Weight Loss

Tapping Case Study – The Weight of Painful Words

Written by: Nick Ortner

Bobbie and Nick Ortner at Tapping World Summit

If you’ve been following our Tapping World Summits, you may remember Bobbie. She is a brave and courageous woman that tapped through some deep pain around the memory of her father and her birthday party when she turned 5 years old.

Here’s a video clip, if you missed it.

I recently heard from Bobbie and was astounded to learn of the changes she had made in the past year, especially after going through Jessica’s 7-Week Weight Loss & Body Confidence Program.

Her story is moving, touching, and a great example of what’s possible for all of us. Whether or not weight is an issue for you, it’s an inspiring tale of real change!

I had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her journey when we caught back up. You can read her responses below.

Nick: What’s your story around weight, food, and body image up until the point when you began Tapping on them?

Bobbie: I have had weight and body image issues from about the age of 9 or 10. I am now 49 years young. Food became my savior and safe place as a result of familial incidents and a verbally abusive alcoholic father. It was the one thing I could control in the craziness that was my home life. I started babysitting for people at the tender age of 10, so I had money to supply my own addiction. My mother tried surviving a horrible marriage and raise 4 kids (me being the youngest) as best she could. Because of her own struggles, she never said a word about all the food I snuck into the house and my bedroom.

I always felt safest when I had a generous “supply” of my favorite junk foods. Frequently I would eat a “pre” meal before eating in front of other people, so they would not know I was overeating (like it was not obvious). I was tortured and teased from about 6th grade on. All the normal, nasty things kids say to each other (fatty, fatty, 2 x 4; is that an earthquake I feel, no just Bobbie, etc…)

As I continued to grow up after high school, food was my drug of choice and branched into every area of my life. I was now using it for everything in my life. Remaining numb was the goal (sugar especially fit that bill perfectly). I learned how to hide my true emotions very well behind the mask of food I had to keep increasing to keep the mask in place.

TV has been the other constant companion with my food. My other favorite escape. So much so, that even to this day, sitting in front of the TV brings up the desire to eat. They just seem to “belong” together, like watching a movie means popcorn, soda, and candy.
Abusing food continued my entire life until I was exposed to EFT.

I have tried pretty much every diet known to man, some with better success than others. However, none of them were sustainable for me.

I would set goals, reach them, and then go right back to the food as soon as the goal was met. I actually was able to strong-arm myself down to my “goal weight” of 150 pounds once when I was 21 years of age. It was such an unhealthy way. Working out 4+ hours a day, eating nothing but grapefruit juice and sesame sticks for a month at a time! And while I was at my goal, which lasted for about a year, I went off the rails. I put myself in dangerous situations with men, because I had no idea how to handle my new body or the attention I was getting. Once I met my now-husband, it was like a switch went off and said, “Put the weight back on and be safe again.”

My whole life has been one of “all or nothing”. I was either completely involved or doing nothing at all in every aspect of my life, especially with diets and exercising. Every day of my life, my father said that I was a “fat, lazy, useless, slob, that no one could ever truly love”. This was my truth and I lived my life to fulfill that truth.

Many years ago, I started being introduced to the idea that it was not what I was eating, it was what was eating me. I knew there was truth there, yet had no practical way to completely release all those old negative and traumatic experiences.

Nick: What has your weight loss and body confidence journey with Tapping been like?

Bobbie: I was introduced to Tapping in June of 2013. I was using it to release all kinds of things, yet the weight issues kept eluding me. Then I began with Jess’s program in January of this year, 2014. This was the tipping point for me. I was finally focusing on and willing to go into the weight issues and what was eating me. I began using it pretty much strictly for getting rid of cravings and wanting to eat when I was not physically hungry at first. It worked so quickly, I LOVED it!

I still kept avoiding past issues. I was in the hospital in January 2014 with an unrelated issue and my blood sugar was 343! They were quite concerned and I was supposed to see a physician immediately to begin treatment, as both my mom and grandfather were diabetic. I spent that long, lonely night in the hospital tapping my heart out, crying, begging, pleading, asking for guidance. When I went home the next day, it was with the resolve that I would give myself 3 months to get my blood sugars down into the normal range or I would seek the medical care they recommended.

With the help of Jessica’s program, I was able to do that in 2 months! I check it monthly to be sure it remains normal, and tap on all the issues that continue to come up. I was more and more interested in the areas of Jessica’s program that I resisted because I knew these things held the most power over me. Exercise, the pain behind the pounds, rewriting my story…

One by one I began tackling them, going after whichever one was the most pressing issue for me each day. Some days it was eating when I was not hungry, some days were not wanting to move my body, and some days were just horrible childhood memories screaming for my attention now.

One of my greatest breakthroughs came when I was doing some tapping with a friend, going after, “Why do I put everyone else first and leave myself with sloppy leftovers?”. That progressed to a very specific childhood memory of my dad hitting my mother and what happened right after that. In the memory I had always had and recalled, my dad sent me on my way warning me not to tell my aunt and uncle. While using EFT, I remembered he also told me, “If you tell anyone else, things will only get worse here!” Holy, you know what! The connections made and pain released were absolutely breathtaking, and the journey since that point has been even more amazing! My martyrdom left once and for all! Being a martyr, period, is gone and I LOVE IT!

As a side effect of this amazing work, I have released 50 + pounds at last check. I only check once a month (another wonderful blessing from Jessica’s program!). The scale no longer runs my life. It’s still here. However, it has diminished in importance tremendously! I no longer have a specific number I choose to be, rather, to be healthy, happy, and active in my life!

Nick: What were the biggest realizations you’ve had during that journey?


  • I DO MATTER! I do deserve to be on this planet.
  • It is ok to say no, especially to take care of myself!
  • I AM SAFE no matter what size I am!
  • The monsters I kept locked so securely away all those years, ended up not being as scary as I always thought when brought into the light of day. The bottomless, deep black pool of despair that I feared most of all, actually does, indeed, have a bottom, and I can raise it up anytime I choose with EFT!
  • Exercise can be fun!

Nick: As a result of that journey, what has changed (and continues to change) for you internally – in terms of your emotions, beliefs, relationship with your body, etc.?

Bobbie: I would say, overall, I am learning to Truly LOVE ME, ALL OF ME! If you knew me before, you would realize how MAJOR that statement is for me to say out loud! While I know it is still a process, I am much quicker at catching myself when I slip into the old negative talk and tap on it until the charge diminishes and goes away. Then replace it with much kinder thoughts.

My relationship with my family, especially my kids continues to grow stronger. They tell me often how proud they are of me for sticking with this. I tell them, it is easy because I can truly see myself doing this for the rest of my life! (I have NEVER been able to say that about anything before!)

Nick: What has changed, and continues to change, for you externally – changes in weight, new habits like eating, exercise, etc. – as a result of this journey?

Bobbie: To date, I have gone down 50+ pounds and clothes sizes from a 30/32 to a 20/22! More to come. (Or go! LOL)

I am exercising on a regular basis, with much fewer and shorter periods of struggling to keep going with it. Consistently I seek new kinds of workouts, seeking what I can have fun with, enjoy doing, and benefit my body all at the same time. I have realized that if I do not enjoy doing it I will not keep it up. Learning to move my body in fun ways and finally find out what I enjoy has been, and is a wonderful journey!

I am eating so many foods that 7 months ago I would have laughed at you for suggesting. A lot more organic food and drinking a lot more water. I no longer drink soda (my body showed me it does not care for it).

As Jessica suggested, I have become a full-time detective with my body. I enjoy trying new foods, including foods I refused to try my whole life. It’s rare that I eat carbs, especially gluten, and processed sugar, as my body feels so much better without them. I am amazed at how quickly my body revolts against me when I try to eat some of the old foods that were my comfort foods. It truly does not feel good when I indulge in processed sugar, which is VERY rare now!

I know I have a ways to go, and I KNOW I AM on my way. With Jessica’s program, I KNOW now that it TRULY is ALL About the Journey, Not the Destination!

Thanks to an incredibly courageous Bobbie for sharing her journey’s story with us. 🙂

If you’d like to learn more about Jessica’s powerful Weight Loss & Body Confidence 7-Week Program, you can do so here.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Can you relate to Bobbie and her journey? We would love to hear from you. Comment below!

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30 Comments on this post

  1. Rochel says:

    what an incredible tapping session. i was tapping along my own childhood memories (although not so dramatic) and gained tremendously from it.
    keep up your great work! you are saving loads of people!
    good luck!

  2. Cheryl says:

    Wow! Bobby, I am so proud of you. I have been in the fitness industry for many years and have found certain people that, it doesn’t matter how we try to help, they keep going back to their old ways. Even when talking with them about the psychological aspect of their lives, they get stuck. I think you have found something that is amazing and will recommend it to clients who have tried everything else. God bless you! Thank you!

  3. Joke from the Netherlands says:

    I am really proud of Bobby. Will you tell her. What a brave woman. I love her.
    Lots of love Joke

  4. Dee says:

    I’m so happy for you, Bobbie. And thank you for sharing. You and Nick have helped me with your video and this update.

  5. terri says:

    bless you bobbie, and everyone. i cried with you when i watched you on the original eft program. i am so happy to hear you are doing so much better and would encourage everyone to love and respect themselves and put themselves first in that way, because you do matter. when w fill ourselves up with love, we dont need any artificial fillers, and can give it away and be all of who we really are.

    so many of us are bucking the system by saying no to the standard abusive paradigm that has been in place for too long. be brave my brothers and sisters, you can do it. imagine if all of our children never had to go thru this, what a beautiful world this would be. we can do it for ourselves and the future.

  6. Eileen says:

    Bobbie’s story is my story, and she gives me so much hope! I was verbally and sexually from the age of 5 and have struggled with weight over much of my life. I want to do more tapping and Jessica’s program, thank you for giving me hope.

  7. Grace says:

    Bobbie is a dear EFT friend of mine and I have the pleasure of interacting with her on a regular basis. She is strong and loving and embraces EFT so beautifully. She is such a great example of how EFT can work it’s miracles if we are brave enough to try it. Good work Bobbie!

  8. Eva says:

    A truly wonderful story. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Raina says:

    I was present at the Pain Seminar and tapped along from the audience. There were so many amazing experiences I witnessed unfold during that weekend and yours stands out in my memory. I am so happy to know of your continuing progress and self-love. Your story is such an inspiration and I am thrilled for you. Thank you for sharing; it means a lot.

  10. Joanne Frazer says:

    Wow Bobbie, what a great story. I remember you from the Tapping for Pain Summit last year and was so impressed by how your pain went away. Now, you are inspiring even more people, including my daughter, to use tapping for their weight issues. Thank you so much for sharing!

  11. Mary Ellen says:

    I am exactly like Bobbie. My childhood abuse included an alcoholic perverted father and a mentally ill mother who was in hospital for great stretches of time. I used to steal food and sneak eat; sugar was my first drug of choice. I graduated to cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as I got older. I have been clean and sober for 28 years and off cigarettes for 17 years but, after 12 years of intensive both group and individual therapy, I still struggle with my original sugar addiction. I’ve found I’m good at quitting things; unfortunately, I can’t quit eating. I am going to try the Tapping Solution. I have no $$$ to take the full course, but I have downloaded some of your excellent material and read your e-mails faithfully. Thank you.

  12. Dawna Cannon says:

    OMG..boy can I ever relate to this. I’ve been on SO many diets in my 56 years on earth. I’ve been overweight most of those years. There were some skinny years in there, but they never lasted long. The most I ever lost at one time was 75 pounds, but then gained it back plus more. I’ve been SLOWLY working on getting rid of the excess pounds for a couple of years now. Many changes in my eating habits as well as finally liking to go to the gym. I’m currently looking to cut back on my food portion sizes, but find myself ravenously hungry when getting home from work. Feels like it’s the “home” word that’s getting in my way. I agree with Bobbie..TV and food go hand in hand. They are my 2 escapes from the pressures of reality. I don’t have to think. I just have to “be” at those times. I’ve read Jessica’s book and have been treating it as my “bible”. I’ve been away from it for about a month now, but need to go back to it and tackle another part of it. I have yellow highlights and red and blue tabs throughout the book. I’d love to get involved in a group tapping, but have no idea how to find it. Any help would REALLY be appreciated. I need more support with this in my life.

  13. Angela baker says:

    Bobbie, thank you so much for sharing your journey. It brought me to tears of joy. You are so amazing, inspiring and beautiful. Love you.

  14. beatrice stevenson says:

    Bobbie did very well. I have my own issues that I will like to discuss with you. Can you email me or talk to you on the phone? Iam tapping but don”t think is helping my problem. Maybe iam not doing it right.

  15. Frank Schoen says:

    What does EFT stand for? I could not find an explanation anywhere. Thank you.

  16. Kate says:

    This made me cry, as did the original video of Bobbie’s tapping session. I have greatly benefited from Tapping in my own life, but seeing the previous video with Bobbie and seeing how she responded- that was the catalyst that helped me realize that becoming an EFT practitioner is what I am meant to do. I will help others create those shifts in their own life. Seeing how far Bobbie has come from that breakthrough day made my heart soar. My heartfelt congratulations to Bobbie for her amazing success with tapping, and my best wishes to all my fellow Tappers!

  17. Cathy Shipley says:

    Congrats, Bobbie!! Lots of love to you!!

  18. CJ says:

    I thought I was the only one who struggled like you. Good for you Bobbie!!

  19. Lianda Ludwig says:

    When you realize that it wasn’t food that made you gain weight, but the abusive and hurtful events in your life that made you seek “comfort food” that’s the beginning of the journey to weight management.
    It’s also important to realize that stressful events WILL always be a part of life, and learn a better way to manage stress. When stress is left unresolved, that’s when you go for the foods that you don’t allow yourself – they will always have power over you. In my programs, I encourage women to eat ANYTHING- but to do it mindfully and joyfully. That way, along with EFT, you can “have your cake and eat it”. No food has power over you anymore.

  20. Karen says:

    Reading Bobbies story brought me to tears…I too grew up in an alcohols grip of reality. It was a bad but not as abusive as some. I realize I made that some consolation but as I get older my body mind and soul just can’t contain all the story. The story that is real. The story I tell myself. The story I want everyone else to know, or not know. I am exhausted! So thank you Bobbie for being real and giving me hope there is something else to do to address my issues. xo

  21. Brandy says:

    Rock on, Bobbie! You go girl! I am so proud of you and that you are sticking with the program, especially the exercise part. You are truly an inspiration.

  22. Scott says:

    Great article Nick & Jessica,
    I’ve never really had a weight issue, lifetime athlete), but I can really relate to the hidden, stuffed feelings & emotions behind this, and so many of my personal issues.
    Ive always related to this quote by John Muir, founder of the Sierra Club & main force behind Yosemite Natl park:”I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. ”
    Scott 2

  23. Pat Boyer says:

    Amazing story. I remember seeing the video.
    I did Jessica’s Meditation for a Healthy New Year as I wanted to start off the new year right. I didn’t lose any weight but I did quit smoking! Thanks Jessica.

  24. Natalie says:

    I have been overweight my entire life and am feeling hopeless. I am over 350 lbs. I bought Jessica’s book. Have been tapping. Still feel like something is missing. I am not sure what to do. Have bought all the diet plans along the way and none have worked. Why should I try this one?

  25. Rita says:

    Bobbie, and Nick, thank you for sharing such a wonderful, and sensitive, story. You “give” Hope & Love” to so many people!!! I know I am smiling as I read about your progress! I am so happy for you, that you are having a “wonderful journey”!!! Can I buy a ticket, and when does the plane, bus, train, automobile leave? Blessings to you!!!

  26. Dafu says:

    When she remembers the story of her father hitting her mom, and not telling anybody… how could she send that memory away? how could she liberate the guilt?

  27. Lisa says:

    I was so moved by that video months ago and it’s great we get to follow Bobbie on her journey! What an amazing woman! Thanks for your courage to show us all that it is possible to change your life in an instant (with a lot of on-going hard-work!!).
    I believe we all have that lack-of-self-love-hole somewhere in us which we try in various ways to fill!

    Tapping: I also agree that this method is able to unlock, reveal and release feelings/ words and attitudes that we’ve been telling ourselves for years. This method is so amazing and powerful because it is so specific to OUR OWN journey. A tapping practitioner can guide us…but the client is the one who makes sense of it all–not some aloof therapist on a cloud–not wanting to give them a bad rap! Tapping is just an extremely active, effective, loving and safe method to get at the ghosts in our closet.

  28. Laura says:

    At the summit, I cried as you tapped and spoke with Nick. You are an inspiring courageous lady. If you can move beyond your pain, then so can anyone. If you can beat your food cravings, then so can anyone. Just keep on tapping! Thanks for being willing to share!

  29. You are a wonderful inspiration Bobbie. I am so happy to hear of your new LIFE! It is so enriched, unlike your Father's! You are now with your true self, in your power and limitless! says:

    You are a wonderful inspiration to the world Bobbie! Finding your True Self. I was so emotional watching your pain and release and it now fills me with joy to see how you have enriched your LIFE (something your Father hasn’t done). Continue to be in your Power and limitless and JOYFUL Namaste from Denise in Eastern Mediterranean, Cyprus

  30. Lena says:

    This was so touching to read, I really connected with a lot of what Bobbie said. I was overweight for a long time from late childhood to late teens and I can relate to the feelings. But what I related to most and what made me cry were Bobbie’s realisations – they are my exact same fears/limiting beliefs and with my own gradual process they are being healed as well. But reading that someone else at some point felt the same about themselves makes me realise it really can’t be Truth – if there are others who can feel the exact same and I can see their worth it must just be a deep wound we have and faulty protection mechanism that can be changed. Thank you so much. I really honour your process and I am so grateful to be reminded that there is nothing to be afraid of and that I was brought to earth to Live!

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