over and over. It’s beginning to feel like my mind is running the show regardless of the tapping. It seems to work for a while and then I’m back to OCD thinking habits. Is this pattern of thinking more difficult to break though with tapping, or is it perhaps how I’m doing the tapping? Or perhaps I’m not being patient enough with the results? Sometimes I feel so calm and peaceful, while at other times I feel completely overrun with OCD destructive thinking. Thanks for listening. Peace

  35. Kathy says:

    Very intuitive as you can see we needed this. Clearing the way for our expansion and ability to pass on the healing. In love and light, much thanks for what you do to shift the planet.

  36. Sandy says:

    Thanks for the article, have fear about changing, just what I needed.
    Take care

  37. Françoise says:

    Thank you Nick, I do feel supported now.. It made me cry. Thank you.

  38. Sheilah says:

    I really appreciate receiving your tapping scripts. It really helps me get out of knowing the right thing to say, and the fact that it is all for free is a gift that I am so grateful for.

  39. Suzanne says:

    Just to say a huge thank you.
    I love receiving such positive e-mails, they are so inspiring.

  40. Barry says:

    Hi Nick, I have been following Carol Look for a few years now and part of my problem is tapping with frequency or everyday. I have been out of work for eightteen months and I do see the benefits of tapping but time seems to be in short supply.Your script was very timely as sometimes topics don’t always come to mind when tapping but today you were on the mark!Change has always been a hard experience for me from childhood because I was expected to be obedient even when I was correct in the decisions I made.Long story short I was molested as a child by a relative whose spouse threatened my mother that I would be hurt if I told.My relationship with my was toxic from that moment until she passed in ten years ago, I had buried this incident in my subconscious back then but the incident returned to me in a dream two years after mother’s death.I did seek and get professional help and have tapped on this situation and feel more congruent.I blamed myself then for what had happened but I also had a pressing issue at the same time.I wasn’t a bad student(C) but wanted to be better but did not get the support I needed to excel – just criticism at report card time but no help was offered. I had so many doubts about who I really was.This made me feel as if I was a burden to my family.Even when I did make the honor roll I was never acknowledged, so it seemed to me I was never going to get any support from my parents and that was hurtful.This tapping exercise is spot on and I plan to start using it everyday!I am going to modify it a bit but thank you so much for striking a nerve I have been unable to confront.

  41. Marni says:

    Thank you, thank you for publishing exact words and phrases with positions! So meaningful and helpful!

  42. Ludmila Hamalcik says:

    I started emideately. It feels great and I cant wait what hapen from now on!

  43. Joni says:

    Thank you so much Nick! That was awesome!

  44. Vesna says:

    Thank you!!! For me this was the right message at the right time!!!

  45. Adriana Gómez Pimienta says:

    Hi Nick:
    Thanks for this tapping of change, is really amazing the thing that you can do when you let go the fear to change or to be diferent the tapping is wonderful.
    Thank you

  46. zahra says:

    Thank you very much for your nice, explicit, exact information.I feel that you care alot about us and it`s excelent.I appreciate this because you and your team answered all my requests.
    best regards

  47. Alfreda says:

    Hi Nick,
    I met you in NY at an Omega Workshop. This is just what I needed as I am changing direction in my career. Not sure what I want to do, but grasping at many things. Sometimes I don’t feel supported. The tapping words really resonated with me. Thank you.

  48. Sue says:

    Excellent session, I have very much been stuck in a bubble! Working my way to freedom so others & I can accept my changes without fear!

  49. Meredith Paddock says:

    Your e-mails are very informative and practical to use. I am new to tapping and look forward to your lessons. I have shared tapping with our four children and eight grand-children. This method can be used for all ages anywhere. Tapping helps reduce stress and improve life-style. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.

  50. Malathie says:

    Nick you are a mind reader! This script came right on time. Thank you so much. My regards to Jessica and Alex too:)

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