What to do when things aren’t going your way

Written by: Nick Ortner

So you feel like nothing is working, huh? Or you’re frustrated that everyone else is getting great results with life —or whatever you’re trying at the moment (like EFT) and you’re not?

Welcome to the club you didn’t even know you belonged to. The club that nobody knows they’re a member of because every individual thinks their problem is unique and they’re alone!

The club of one that is actually the club of many… (But it’s still exclusive, don’t worry.)

Let me tell you a little bit about the members of this club, to see if you fit the description.

Do You Fit These Descriptions?

Members of this club are loving, caring people who truly want to make a difference in the world. They’re looking to improve themselves, to support and help those around them, and they’re super dedicated to getting healthy, experiencing joy in their life, and living a life of abundance.

Members in this club are also often frustrated, can get angry, sad, or sometimes lonely (and then they get frustrated at themselves for feeling those feelings), experience frequent or infrequent cases of pain, jealousy, grief, fear, and a myriad of other “negative” emotions.

Members in this club look around at everyone else and wonder, “Why does it work for them?” “She’s skinny and I’m not.” “He’s rich and I’m not.” “Why are they happy and I’m not?”

And then, of course, members in this club feel bad for having these thoughts and feelings! Because they truly are caring, loving people.

Do you fit this description?

I thought so! It’s my pleasure and honor to welcome you to the club!

Now, I also wanted to let you know about an exclusive opportunity to join a NEW club (this club is invite-only, no fees and you can’t buy, talk or sneak your way in…)

The New (even more exclusive) Club

The way you join this new club is really quite simple. Just take a few minutes to read its principles below and, voila! You’re in!

In this new club, everything in your life works perfectly. There’s no such thing as things going “wrong” because the concept doesn’t even exist in this club.

The members in this club are huge on forgiveness, accepting themselves as they are, changing from a place of self-love, not self-loathing.

The members of this club are huge on cutting themselves some slack, as well as others.

Here are two of the founding principles this club works on (more to come in the future):

1. You’re amazing and doing just as well as everyone around you. No, you’re not losing or falling behind. You’re perfect the way you are.

One of the challenges that some of our modern technology brings, particularly Facebook, is that people look around at other people’s lives, see them smiling in pictures, read about their accomplishments, read about the amazing things they’re doing and then say, “I’m not doing enough.” or even worse, “I’m not enough.”

Instagram logoFifty years ago, we just tried to keep up with the Joneses, our neighbors, the people around us. And while that was bad enough, now most of us are trying to keep up with the hundreds or thousands of people we see on Facebook, Twitter, or other places online.

It’s not a healthy habit. 🙂

Someone out there is always going to be doing something cool, amazing, ground-breaking, or just seem like they’re having more fun than we are, and we need to cheer them on without casting judgment on ourselves.

I know it’s easier said than done. It’s almost human nature (I say “almost” because I think you can move beyond it) to compare ourselves to others.

The same goes when you compare yourself to the “gurus” out there who are teaching you new concepts, ideas, and ways of being. Trust me, I’ve met the gurus, and they’re just as human as you are.

Are they amazing people doing great work in the world? Yes, they are. Do they have challenges just like you do? Absolutely.

It’s ok to get excited about someone, to follow their message, even to put them up on a pedestal a little bit as someone to admire and strive to be like. That’s ok, AS LONG AS… when you put them up on a pedestal, you’re not putting YOURSELF down. Does that make sense? It’s a subtle distinction but an important one.

2. Some New, Very Advanced, Setup Phrases.

For me personally, one of the most powerful elements of EFT is the setup phrase, “Even though I ___ (fill in the blank with the problem, emotion, belief, etc.), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Just doing that tapping by itself can have profound results, as we acknowledge that we’re ok, as we are. We bring forth and speak how we feel, what we believe, and then let ourselves know, “Hey bud, that’s OK.”

In a society where we are keeping up with the Joneses on Facebook, where we are told by the media that we’re not skinny enough, rich enough, smart enough, or happy enough, this acknowledgment, along with the physical tapping, can be extremely powerful.

I’ve formulated some new setup phrases for you to experiment with. Be careful, they’re powerful, members-only phrases and they might result in extreme joy, peace, and self-loving.

Pick an issue that has been bothering you, or a general feeling you’ve been having recently, or a belief that keeps coming up. The more specific you are, the better results you’ll get on that issue. But being general is ok here too.

I’m going to use the general feeling of “stress” for our examples.

(If you need help with the tapping points or a general description of the process, click here)

Start tapping on the karate chop point. (Usually, we do three setup statement on the karate chop points, we’re going to do several more this time)

Karate Chop:

Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…
And even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…
Even though I’ve been stressing for so long, and I don’t know how to stop, I’m finding new, easy ways to change this pattern now…
And even though stress is what I do, I find myself doing something else now!
Even though I’m so used to stressing, beating myself up, finding what’s wrong with me, I’m taking a time out from that self-abusive behavior, and choosing to love myself right now…

Normally, we’d go on to tapping a shorter reminder phrase for every point, i.e. eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, under the mouth, collarbone, under the arm, and top of the head…

But I’d like for you to try tapping through each point, saying all the phrases above, again and again.

So tap the eyebrow point and say: Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…

And then the side of the eye: Even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…

And keep going… again and again, until you take such a deep breath and feel soooooooo good that you think it’s a good time to stop.

(make sure you do this tapping NOW, there’s no better time! Just take 10 minutes!)

Or download our free app and try one of the free tapping meditations to get you started!

Download The Tapping Solution App today!

This Just In… Breaking News!

Wow, just got word… this is exciting indeed… you, yes, YOU, have been formally accepted into this new club.

You’ve done it! Congratulations! Well done! I really felt like you’ve deserved this spot for years. I guess it just took a little while for you to figure out you deserved it too.

I’m sure you’re experiencing some of the club privileges already… you know, all that self-love, self-acceptance, joy, peace, and other fun stuff.

It’s an honor and a deep privilege for me to be in this club with you. I hereby place you on a pedestal.

What’s that you say? Oh, you’d like to put me on a pedestal as well? Why, that’s very kind of you… oh, I see, we’re now BOTH up on a pedestal AND eye to eye.

Very smart of you…

I look forward to seeing you at our next club meeting! Until then…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Attention New Club Members: Share your experience, comments, and thoughts below! Note: Exclusive club members are so full of joy, self-love and positive emotions that they’re just bursting to share it on the blog with others – just FYI 🙂

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93 Comments on this post

  1. Jeannie says:

    Dear Nick, Jessica
    On your blog can you PLEASE increase the size of the font.
    It is extremely hard to read on my phone as I am elderly ..
    This adds stress of not only working out what you have said .. but then remembering it ..
    it gets disheartening and adds to a sense of helplessness when one is aged as well as in severe pain all over after spinal cord injury and neck fusions which limit ability to text ..
    Unfortunately we are not all quick learners, tech savvy or have good memories. I keep coming back ..
    I hope you can help.
    Namaste ?

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Jeannie! Thanks for your suggestion. I’ll certainly see what I can do. I believe there is also a way to magnify the font on your computer screen. If you go into the Windows or Mac settings (depending on what computer you have), there should be an option to make the text larger for everything. 🙂

  2. Vicki says:

    Thank you so much. This is helping me get some deep problems worked out. I appreciate all you are doing.

  3. Miriam Ruberl says:

    I have been stressing ie ruminating about an issue for 2 years pretty much all the time, and hey presto, tapping I find that I am using this situation to attack myself ie be wrong and bad for even stressing about it !! Have been verbalising my “problem” to a couple of friends, trying to sort MYSELF out, and saying “I know I am the problem here” and still did not hear it as an attack on myself ! Not that the other person or the situation are problems instead of me. Just another aspect of my default setting of self-blame. Well that can go, and with tapping a lot of it is seriously weakened !! Thanks for the club membership Nick, am in great company !

  4. Celeste says:

    I know EFT should work .. but so far had no pain or stress relief – continual v high spinal and nerve pain affects most of my body – including burning and acute sensitivity to touch (even air flow).
    I have both Nick’s books, saved EFT on YT and scripts/articles across the web ..
    Tried EFT many times ..
    BUT my fingertips remain sensitive to touch/pressure => tapping spikes pain UP!
    I have cervical spinal cord damage .. plus upper/lower spine injury – from car accidents decades ago.
    Nick or Jessica can you please suggest a way around thia ?
    (I have published healing research .. and I am an experienced practitioner, I have no answer for this)

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Celeste. We are sorry to hear you aren’t getting the results you are looking for. Many people have found success either sending breath to each tapping point or visualizing sending energy to each tapping point as opposed to actually doing the physical tapping so you may want to try one of those techniques so you are not creating more pain with the physical act of tapping. Have you tapped on the memories of the car accidents that have caused the pain? Often, as we go back through those memories and also explore other things going on in our lives at that time, we can tap to release the negative charge on those and find some relief. Here are a couple of other resources you might find helpful:, If you haven’t yet worked with a practitioner, that could really help. Working with someone else can help you explore different aspects and memories at the core of the pain that you may not have explored already on your own. Here is a link to the practitioner listings on our site if you are interested: We wish you all the best!

  5. JC says:

    EXATLY what I needed RIGHT NOW! Thank you thank you thank you ?

  6. Patti says:

    Thank you for that
    I thought that I was the only one that was feeling this way
    It is a horrible feeling
    You pretty well summed it up
    The reason I have been following you and Jessica
    is because you seem so down to earth and caring
    I needed this right now …with the holiday’s
    coming up these negative feelings just intensify
    Thank you again
    Patti ?

  7. Maria Gallo says:

    Thank you Nick!

  8. Julie says:

    I downloaded a book on this along time ago, but never put into practice! Until recently, I have a fused back, Arthritis chronic pain!
    One thing I make myself do regardless of my pain is walk, this day was bad… So I thought why not try it???? It WORKED! I don’t know how or the Y of it but it does! Praise Jesus!

  9. Mary dunn says:

    I was feeling very alone in my stressed sorry opinion of myself. Thanks for taking me to a different place as a member of The Club”!!!!!

  10. Marie-France says:

    Hi, i’m french canadian so sorry about the writings. I just want to share something that’s amasing for me. Even thought i don’t feel necessery the emotion of what i’m taping for, i can see results! That’s great, for me, but also a good news for ma clients. I’m a well trainend practitionner in EMDR and EFT is a very softer way to help people heal. And thank you for those greats méditations that i’m doing almost every day to help me focus. Your work is amasing. thank’s again.

  11. Laura Sainte says:

    Very funny ! and most of all uplifting. Brilliant ! Thank you, Nick ! I’ll keep this in mind.

  12. Kelly mobley says:

    Wow! I look forward to this. My first experience tonight. Thank you!

  13. Rita says:

    with every tapping session, I feel better and better. When I try tapping by myself, I never know what phrase to use for different situations. I’m hoping this will just come naturally as I continue. Thank you for all you do to help us.

  14. Connie says:

    Hi!! This was exactly what I needed to read today. I felt a shift. I was smiling from ear to ear when reading that I am now a member of this prestigious club…;) Thank You!! <3 Keep on Tapping On 🙂

  15. Shawna says:

    Thanks Nick. I really needed to do this today 🙂

  16. Cecilia says:

    I like this article very much. I’m feeling very depressed lately. So I’m trying this to feel better
    Thank you nick

  17. Marie Killian says:

    Nick. This is a fantastic exercise, a much needed find for me this morning and I am sososo grateful for you and all you do and be. <3 Words cannot say enough guy but I am thankful.

  18. Orlane Heaney Regnault says:

    Thank you Nick, I have been using EFT for a short time and I have already started benefiting from it. My therapist has lended me your new book and I would recommend it to anyone. I am going to buy it for myself very soon. It is well written and easy to ready and so informative.

  19. melissa says:

    You’re writing is so creative and compelling. Thank you:)

  20. aLICIA says:

    I´m 84 years old. I live alone, but I feel really fine. I had many troubles in my life. but I´ve overcome everything. Life isn´t easy when we ignore that our history is important to be known. Now I´m a happy person.

  21. Pam says:

    Thank you so much for this post Nick. It’s absolutely just what I needed right now

  22. Clara Wiebe says:

    Hi Nick,
    I followed your tapping today and when it came to not abusing myself it really hit me and I kept
    tapping. I have not been tapping long and I really do want to see results. I didn’t expect to get so emotional. I hope I can begin to love myself.
    I appreciate the insight I’m getting from you.

  23. Richard Brook says:

    I’ve been tapping for over six months and my financial situation has exponentially got progressively worse.

    Sorry if you were expecting something more positive.

    I’ve also tried “Creative Visualization, NLP, Psycho Cybernetics and Quantum Physics!

    So, obviously I must be doing summat wrong!

    BTW: I don’t believe that money is the root of all evil and never have done. I do believe that there is abundance of wealth for everyone to share. I don’t believe that wealthy people are necessarily bad any more than poor people are bad.

    I don’t believe I am undeserving of a share in the abundant wealth of the Universe because if I had it I could share it around!

    So, what is it that I don’t get that’s blocking me!

    What’s the problem?

  24. Sandra Simões says:

    Hi Nick!
    It sounds like magic! I had a personal problem, and I just did the tapping for 10 minutes and i am feeling much, much better… thank you!
    Sandra from Brazil

  25. Dr.Edna Rosenthal says:

    This tapping treatment is great and I began to use it together with my treatments in Acupuncture and Herbs and some other treatment like muscletesting etc. and those who use now in addition this technic of tapping are very pleased and happy, that they can take active part on their traetment, thanks a lot, Dr. Edna Rosenthal

    Beside this: I changed my mail because my former mail was abused!!!!

  26. Daniel Lombardi says:

    Hi Nick,
    Great post as always. Principal no. 1 “You’re amazing and doing just as well as everyone around you. You’re not losing. You’re not falling behind. You’re perfect.” in my opinion this is the most difficult part of all. Learning to love yourself is a hard task, but when one master it he can achieve it all. It all starts within us.

    Thank you so very much for everything you do.
    Have a wonderful day!

  27. Rose says:

    Excellent blog post thanks Nick. The other day I tapped along singing my favourite songs all the way to work , music up loud and tapping madly. I had a fantastic day. Tap on everything even songs (Make them uplifting ones)

  28. Eila says:

    Hi Nick,

    Thanks for all your great tapping advice. I always enjoy finding new ways to solve issues.
    I feel like telling you about my own experience with tapping. I’v done a basic course in tapping and feel that I have a desent basic knowledge. Still I often didn’t get any results. Frustrated I finally consulted my kinesiologist (not sure if that’s the correct titel in english) and with her help I found out that tapping does not always work for me (not a surprise to me). It only works when the outcome is in line with the wishes of my soul. Maybe it sounds weird as I was told that tapping ALWAYS works. But there you go.
    When I tap on other people it always works.
    Maybe others have similiar experience, if so I’d love to hear about it.
    Have a great day

  29. Elissa Rattigan says:

    Thank you so much, Nick. You and jessica are wonderful people.
    All the best,

  30. julie says:

    Just another great session, thanks Nick-your great.

  31. Clay says:

    Thanks Nick.
    This is great I love it I do releasing every day and with tapping now
    there is nothing to stop us.We are all here to have happyness with no sorrow,
    Thanks Clay

  32. Kerri Hale says:

    Thank you !!! I am a PROUD member of the club xoxo

  33. judy says:

    Dear Nick,
    Sounds redundant but thank you so much for the positive vibes you send out to everyone. Great to hear and be reminded that we are all great in our own way!!

  34. karin says:

    I’m in the club and I love this tap. perfect. YES! to the FB comparing. In case anyone reads this, my FB wall is full of humor, good stories, encouragement, my cats, photos I take when out. The truth? I have severe ME/CFS/FM and more for decades, NO! I haven’t succeeded at my dreams from my pre-illness life and NO! I don’t and won’t give up….. I live a life people have called a shame and a sin but guess what? people r still jealous of me!!!…. and I tap and so appreciate receiving e-mails from energy filled folk like you Nick! ty!!!

  35. Yvette says:

    Dear Nick,
    I did it right away and I am feeling so much lighter. Once again, thank you very much. Lots of love and God bless you

  36. Tavia says:

    Thank you, Nick!! This is just what I needed, right now! I love the idea of doing a full statement, including the self acceptance at the end, on all tapping points, along with the desired outcome. It helps me to feel, more-so, the love that I have for myself, and establish more clearly in my mind the outcome that I DO want—which is a very, very needed shift for me to make!

    Thank you for all you do and have done to get EFT out there and easily available to the masses!! It has completely turned my life around in profound ways. I must add that my discovery of EFT was a direct answer to many heartfelt prayers to my Father in Heaven. Thank you!

  37. George says:

    So true…interesting, effective and so easy for everyone to do!
    Thank you -:)

  38. Simona says:

    I am very happy to know that you take good care of your members.
    Thank you for caring!

  39. Clare says:

    Thanks Nick. It really helps to start with something as simple as this. I tried this straight away as I am feeling so stressed this evening and discovered something very interesting. I inadvertently used the word ‘love’ instead of ‘life’ in the set up statement and immediately the stress vanished! When I went back to saying ‘life’ the stress returned and I gradually reduced it and each round uncovered another layer to be tapped. I shall keep going and experimenting! Bless you and thank you, Clare

  40. muriel says:

    Hi Nick,
    thanks so much for sharing your amazing insights and the tapping SOLUTION !!!! Really a solution ! I’ve gone through this winter so far with no cold ! and with an almost good back ! and still getting better! And today’s little reminder is just what I needed before the coming week appears !!! loads of love from France and thanks again ! Muriel

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