Inspiration

The brink of a meltdown… (Tapping for stress)

Written by: Nick Ortner

The Tapping Solution Book - Stress ChapterI thought I’d give you a sneak peek into the inside of The Tapping Solution book, being released on April 2nd and already a #1 Amazon bestseller for Stress Management. Here’s a short section from Chapter 3 that you might enjoy. 🙂


The Tapping Solution – Chapter 3
Relieving Anxiety, Feelings of Being Overwhelmed, and Stress 
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Claire was on the brink of a meltdown . . . not that anyone around her could tell.To the outside world, she was put together, happy; she had a good job, great kids, and a decent relationship with her husband. She was a loving, conscientious person, trying to make a difference in the world. In touch with her desire to improve herself and her life, Claire was aware of what she ate, thought, and did. She worked on herself, tried to lower her stress levels, and tried to be positive. But somehow, something was missing.
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It started innocently enough: weird pains in her body. Her doctors could find no medical explanation. She had trouble sleeping through the night, had a general feeling of fatigue during the day, was carrying extra pounds she couldn’t get rid of, no matter what she tried, and had an underlying feeling of anxiety and angst that just wouldn’t release.

When she found the space to breathe and examine her life, all she could think was, It’s too much.

It’s too much responsibility. There are too many things to do. There’s too much financial pressure. It’s too much to take care of the kids and be a great parent. It’s too much to try to be a loving wife. It’s too much to eat perfectly. It’s too much to look good, feel good, and keep up with the Joneses.

Modern life, with all its stressors—all the stuff we are intimately familiar with and know about—was overwhelming to her.

Sound familiar?

What’s “too much” in your life? What’s stressing you out the most? What do you feel like you just can’t handle? What physical symptoms are showing up in your body?

Feelings of generalized anxiety, being overwhelmed, fatigue, and intense responsibility have become par for the course in modern life. “This is just the way life is,” we tell ourselves. “It’s hurried; it’s busy; there’s one thing after another, each stacking on top of the next, to the point where sometimes it’s hard to breathe.”

You know those times when you do take a deep breath? Try it now, and see what you find. The realization may run something like this: Wow, I’ve been so stressed out. My body is running on overdrive, and I haven’t noticed it. When was the last time I actually relaxed?

We have developed patterns, ways of being and thinking, that simply do not serve us and are not sustainable. That’s why we get unknown pains in our bodies; it’s also why we come down with medical conditions that can be more easily blamed on biological problems like viruses, bacteria, or other outside forces. These patterns are why we walk around feeling stressed, anxious, and uncomfortable. They’re why we have trouble sleeping and why we can’t drop the weight we want to. That’s why we feel like there’s too much to do, like the stress will never end. It’s why we can’t be present in the moment or enjoy our lives.

Some of my clients argue that it’s not their way of thinking or being that’s the problem—the problem is life itself!

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They say to me, “I could be happy if such and such changed” or “I would be happy if I had less to do” or “I would be happy if I had more money” or “I would be happy if I lost weight.” Many of us simply believe that, until those things happen, we are not going to be happy.

Well, I’ve got some bad news. (I know, I’m just piling it on, right? The good news is coming, I promise!) The only way you’re going to have more money, lose weight, be healthier, and feel more fulfilled is if you first change your patterns and ways of thinking. You must find a way to lower your stress levels, process your negative emotions, let go of the past, and stop repeating negative patterns. Only from there can you create the life you’ve truly dreamed of.

There was a time when this kind of stress reduction and pattern change might have seemed like a tall or impossible order, but now EFT tapping can make it all happen quickly.

In the first chapter, we saw the amazing effects that tapping can have on the body on a purely physical level, in terms of reducing the fight-or-flight response and calming the amygdala. The same goes for your emotional world. When you apply tapping to your existing patterns, beliefs, and emotions, your life changes almost instantly. It did for Claire—in seemingly miraculous ways, as you’ll see on the following pages—and it can for you, too.

“Nothing Ever Works . . .”

When I began chatting with Claire about her life and everything that was going on, one of the first things she shared with me was her frustration about all the stress-reduction methods she had tried in the past, from yoga, to meditation, to affirmations, to positive thinking. She had a deep belief that, for her, “nothing ever worked.” When we’ve been on a path of self-discovery and self-improvement for a few years and haven’t seen the results we expected or were promised, it can be extremely frustrating! But that frustration—and the expectation of another negative outcome—is exactly what can keep us stuck. Oftentimes, we pile that frustration on top of negative feelings about ourselves and about our commitment to making change happen.

I know what I should be doing, but I never do it.

I’ve tried other techniques, but they don’t seem to work.

It seems to work for other people, but it doesn’t work for me.

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I always start down a path, but never finish it. (We’re going to change that pattern right now, so you can finish this book!)

It’s important to clear this frustration, to clear your anxiety that the personal development techniques you try won’t work. It’s in this clearing that you open yourself up to new possibilities. Otherwise the mind-set that “nothing ever works” or the belief that “I never finish what I start” will keep manifesting. And then you won’t finish this book—even though the life breakthrough you’re looking for might be in Chapter 9! Or you might read every word but not do the actual tapping, which is where all the magic lies.

So let’s do some tapping right now to clear these negative expectations.

Tapping Script
 

“Nothing Ever Works . . .”
The Tapping PointsYou’ll find throughout this book that I’ve made tapping scripts available for a variety of issues. All of them start with a “check-in” phrase, to determine if it’s something you need to work on.

For example, this script’s check-in phrase is I’m frustrated because nothing ever works for me. Go ahead and say that out loud a few times, and then rate how true it is on the 0-to-10 scale, with 10 being “absolutely true” and 0 being “not at all true.” Generally speaking, if your truth level is a 5 or more, it’s probably an issue you want to work on right away.

Remember, these are general phrases and ideas to get you started. If different language fits better for you, or if other ideas come up, feel free to follow your intuition.

Karate Chop: Even though I’m frustrated because nothing ever works for me, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to start something and not finish it, I deeply love and accept myself.
Karate Chop: Even though I’m anxious because nothing seems to work for me, I choose to relax now.

Eyebrow: Nothing ever works . . .
Side of Eye: All this frustration . . .
Under Eye: I’m frustrated because nothing works for me . . .
Under Nose: I’ve tried so many different things . . .
Chin: And nothing ever works . . .

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Collarbone: This probably won’t work . . .
Under Arm: This probably won’t work for me . . .
Top of Head: All this frustration . . .

Eyebrow: Nothing ever works . . .
Side of Eye: I start things and don’t finish them . . .
Under Eye: I’m anxious to try anything else . . .
Under Nose: Because I have so many experiences of things not working . . .
Chin: It works for other people . . .
Collarbone: But not for me . . .
Under Arm: All this frustration . . .
Top of Head: All this anxiety and frustration.

And now let’s do a positive round. (Remember, go on to the positive statements only when you feel relief or if the statements feel at least somewhat true. Don’t force the positive; keep tapping on what’s stopping you or bothering you until the positive feels more natural. If during a positive round your mind says, “I don’t believe you!” or “That’s not true!” then you probably need to go back to the negative beliefs until they clear.)

Eyebrow: I choose to be open to the possibility that this can work . . .
Side of Eye: I choose to release any frustration in my body . . .
Under Eye: Things have worked for me before . . .
Under Nose: I have made lots of positive changes . . .
Chin: And I choose to make more . . .
Collarbone: I choose to believe in my ability to change . . .
Under Arm: I choose to release any frustration or anxiety in my body . . .
Top of Head: Letting it go . . . letting it all go.

Identifying Cognitive Shifts and the “Apex Effect”

After doing this tapping script and bringing down her frustration, Claire went on to say, “You know what? That’s not true that nothing ever works. I’ve had a lot of successes and have really changed my life a lot in the past couple of years. I’m hopeful that this tapping can help even more.”

What had happened in the few minutes since Claire had told me, “Nothing ever works for me”? Had she been lying before? Did she change her mind in those few minutes?

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What happened is that before, she was running a pattern and belief system that said, “Nothing ever works for me.” Her brain and body were pulling up all those negative experiences from the past—all those mini traumas where she had let herself down, hadn’t forgiven herself, and hadn’t processed the experience. These experiences had created a limiting belief that she could not get past. By tapping on her feelings of frustration and on the story she was telling herself, we cleared the old thought pattern and allowed a new belief to spring forward.

When we use EFT on these feelings and experiences, a cognitive shift takes place that allows us to see more clearly, to reduce the noise in our head and in our body. Oftentimes, the shift is so profound that people almost don’t remember what they thought before. As I said before, EFT isn’t a mind eraser; it doesn’t delete memories in any way, but it does clear the negative emotional and energetic patterns behind a memory. Thus it changes our approach and response to the event—and to life going forward.

At the most extreme level, this shift is called the “Apex Effect.” The Apex Effect happens when a person’s thought patterns shift so dramatically that they don’t credit tapping as having made a difference. Some even say the belief was never a problem in the first place! Someone can be scared of spiders, tap to clear it, and then say they were never scared, because their mind has shifted so far from the fear that it doesn’t seem real in their life anymore. This is one of the reasons it’s always important to use the 0-to-10 scale after each round of tapping. It allows you to accurately gauge your progress and remember where you started.

Identifying Your Patterns

Throughout this book, we will explore your patterns regarding all sorts of major life topics, including weight loss, relationships, finances, and so forth. In this chapter, however, we’re going to continue to address the more generalized patterns—the limiting belief systems and habits that are contributing to the stress in your life. Stress itself is both the symptom and the cause of most of the challenges we face on a daily basis. Obviously, stress isn’t pleasurable. It wreaks havoc on our body, raising cortisol levels (which helps put and keep weight on), blood pressure, blood sugar, and more. But beyond that, the stress response itself often leads to more stressful situations. For example, if stress is triggered by a colleague in a business meeting, you might then go home and take that stress out on the kids or your partner. The cycle continues.

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22 Comments on this post

  1. Mary Cody says:

    I want to tell you that my daughter’S dog, Millie, loves tapping. She sits and seemS completely happy. Sometime I believe that dogs are smarter than we are. They are not all messed up with life and react naturally. Thanks I am just like my daughter’s dog. I do feel the importance of what I am doing, Tapping.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Thanks for sharing, Mary! Animals have meridian points very similar to humans, and there are even EFT practitioners that work with animals to help them release stress and past traumas. 🙂

  2. Lacey says:

    Back in school, I’m doing so much leinrang.

  3. Christiane Tsouo-Harvey says:

    Great writing, easy to follow instruction Nick.

    When will the book hit the French market?

  4. Cynthia says:

    I love tapping it has helped me in so many areas of my life and when I share with my family and they say something like there was a shift I smile…My hope is to learn more and be able to help more people here in NC

  5. Anne Warwick says:

    I am absolutely loving the tapping and having great results. Many thanks for this natural therapy, your book and the tapping summit. I love it! Much love and gratitude. Anne

  6. Henrietta Decosta says:

    Nick, thank you for your ongoing unstinting efforts to make us realise how simple and yet deep is this tapping technique. The different case studies you have shared has deepened my convictions of the results of the technique and of your genuinely magnanimous efforts to reach out to many as possible so generously. It is like sharing something you value so much with as many as you can of humanity.
    I have been using it and it has helped me alot by way of it’s honest verbalisation of one’s specific issue, (a kind of acceptance of my reality as of now), a kind of trust and surrender to heal/change/gain etc and a kind of emotioanl settlingthrough tapping on the meridians and awakening the amygdala (as has been explained)
    It seems as though your aim is to spread Wellness,Happiness,Acceptance, Health, Prosperity etc.
    Thank you very much to you and your team.May you aim always continue to be to awaken Happiness Peace and Harmony in us all.
    Henrietta

  7. hoo.com says:

    Thank you nick for the excerpt from your book. I am waiting to purchase your book as soon as it is available. I’ve had anxiety all of my life and hop at long last to find something that will help. Thank you.

  8. Danielle says:

    Ever since I discovered tapping it has changed my life. I can’t say dramatically because I honestly don’t use it all the time but I will start using it more frequently now and in the future.

    Many blessings,

    Danielle

  9. Cindy Lou says:

    Fabulous story. I know it can’t happen for me.

  10. Iris flores says:

    Are you think ing on print it in spanish , I’m a teachear and these techics
    Will help them I’m doing tapping and i ve seen things on diferent perspective
    And in believe it
    Thank you
    Tell me if i can have a n electronic sample

  11. maria rodriguez says:

    my eternal gratitude for people like you, Nicolas, who shares your knowledge and support in such a kind manner.

  12. Zahariuc says:

    Thank you for the excerpts, it is clear for me now, what doesn’t works in my understanding of my problems. Thank you again. Carmen from Romania.

  13. Marguerite says:

    I’ve been tapping for about a month now and I am sleeping better most nights. I’m much nicer at work and my stress level has started to come down. I have more energy and instead of falling asleep in front of the TV I now am getting things done around the house after working all day.
    I’m going to be having surgery and I am planning on using tapping to help me through the process. I am so glad that I was led to this program. I know I would be having a lot more stress with the surgery coming up if I didn’t have tapping to help. Thank you Marguerite

  14. Jackie says:

    Feel so self-conscious doing tapping – even in front of my husband. Help!

  15. Mary Ann says:

    Nick,
    You are such a tease! I cannot wait to get the book. I appreciate your regular emails reminding me to get back to tapping. I am still trying to make it a daily habit whether i need it or not. My new tapping place is in the shower each a.m.
    Looking forward to the book! Thank you for all you do! MAP

  16. Willena Flewelling says:

    Tapping has come a long way since I first learned about it 10 years ago. I always wondered how it could work if I didn’t believe the positive statement I needed to believe. You give a great balance of the negative to the positive. Thank you!

    Willena Flewelling

  17. SANDRA RODRIGUEZ says:

    MUCHAS GRACIAS POR ENSEÑARNOS A DISFRUTAR LA VIDA, Y GOZARLA EN SU MAYOR PLENITUD,

  18. Annerose von Lieres says:

    I so look forward to receiving your book.

  19. Karen says:

    Thank you, Nick, for this exerpt. I ordered your book and can’t wait to receive it. I am having many of the symptoms that Claire’s story suggests. I’m not sleeping well and have been waking with terrible headaches. Before The Tapping World Summit I would get up and take a couple of headache relief tablets that would do nothing for me and I could not get back to sleep. Now if I wake with these headaches I breathe and tap until they are gone or diminished enough so that I fall asleep. I want to keep learning and to keep trying to make this more a part of my everyday.
    Happy day!

  20. David says:

    EFT is a very usefull tool for reprogramming the subconciouse, but applied with meditation or even self hypnosis, it then takes a real demand in your thoughts, speech,actions and life.

  21. Joanna says:

    Thank you Nick for this excerpt of your book, which I am sooo looking forward to buy as soon as it’s available here in France.
    It’s nice to have the excerpts in the meantime.
    I’m going to do a round of tapping right now!
    Many blessings to you and the whole Tapping crew.

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