4 Things to Let Go of This Holiday Season

Written by: Nick Ortner

Most everyone likes to receive gifts during the holidays. It’s a way of letting us know that someone is thinking about us and how much they care.

You can do the same for yourself as well, but the best gifts may not be something you receive, but rather something you give away.

Here are FOUR things that you might want to let go of this holiday season. If you do, it’ll add to your joy and happiness. 🙂

1. Your need to be right 

People are guaranteed to annoy, upset, or bother you. It’s likely because of something they do or say that you think at some level is “wrong”. Let go of that need and watch your happiness expand.

How this plays out in real life:
Love them before anything else. And then love them again and again. And then they’ll say something else that annoys you, and then love them even more..

2. Your need to fix those you love 

It comes from a beautiful, loving, empathetic place, but it doesn’t help anyone. This does not mean you can’t care, educate, inspire, or otherwise look to move the people you love from where they are to where you can imagine them being.

But that’s the difference. IMAGINE their greatness first, don’t look at everything that’s wrong and try to fix them. (I mean, has that strategy EVER worked…)

How this plays out in real life: 
Imagine those you love as you know they can be. Imagine their greatness, their healing, their peace. Watch them transform and perhaps most importantly, watch your relationship with them transform..

3. Your need to be perfect 

Just as we try to fix others, we believe that as we strive for “perfection” we will “fix” ourselves. First off, you’re never going to be perfect. That’s guaranteed.

Second, there’s nothing to fix. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and your striving for more, for a better version of yourself, is how it will always be. The striving is good. The beating yourself up is not.

How this plays out in real life: 
You are going to do or not do, say or not say something, and you’re going to hear your brain beating you up a bit…

At that moment, that’s when you have to love yourself just like you love those people that annoy you.

I know, it’s kind of a running theme here – the whole lotta love thing – but it works!

Try it and tell me otherwise. So love yourself and remind yourself, “Hey, you’re doing the best you can, a little slack and a little love please!”.

4. Your old fear, guilt or shame, anger or blame, sadness or pain 

OLD is the operative word here. Chances are you’ve been carrying this and other negative emotions around for a long time. Chances are also that you’ve buried them deep because guess what, they’re not fun to feel. I get that.

It’s a good strategy to bury them deep when there is no other alternative, but now there is. Use a tool (EFT Tapping is my favorite, of course) to safely unearth those old emotions and let them go once and for all.

How this plays out in real life:
We often run too fast to feel anything. And we think we’re too busy to do anything about these old emotions. But guess what, they’re the ones actually running the show and draining you of your life force.

Truly, every negative emotion or event that is still active, that still has a “charge” is sapping your mental, physical, and spiritual energy. Pay attention to where these emotions might be lurking, coax them out, and then let them go.

Even if it’s just ONE a day, or once a week, once a month, start feeling safe feeling them and feeling safe letting them go.

Before you go…

The holidays can often go one of two ways:

They can be a time of love and connection, peace and hope, joy and laughter, or they can be busy and rushed, they can magnify all the old pains and hurts we’ve felt with our families, making all the places we haven’t healed feel raw and wounded.

Now, just as we aren’t perfect, these two ways don’t mean it’s all one or the other. We just want to keep tipping the scales to the former. We just want to keep doing the work so love and connection shine. So peace and hope spring forth. So joy and laughter bubble out of us.

And do you know the most magical moment that you can create during this holiday season?

Do you know the moment in time that I want you to look out for?

The place where, if you pay close enough attention to yourself and to what is happening around you, everything can change.

What is that moment?

It’s when you find yourself feeling “right” and angry, annoyed, or indignant. And when you notice you’re trying to “fix” things and you can’t stop seeing everything you wish would change…

It’s when you’re beating up yourself for not being perfect, and then beating up yourself more because I told you not to…

It’s when you’re starting to feel old fear, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, or pain…

That moment in time when you notice what is happening… and you PAUSE.

And you tap. Or you breathe. Or you just silently say to yourself,

“How interesting. Look where I was going…
but now I’m making a different choice.”

Suddenly, you love them more, and you let go. And you love yourself more. At that moment. That space that you found, that space that you notice. More and more love. And more and more letting go. And with that love, you usher all the pain away. You usher all those old patterns away. Shoo, shoo! Only love here my friends, only love.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Happy Holidays everyone, wishing you LOVE.

Which of the four things do you most want to let go of? Comment below!

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77 Comments on this post

  1. Tom says:

    Thanks Nick! Awesome food for the soul,

  2. Chuol says:

    Thank you so much for the wonderful inspiration.I want to let go all of them starting from today.

    I wish you a Happy Merry Christmas with your family.

  3. Sanae Risma Fujita says:

    How nice to learn the tapping solution.
    Healthy,Happy,Gratitude and to know the truth.
    The truth will set you free.
    When I lost my lovely dog, Susie in the beginning of this year, thank you so much for your comment, indeed.
    I met a new wonderful puppy and gave myself as a Christmas gift. Named her “Shareline”.
    To reach heaven with soul line to share LOVE.
    Happy Holidays. “Omedetoh” in Japanese.

  4. Mary says:

    You are the best! Merry Christmas to all the Ortners.

  5. Bonnie says:

    Thank you Nick. So well said?? I am letting go of being so hard on myself and noticing more love. Thank you for this great reminder. I really appreciate your words and you wonderful tapping app. Merry Christmas ❤️?

  6. Lois says:

    This is so lovely, Nick! A true Christmas gift. One of your best pieces of writing and you are a great writer. Many blessings to you and your family!

  7. Carine says:

    Just what i needed to hear/read. Thank you so much and merry Christmas

  8. Kerstin says:

    Thank you so much for your meditations and your words.
    The reminders always come at the right moment and help and support me.

    Merry Chrismas to you All ???

  9. Annette Bland says:

    Thank you Nick, I needed that.

  10. Sonia says:

    I Channell the “Physical Group” (1 of many) They help us humans when we let go of what is no longer for our Highest Good to completely remove it from our Being(all 5 bodies). All of us were born with a coupling around our navels so they could hook up the extraction hose when the time was right & extract all we choose & give permission to release. Nothing can hide in cracks or crevices from their extraction machine. Tapping gives us the full ability to bring to our conscious level that which has hidden for who knows how many lifetimes. Thanks Nick for the Tapping Tool which is the Bridge to releasing
    Physically ( Completion ) & Soul level ( Closure ) Soul level is for all time & space, the book is closed!! Blessings, Sonia Swartley

  11. Yasmin says:

    Thanx Nick, got the message Beautifully put. Accepting circumstances and situations as they are, even yourself. Happy Holidays!!

  12. Beatrice says:

    Thank you so much. It’s eye opening.

  13. Diane says:

    I’m in process of letting go of judgments of others when they fail to meet my expectations… even the behaviors of others that are hurtful or thoughtless. Instead of taking it personally and reactively judging them, I’m practicing feeling compassion for them because it’s likely the person may not know any better or be caught up in their own painful emotions and sense of feeling ripped off on some level by others. I see stuff being projected onto me that doesn’t have anything to do with me but rather their own crystallized wounds. Maybe they can’t separate their experience of the past from present. Anyway, seeing the bigger picture sure helps and saves a lot of hurt feelings. Thank you for your beautiful post. I will be sharing it this season and into 2019. Diane

  14. Neptune says:

    Appreciate your mails and wisdom. Touched by love you
    give. I do see that love in your eyes.
    May god’ blessings be upon you and yours.

  15. Nancy Sager says:

    I am 74 and my Mom taught me this by example! It is the best “gift” she could have ever hoped to pass on to me. I have seen through the years that it works and people respect this and come to me for advice & encouragement because they know I will quietly listen, encourage positivity and empathy.I think my Mom would be so happy that I am happy!

  16. Rosalba Zapata says:

    Merry Christmas to you and your family what a great soul you are!!! I am thankful to have you in my life.?The universe bless you.?

  17. Rebecca says:


  18. deborah says:

    a true christmas gift to sit and reflect with ,, beautifully expressed thank you

  19. Marianne Lyon says:

    Namaste…..what wisdom to hold in my heart today.

  20. joe mccauley says:

    healing IS because Love ❤️. IS …? ? ?…

  21. Lynn Ebury says:

    Hi Nick. Happy Christmas. There’s NOTHING like watching your child’s face when they open their presents on Christmas Day!!! I’m glad you’ve had a good one.
    I LOVE this post. I need to do A TON of tapping for my sister who hasn’t really spoken to me sister to sister since 2012 after a disagreemant. We were ALL in the wrong!!! I stopped being hard on myself and beating myself up a long time ago. THANK YOU for your guidance and for JUST BEING THERE for us all I wish you and ALL the Ortner family a Very Happy New Year.

  22. colleen palmer says:

    I Always love your articles. In this one, which is GREAT, I sure wish you would have included TAPPING FOR THIS…… it all applied and it would have been great to tap the first thing this morning.

  23. Alice Davison says:

    All we have is now. This moment. There is no past, no future. Only now. Therefore anything that happened in the past does not exist now. Be present in the now and see how your thinking changes. This has changed my life and freed me. All that is left is love for others and myself.

  24. Catherine Kiernan says:

    Nick, very in sightful!! Leave my past behind and tap to go forward. One day at a time, especially during the Holidays when family menbers are the hardest crtics of hiw I choose to live my life. To not accept their criticism, and tap for my love for them. Tap for the good in them, and nit to be so hard in myself. Listen to my intuition.
    Thank you

    • Nick Ortner says:

      You got it, Catherine! Remember, family members and friends can only respond from their own level of perception. It’s ok if they don’t understand your life choices because they do not know what you know, and have not seen what you’ve seen. It makes their criticism a little easier to tap on and release knowing that it’s just a lack of understanding and old belief patterns.

  25. Mary Peros says:

    I would love to be able to let go of trying to teach friends to eat healthier (fixing others)
    Beating myself up for not being how others want me to be ((fixing myself) (I really struggle with this one)

  26. Jean Rust says:

    Beautifully said. Thank you. You are absolutely right about loving those who piss us off. This morning, I found myself angry with two people in my life and as I was driving, it hit me to pray for them. As I did, by the time I’d finished my errand and was home (about 1/2 hr) I hadn’t given them another thought – until now, Thanks for that. Just messin’ witcha. Seriously, it works.

  27. Barb says:

    My need to be perfect. The “shoulds”. I should be cleaning house, not spending time with friends. I should be sorting my clothes for donations, not reading your message. Then beating myself up for not getting everything I should have done, done.

  28. Christina Miller says:

    Totally feeling the love in this post! Today is an excellent day to be reminded that LOVE is the core.
    So grateful to read this and get to some tapping to focus on this!
    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

  29. Brigitte says:

    Very empowering and inspiring,just what I needed to be reminded of at this time!

    Thank you very much!

  30. Nancy says:

    Love the article and message
    Thank you!

  31. Name (required) says:

    I Hi Nick want to let go of all 4.

  32. Pat says:

    Just the thing I needed to read this morning, experiencing all of these but as you
    say “working on changing them” for the better, the fixing people is the hardest for me
    especially my nearest and dearest but see why now I need to “Let Go” thanks for
    all the great work you have done, I do the Tapping every day! Wishes for a truly blessed
    Christmas and New Year! Keep up your great work!

  33. Donna says:

    Dear Nick,
    You are such a wise and beautiful “old soul” with a remarkably compassionate and deeply loving and genuine heart. I am so glad I discovered you and your work and recently had the opportunity to see you in person with my daughter at the holistic fair in MA. Over the years, I have increasingly incorporated EFT in my counseling practice and have witnessed its healing power.. The scripts both you and Jessica have developed are gifts. Thank you for providing so much online..

    May your holidays be blessed in equal measure in all that you do and bring to us, the inhabitants of this wondrous planet,
    Donna Guldenstern

  34. Jill says:

    I love the “pause”. It is so true that we often know we are doing these things and yet keep going…the idea of recognizing the moment…stopping-pausing… and rewriting the next few moments will make a huge difference!
    Thank you so much! and Happy Holidays from Hawaii.

  35. Name (required) says:

    To all who read Nick’s messages, I have learned to do my best to be the change I want to see in the world around me. This is 1 of Mahatma Gandhi’s enduring truths that he learned during the loong battle to right the colonial injustices foisted on the people of India under English colonial rule. It helps me to remember what Nick sez – to let go of the need to fix others, esp. at Christmas. I am working on letting go of the if onlys. I choose to consciously let go of the 4 Nick suggests.

    Christ is the reason for the season. I am trying to put & keep my focus on Him, His love & power to heal all. The greatest gift I’ve had in this life is the gift of Faith. Without Him, I am & have nothing!

  36. Judith says:

    So helpful today, and especially as the holiday stresses build. “You are exactly where you are supposed to be ” reminds me of St. Theresa’s prayer, the saint of the little ways. She is represented by roses. Thank you for helping me fear less!

    The morning tapping meditation today from Jessica also started my day off so well!
    Thank you both!

  37. Betty Owen says:

    I’ve been a subscriber of your emails for a long time, Nick, and I have to say that this one tops the list of my favorites! All four of these things to let go of are perfect. I think if one could master these, there’s nothing left to struggle with! Keep up the good work–you’re an inspiration!

  38. Helene Edwards says:

    Letting go of shame, guilt for allowing myself to get into debt. It seems hopeless, that i will be able to pay it all before i go to my eternal home, with the Lord. It’s affecting my health, my family (mother) and my relationship with my husband. Nice article, so true, thank you for that. I wish you, your family and Jessica a very Merry Christmas and a Healthy Prosperous New Year. Hélène

  39. Patricia says:

    Wow, although all of them are so true and necessary, number 2 is just what I need to work on right now, with my famiy!!!!! I realize I’ve been doing the wrong things, having the wrong attitude, and it is so simple to change it!!!!
    Thank you and have a Merry Christmas! with love!

  40. Sandy says:

    Oh my goodness, I LOVE this article, Nick! (Can you tell I got the point? Lol) I do believe it’s one of your best ones yet — well written and straightforward! Everyone needs this advice, and there’s no reason why this can’t be practiced every day, not just during the holidays. Thank you! I will be sharing this.

  41. Beth Hirst says:

    I need to let go of trying to fix someone. This has been heavy on my mind for some time. My boyfriend has had severe depression in the past. He is somewhat better now, but the mental illness is an ongoing challenge. I love what you said about imagining. I see him growing more positive, happy, and forward-looking. Thank you, thank you!

  42. Maria says:

    Thank you Nick. This is wonderful advice. I have been practicing most of these this past year and it has transformed my life! It is a daily practice and some days its easier than others, of course. Reminders are always a great chance to pause and shift, if need be. Happy Holidays!

  43. Sadie says:

    Thanks for the 4 Let Go..I will practicing them in my life with love.
    Thanks for all that you do.
    Happy Holidays to you and your family.

  44. Helen says:

    Perfect timing, and good advice. Thank you. I’ll pay attention to letting go of all four. Wishing you a woderful Holiday Season and Happy New Year filled with Peace, Love, Good Health and Prosperity!

  45. Shaley Davis says:

    Thank you so much for what you’re doing. I can’t say enough how much I love tapping and how much it has changed my life. As someone who is looking to “fix” family members I so desperately needed to hear this. Thank you❤

  46. Mogul says:

    Thank you Nick! for reminding me to let go the old habits before coming of the New Year.

  47. Pam says:

    Great thoughts to refocus our energy on. Old habits, die hard…Happy Holidays!

  48. Joke says:

    Thank you Nick, good reminder. Happy Holidays from Joke from The Netherlands. I love EFT.

  49. Colleen Smith says:

    Althogh I need all 4 of these. I have to say the self love maybe the most important for me over the holidays.
    Thank you!

  50. Raina says:

    Thank you! I find myself starting to discern and catch myself in That Space before I succumb to the old habits. It’s a Gift and well worth in wrapping to find My Actual PRESENT.

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