If you’ve been following our Tapping World Summits, you may remember Bobbie. She is a brave and courageous woman that tapped through some deep pain around the memory of her father and her birthday party when she turned 5 years old.
Here’s a video clip, if you missed it.
I recently heard from Bobbie and was astounded to learn of the changes she had made in the past year, especially after going through Jessica’s 7-Week Weight Loss & Body Confidence Program.
Her story is moving, touching, and a great example of what’s possible for all of us. Whether or not weight is an issue for you, it’s an inspiring tale of real change!
I had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her journey when we caught back up. You can read her responses below.
Nick: What’s your story around weight, food, and body image up until the point when you began Tapping on them?
Bobbie: I have had weight and body image issues from about the age of 9 or 10. I am now 49 years young. Food became my savior and safe place as a result of familial incidents and a verbally abusive alcoholic father. It was the one thing I could control in the craziness that was my home life. I started babysitting for people at the tender age of 10, so I had money to supply my own addiction. My mother tried surviving a horrible marriage and raise 4 kids (me being the youngest) as best she could. Because of her own struggles, she never said a word about all the food I snuck into the house and my bedroom.
I always felt safest when I had a generous “supply” of my favorite junk foods. Frequently I would eat a “pre” meal before eating in front of other people, so they would not know I was overeating (like it was not obvious). I was tortured and teased from about 6th grade on. All the normal, nasty things kids say to each other (fatty, fatty, 2 x 4; is that an earthquake I feel, no just Bobbie, etc…)
As I continued to grow up after high school, food was my drug of choice and branched into every area of my life. I was now using it for everything in my life. Remaining numb was the goal (sugar especially fit that bill perfectly). I learned how to hide my true emotions very well behind the mask of food I had to keep increasing to keep the mask in place.
TV has been the other constant companion with my food. My other favorite escape. So much so, that even to this day, sitting in front of the TV brings up the desire to eat. They just seem to “belong” together, like watching a movie means popcorn, soda, and candy.
Abusing food continued my entire life until I was exposed to EFT.
I have tried pretty much every diet known to man, some with better success than others. However, none of them were sustainable for me.
I would set goals, reach them, and then go right back to the food as soon as the goal was met. I actually was able to strong-arm myself down to my “goal weight” of 150 pounds once when I was 21 years of age. It was such an unhealthy way. Working out 4+ hours a day, eating nothing but grapefruit juice and sesame sticks for a month at a time! And while I was at my goal, which lasted for about a year, I went off the rails. I put myself in dangerous situations with men, because I had no idea how to handle my new body or the attention I was getting. Once I met my now-husband, it was like a switch went off and said, “Put the weight back on and be safe again.”
My whole life has been one of “all or nothing”. I was either completely involved or doing nothing at all in every aspect of my life, especially with diets and exercising. Every day of my life, my father said that I was a “fat, lazy, useless, slob, that no one could ever truly love”. This was my truth and I lived my life to fulfill that truth.
Many years ago, I started being introduced to the idea that it was not what I was eating, it was what was eating me. I knew there was truth there, yet had no practical way to completely release all those old negative and traumatic experiences.
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Nick: What has your weight loss and body confidence journey with Tapping been like?
Bobbie: I was introduced to Tapping in June of 2013. I was using it to release all kinds of things, yet the weight issues kept eluding me. Then I began with Jess’s program in January of this year, 2014. This was the tipping point for me. I was finally focusing on and willing to go into the weight issues and what was eating me. I began using it pretty much strictly for getting rid of cravings and wanting to eat when I was not physically hungry at first. It worked so quickly, I LOVED it!
I still kept avoiding past issues. I was in the hospital in January 2014 with an unrelated issue and my blood sugar was 343! They were quite concerned and I was supposed to see a physician immediately to begin treatment, as both my mom and grandfather were diabetic. I spent that long, lonely night in the hospital tapping my heart out, crying, begging, pleading, asking for guidance. When I went home the next day, it was with the resolve that I would give myself 3 months to get my blood sugars down into the normal range or I would seek the medical care they recommended.
With the help of Jessica’s program, I was able to do that in 2 months! I check it monthly to be sure it remains normal, and tap on all the issues that continue to come up. I was more and more interested in the areas of Jessica’s program that I resisted because I knew these things held the most power over me. Exercise, the pain behind the pounds, rewriting my story…
One by one I began tackling them, going after whichever one was the most pressing issue for me each day. Some days it was eating when I was not hungry, some days were not wanting to move my body, and some days were just horrible childhood memories screaming for my attention now.
One of my greatest breakthroughs came when I was doing some tapping with a friend, going after, “Why do I put everyone else first and leave myself with sloppy leftovers?”. That progressed to a very specific childhood memory of my dad hitting my mother and what happened right after that. In the memory I had always had and recalled, my dad sent me on my way warning me not to tell my aunt and uncle. While using EFT, I remembered he also told me, “If you tell anyone else, things will only get worse here!” Holy, you know what! The connections made and pain released were absolutely breathtaking, and the journey since that point has been even more amazing! My martyrdom left once and for all! Being a martyr, period, is gone and I LOVE IT!
As a side effect of this amazing work, I have released 50 + pounds at last check. I only check once a month (another wonderful blessing from Jessica’s program!). The scale no longer runs my life. It’s still here. However, it has diminished in importance tremendously! I no longer have a specific number I choose to be, rather, to be healthy, happy, and active in my life!
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Nick: What were the biggest realizations you’ve had during that journey?
Bobbie:
- I DO MATTER! I do deserve to be on this planet.
- It is ok to say no, especially to take care of myself!
- I AM SAFE no matter what size I am!
- The monsters I kept locked so securely away all those years, ended up not being as scary as I always thought when brought into the light of day. The bottomless, deep black pool of despair that I feared most of all, actually does, indeed, have a bottom, and I can raise it up anytime I choose with EFT!
- Exercise can be fun!
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Nick: As a result of that journey, what has changed (and continues to change) for you internally – in terms of your emotions, beliefs, relationship with your body, etc.?
Bobbie: I would say, overall, I am learning to Truly LOVE ME, ALL OF ME! If you knew me before, you would realize how MAJOR that statement is for me to say out loud! While I know it is still a process, I am much quicker at catching myself when I slip into the old negative talk and tap on it until the charge diminishes and goes away. Then replace it with much kinder thoughts.
My relationship with my family, especially my kids continues to grow stronger. They tell me often how proud they are of me for sticking with this. I tell them, it is easy because I can truly see myself doing this for the rest of my life! (I have NEVER been able to say that about anything before!)
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Nick: What has changed, and continues to change, for you externally – changes in weight, new habits like eating, exercise, etc. – as a result of this journey?
Bobbie: To date, I have gone down 50+ pounds and clothes sizes from a 30/32 to a 20/22! More to come. (Or go! LOL)
I am exercising on a regular basis, with much fewer and shorter periods of struggling to keep going with it. Consistently I seek new kinds of workouts, seeking what I can have fun with, enjoy doing, and benefit my body all at the same time. I have realized that if I do not enjoy doing it I will not keep it up. Learning to move my body in fun ways and finally find out what I enjoy has been, and is a wonderful journey!
I am eating so many foods that 7 months ago I would have laughed at you for suggesting. A lot more organic food and drinking a lot more water. I no longer drink soda (my body showed me it does not care for it).
As Jessica suggested, I have become a full-time detective with my body. I enjoy trying new foods, including foods I refused to try my whole life. It’s rare that I eat carbs, especially gluten, and processed sugar, as my body feels so much better without them. I am amazed at how quickly my body revolts against me when I try to eat some of the old foods that were my comfort foods. It truly does not feel good when I indulge in processed sugar, which is VERY rare now!
I know I have a ways to go, and I KNOW I AM on my way. With Jessica’s program, I KNOW now that it TRULY is ALL About the Journey, Not the Destination!
Thanks to an incredibly courageous Bobbie for sharing her journey’s story with us. 🙂
If you’d like to learn more about Jessica’s powerful Weight Loss & Body Confidence 7-Week Program, you can do so here.
Until next time…
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
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