Tapping Tip: Justifying My Existence…

Written by: Nick Ortner

There’s a PERVASIVE cultural drive out there, one that I find myself caught up in way too often: the need to justify my existence by my work, accomplishments, ambition, etc.

I’m sure I’m the only one dealing with this challenge… 😉

I beat myself up because I didn’t get enough done, I haven’t accomplished enough, my need to be working and moving at all times…

As babies, we received love just for being alive and cute and cuddly. Then at one point, that switched and we started believing the myth that we were only deserving of love if we did ENOUGH or we were ENOUGH.

Well, it is a MYTH… because you are deserving of love just as you are… flaws, mistakes, wrinkles and all.

So let’s do some tapping on this!

Remember, these are general phrases, so start with these and then move on to SPECIFIC situations, events, and memories for you.

The more SPECIFIC you can get with your personal stuff, the better results you’ll have. These are just to get you started and get your mind going.

If you don’t know the points or want further instruction on how to do the tapping, you can find it here.

Tapping Script: Justifying My Existence

Karate Chop: Even though part of me feels I need to justify my existence, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

(Repeat the above phrase three times while tapping on the karate chop point.)

Eyebrow: I need to justify my existence
Side of the Eye: I need to do more
Under Eye: I need to be more
Under Nose: Justifying my existence
Under Mouth: Am I enough?
Collarbone: Can I do enough?
Under the Arm: I’ve got to do more
Top of the Head: I need to justify my existence

(Repeat the above phrases a couple of times, including your own phrases as well, and when you feel significant relief, move on to the positive phrases.)

Eyebrow: I am enough
Side of the Eye: I am perfect as I am
Under the Eye: Whatever I do, it’s enough
Under Nose: I am loved as I am
Under Mouth: I love myself
Collarbone: And forgive myself
Under the Arm: Because I am enough
Top of the Head: I release this need to justify my existence

As you can probably figure, or maybe feeling right now if you’ve just done the tapping, this can be heavy stuff!

I’d suggest you spend 10-15 minutes tapping through this again and again and be sure to move on to the specific issues that come up for you.

Jot down whatever specific event, issue, or memory these phrases triggered, and then work on tapping those down.

Do me a favor when you get a chance, share your experience, comments, and ideas from this Tapping script below.

I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

And as a bonus, I’m also including one of the Tapping App Meditations to assist you even further.

Releasing the Critical Voice

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Download The Tapping Solution App today!

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33 Comments on this post

  1. Leah Brockway says:

    I was intrigued by how this helps school children and tried it with Jessica. My critical voice has always been my mom’s. She died last month at 91 from Parkinson’s Disease. As I was feeling compassion for the critical voice, I saw our hands join like we were walking together and began to cry happy tears, tears of relief. I felt her loving spirit. This was a very beautiful experience. Thank you.

  2. Lisa says:

    Thanks, what a relief tapping an why I exist. Keep up the good work.

  3. Rosemary says:

    this tapping idea reminded me that my goal is to transition from object to subject. i am worthy only because i exist. there is no need to earn the worthiness. we are people not things.

  4. Cathy says:

    Dear Nick,
    Thank you so much for this exercise. I did some ‘what ifs’ in the middle- what if I could feel love, I wonder what love would fee like’. Then, at the end, I worked on resistance. Even though there is a part of me that is resisting letting go… on the main bit, I said ‘this part of me that is resisting letting go, I take her in my arms and love her’ Talk about floodgates! Just shared it with you in case it might resonate with somone else,
    Thank you again for your kindness
    Best wishes for the New Year,

  5. Audrey says:

    I am exhausted and drained, but in a released way. I held off on doing this sequence until this morning after Boxing Day. This was the first Christmas my oldest sister’s family had without the yougest son who passed in March. It was also a year when the kids were with their Dad. Christmas Eve found me in a ball on the floor of the kitchen sobbing uncontrollably, not entirely sure why. I landed up in emergency last night for the second time in a week with tachycardia, thankful that the kids were at their Dad’s. Obviously something was up…
    After having your book on the counter, meaning to “get to it”, I started reading it in the bath yesterday. I had also been listening to Gregg Braden while driving speak of heart math and how the heart holds hurt. The CD series is “The spontaneously Healing of Belief”. The two messages linked and here I am.
    As soon as I started tapping, I felt things shift in my body. I was the designated “golden child” in the family and always had an underlying current of not living up to it. I just read what lena wrote and feel the same way. I get the impression from my Mom, especially since my separation and consequent divorce this year, that I am a disappointment and a bit of an embarrassment to her. Gregg Braden mentioned past beliefs sneaking up and hitting just when you least expect it and usually at a time where there is great changes going on. And guess what…
    I guess the next step is to tap on the fear of failure. The fear of family drama. I have not told my family that I have applied to go back to school, as this means moving 500 miles away. I only told a few close friends who “get” it.
    To partially quote lena, “Just what I needed and wanted… but didn’t know until ‘I did it’ ”
    My heart and soul thank you.

  6. lena says:

    Hi Nick,
    Thanks so much! This was such a powerful tapping for me. I’ve done a few rounds and already a weight has lifted. I never felt I was enough or could do enough for my mom which I just realized is so twisted/backward. I wasn’t supposed to have to do a song & dance to be loved. But I always felt I had to and during the tapping I realized that no matter what I did it was never enough. I’m grateful to have this tool to release this. So thank you from every corner of my heart for this script. Just what I needed and wanted . . . but didn’t know until you posted!

  7. Lance Shoring says:

    Hi Nick… that was good and simple .. i have ADHD and so many others who do not admit to it,keep it simple as possible .Please keep the blanks filled in with suggestions as my imagination do not work well at all. Can you do a tapping e-mail on this subject ?Please.. Thank You LS

  8. caterina says:

    The tapping to justify one’s existence is very powerful, you are right, it brings up the hell out of you!!!
    I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart, tapping is doing for me more than years and years of various therapies and stuff. Thanks to all the Ortners and their generosity in sharing.
    love caterina

  9. Helen says:

    It’s funny how much the words “not enough” create an imbalance that leads to such unhappiness. It was easy for me to be an overachiever as a kid; wowing grown-ups with my maturity, thoughts and accomplishments was a given. And now I’m a grown up, wondering where that overachiever is hiding. Now I don’t have a job, knowing that the job I had years ago wasn’t enough, and yet thinking that returning to that world is my only option. I was happier for a spell, pursuing a more altruistic route, but bills weren’t getting paid. It wasn’t enough. I wasn’t doing enough.

    I’ve done some good things since. And now, another job is needed. The perfect for me job is elusive. And so I think my only choice was to return to what I knew. Only I can’t seem to get a job in that world now either. Oh crap, now I’m not even good enough to do what I used to do without even thinking about it. Okay, that’s not meant for me. Maybe I’m not doing enough of something right. Enough of what? Try harder. Try harder at what?


    I’ve been very good to people. Going above and beyond in helping them and, wow; I need help now and I’m alone. Wait a second, why aren’t you excited about having me back in your world? I was always happy to get you out of your funk and now you wish me well in my funkiness but won’t invite me into your newly created successful fun. Oh wait, maybe it’s not your job to accept me into that world. (Maybe I need to accept myself, regardless of how I perceive you feel about me.) Maybe there’s somewhere else I belong and there’s other fun for me to be had elsewhere. Still, it’s too bad I’m missing out on that fun. I thought I was good enough to play with you.

    I am good enough, just not the right fit for what you had in mind. There’s a more perfect fit elsewhere. I’ll find that new group to play with, or that new group will find me and accept me and love what I have to offer. I’ll also make that money I need to, doing the job that is right for me. I am doing enough, even if some days all I can do is cry before I can pick myself up the next day, be good to myself and do a little more.

    It’s enough. I struggle to accept that, because surely if it was enough I’d be accomplishing something and loads happier. I am accomplishing something. I’m growing. The “perfect life” might not be happening “fast enough,” but guess what? It is. This is it. I’ve got to appreciate what I’ve got and have cofidence in the truth that the rest will come.

    And now to tap on patience…

  10. SHEILA says:

    Oh man. These returning soldiers really need EFT, What are you doing about offering to teach this to those who attend to their PTSD??? I do hope you will bring this non-invasive technique to the general public, via Oprah or some other show. PLEASE.

  11. jim lentz says:

    This was a good one for me to tap on. After my dad left my mother at age two, I could never be enough to make her happy (although I wanted to so that she could make me happy) and at some point around age 12 or 13 I quit trying as it was just too painful to try & not get much emotionally back. This is when I subconsciously “split” from her emotionally & attempted to get my needs met by girls in school, but I didn’t know how to be just friends & my unmet needs were too much for any girl to deal with. As a result I never learned how to be friends with girls & just looked at them as sexual objects in an attempt to relieve my unmet needs, which in the long run never lasted very long & leaving me emotionally empty again. Hopefully it’s not too late to learn how to make friends with women without a sexual motivation, but it’s not easy. If I can learn to do this, maybe it’s not too late to have a meaningful relationship which is more than just sexual. Thanks Nick for continually trying to help us with your free info & guidance.

  12. ReNAY says:

    Wow NICK,
    how did you know…
    I have been having such a hard time with ………..
    life in general .. i had been looking t my Tapping chart… and thinking…
    what .. is the main prob? “i don’t know”
    what is wrong with me? “i don’t know
    why don’t i try tapping? “could not pin point a ” THE PROBLEM”
    it is so GOOD to know that i didn’t have to find the problem 1st….
    THANX NICK.. i have printed this one out and it is hanging right by my tapping chart…..
    You just SAVED ME,

  13. Leja says:

    Honestly, I wasn’t going to try this, but that word – “justifying” – would not let me go. And so, I started with what what written and “Daddy” popped up; I stopped referring to him as that long before I became an adult. In doing my second round I spoke directly to Daddy. It wasn’t until I finished the second round I realized his poison still lived within me — I was never good enough because I was a female child; also never good enough because 9 yrs. spent in a convent run by nuns who beat me for speaking my native tongue, finally robbed me of it; it made me unfit; unworthy of being part of the family.
    Thank you, Nick. I know I still have to work through other layers of that pain, but at least the very one I never knew still lie coiled around my heart has been cut away I feel cleansed; as though my road is stretched out before me.
    That said, I’ve chosen to learn another language; one in which I can express my own justifications for being just enough for me.

  14. MIKE says:


  15. Cheri Valentine says:


    I have so much admiration and respect for you and your sister, Jessica! I was introduced to ‘tapping in 2005, and it kept “showing up” up for me through the years. I would use it, share it a little, and always amazed at the results, then “put it on the shelf.” In 2007 I met Ingrid Dinter, and EFT Coach who worked and trained directly with Gary Craig. I was trained by Ingrid in Level I and II certifications, and started to use it personally to heal from the ending of my second marriage. I was AMAZED at what showed up, and honestly, still am – so much freedom!

    I started to share it more, and incorporate it into my coaching practice a little bit, yet still did not completely own this gift. Ingrid introduced me to you via email, and I listened to The Tapping Summit in 2009 and 2010, purchasing the program. I am so grateful for this move and for you providing this FREE opportunity each year. I really listened to, and used the information presented myself and then offered to share with others. I was blown away by the results others experienced and their feedback to me. I realized that I truly do have a gift and finally embraced that. Once I did, people started to come to me for tapping. This has led to more spiritual growth and self inquiry and has helped me redefine and own my truth in my professional life.

    In my personal life, I have been able to slowly release the need for medication that has been helping me cope with the nerve pain from lyme disease and fibromyalgia as a result of my tapping. I am not completely there yet, however my improvement in the past year with all my tapping is remarkable. I am so glad we have this gift to share with others, and that you are doing such a remarkable job in making “tapping” and the professionals who use it accessible. I realized that one area in which I have not tapped yet, is my own lack of sharing your emails more. I’ve had overwhelm with technology and I am dealing with each one by one, until I feel confident – and I forget I have the tool – sometimes I can really miss the obvious – LOL!

    Thank you for sharing so much with the world, for having the faith to create The Tapping Solution, and for being you! By the way, I am working with a client who is struggling with the very issue that you posted here, and I am thrilled to share this with her until our next session. You truly are a gift!

    Cheri Valentine

  16. Fern says:

    I have 2 clients with staying asleep issues and both who get up and eat in the middle of the night. We have tapped on the emotions, feeling out of control, and frustration, and the habit but the results are not lasting. Do you have any other script ideas for how to help these clients. I also have done hypnosis, and have had some results but we are still working on lasting changes.

  17. Mary Green says:

    Haven’t got a website but deeply appreciate all tapping info. Plus I am getting known as the Tip Lady, as I tell everyone that has any problem how to tap, even last night I paid for petrol and behind the till the cashier was scratching. I asked if she had a rash, yes, came reply, caused by stress with kids etc. Told her, and the other listening cashier about EFT and both thanked me. Taking dog for walk meeting up with regular dog walkers, most of them have learned about Tapping. I tell them what to look for on Internet so you should be getting a few more people involved with your site. I am president of an Organ Society and printer.
    My newsletters to members also carried EFT instructions, so I am passing it on as often as possible. Thought you would like to know this as you asked for comments. My son and I do tapping every day. Best Wishes, Mary
    Best Wishes

  18. Elona says:

    Hi Nick
    I want to thank you for sharing – really sharing. I feel so disillusioned by all the emails I’m getting, everyone trying to make a buck out of misery, for let’s face it, most people reading this, are searching. I feel conned every time I get this big hoo haa announcement and then “for only X amount you can watch this in the comfort of your home”. I have now unsubscribed to all these sites because I feel that no one really cares, everyone is on the wagon for their share. It is just another industry that at this time is thriving and the shrewder your marketing and bigger your promises…

    So, to repeat myself, thank you for all the information you share so unselfishly. I do appreciate that people must make a living, but it is nice to sense integrity behind the need.

    Love and lots of light

  19. Pam says:

    Hi Nick
    I just did this tapping exercise. I have done a lot of work on myself, but when I came to the phrase, “Whatever I do is enough,” the tears flooded down my face. It has always seemed like there are never enough hours in the day, and I can’t possibly do all the things that need to get done. What a relief to finally let this go. Thank you for sharing!

  20. Mel Kinch says:

    Wow! That was so fantastic. I just sat here thinking…….I AM! Thank you for sending this exactly when I needed it. 🙂

  21. Christina says:

    to add to Peter’s second reply: even though I am dissapointed in myself, even disgusted, for falling short on my commitments to myself………….

  22. Christina says:

    Dear Nick
    great tapping idea, thank you – and I resonate with Peter’s ‘dissertation’! And: our economy needs frustrated people who stuff and cover up their lack with material things…. since I have a relationship issue – I changed your words to deserving love and being lovable. blessings to Nick and all readers of this blog

  23. jo mangan says:

    thank you for that tapping exercise
    i had numbness and pain in my right hand and fingers
    the relief that it brought after i finished the tapping was
    a godsent//i am so gratefull to you for your tapping
    thank you nick
    may the angels watch over you

  24. marina says:

    Thanks Nick, I found it really helpful! for a few days now I was trying to keep myself very busy doing stuff, otherwise I felt like just being was not enough. I regularly have this feeling, like I need to work/accomplish something in order to justify me living.
    I will definitely keep tapping on it, thank you!

  25. Natalie (EFT Tapping) says:

    Nick, this was so great I just recorded an audio of me tapping it, so I can do it again and again.

    A sad memory came up for me when I was tapping this. Only one month before my 89 year old mother died, she said to me, “My life is done. I’m just no good to anyone anymore.”

    A month later, she was gone. I lost my best friend – and my family lost the glue that held us together.

    My mother had no idea what an impact she had on us all – just by her very existence.

    That must be true for all of us – we just don’t realize or acknowledge it. So Nick, thanks for the reminder.

  26. Fern says:

    What came up for me was that I was taught as a child that I ‘fell short of the glory of God’, and deserved to die. Somehow I never forgot that, or got over that. If God feels that way, he should just kill me now, because I am tired of a life of suffering constant reminders that I am not good enough, will never be good enough, and can never be good enough.

  27. Ishan das says:

    The only thing that prevents us from feeling the presence of God right here and now is the inability to DEEPLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE AND ACCEPT OURSELVES. As soon as we do, we will be on the vibe frequency that resonates with God’s loving presnece. This self-love and self acceptance will fulfill all of our goals. This can be accomplished through tapping! Ishan das

  28. peter levine /Ishan das says:

    Even though I feel that I am lacking in : feeling filled
    discretion in eating
    feelings of inner peace
    feelings of accomplishment
    personal power
    etc., etc., etc., etc.,………….
    Even though I don’t feel that I deeply and completely love and accept myself,
    Even though I feel mad, sad, scared, depressed, alone, lonely, poor, unworthy, unloved, unlovable, ugly, selfish, needy, sick, tired, degraded, frustrated, haggard, afflicted, wasted, victimized, hurtful, envious, critical, criticized, wronged, betrayed, etc., etc., etc., etc………………
    Hare Krishna! (God love me!) Ishan das

  29. peter levine /Ishan das says:

    All right Nick! Right on, brother! I have been waiting for this! Note the paradox. So much of tapping is about getting and doing more, more, more. Or becoming more so that we can do and get more. And here it hits the fan. We are doing more and getting more – because of a belief, an internalized cultural value, that encourages us to evaluate ourselves in terms our ability to do more, get more, and have more. We have to enquire: “Where does this go? Where does this end?” So the “more” aspect does not necessarily fill the empty hole in the heart. Not only that, but the “more” aspect is a kind of energy that is based on a deep-seated quality of “lack”. And as the “lack” energy is the motivating factor, our getting and doing more, feeds the feeling of lack. Desire is a kind of fire and as we feed that fire the flames do not lessen. Rather they increase. The donkey who is loaded with a burden is sometimes encouraged to move forward by a carrot that is dangled from a string. the stringis a ttached to a stick and the stick is tied to the load on the donkey’s back. The carrot dangles before the donkey and he thinks, “one more step, one more step…..” The “more” that we are persuing through our tapping can very well be the carrot for many of us and we have to weigh this. We have to ask some of the following questions: “Can we keep these things – riches, health, fame, relationships, possessions, power – and for how long? Then what? Can these things actually give me inner peace? contentment? Fulfillment?:”
    but I do not have to answer these questions because you have already done so. Rather than giving us peace, these accomplisments are making us run faster. These things glitter but are they really gold?
    This is not the place for a discertation. And let us not throw out the baby with the bath water. The tapping process in itself is a gift from God. Let us learn to use it in order to remove the blockages that stop us from feeling our rightful claim to our connection with God. Let us use it to learn to feel that i am enough. I am perfect. I am good. I am lovable. I am loving. I love myself! When we can vibrate from that level we can automatically sense our relationship with God. Because that is the level of the God vibration. So there can be resonance! so first we have to clean ourselves up, or tap ourselves up, to thelevel of self-love. From there a window opens and the love-light from God (with or without sectarian labels) can enter and we can bask in it.
    From that place only good will follow. From that place we willalways be filled. Even over-flowing. In the meantime, all of the more things that we tap for can be accumulated. And when we come to the internally filled place, we’ll know what to do with all of that “more” stuff, how to share it – in order to inspire faith in others. For so long I have been wanting to write to you along these lines but now you have written to me, to all of us, esaying that there is amissing pience in the formula. To say that we need something more. and that more is the healing we can get , through tapping, that enables us to to know that we are more, and to connect with the Ultimater More. Nothing has to be subtracted from the tapping formula – just this aspect hasto be added – and it seems that you aredoing just that. Your brother, Hare Krishna (May you be in communion with the Big More), Ishan das

  30. Terry says:

    Wow, this was really a super exercise, it’s great for all wellness workers who have to heal everyone, blaze all to unending abundance and clear every emotional block in the clients entire life(in 30 minutes or less)! Just to
    know that I can love and forgive by being in the present now is the best gift of service I
    can render to clients, family and universe!!! May all be blessed because we have the courage
    to revisit and heal..

  31. Kirk ( says:

    Hey, Nick. Something that I especially like about this tapping sequence is the word “ENOUGH”. When it comes to an abundance mindset, “enough” can be dangerous — as in “I do not have enough time.” or “I do not have enough creativity.” or [fill in the blank]. Thank you for this sequence!

  32. Tina says:

    Hi Nick
    That was a good issue for me…I realised how much I need to justify my existance by tring to make others happy , so I can feel needed.
    Tap Tap Tap….I release this need to feel needed.
    Tina 🙂

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