Why It’s Important to Feel and Release Emotions, Even If It Hurts…

Written by: Nick Ortner


How often in life do you stuff down negative emotions or feelings about something going on in your present life or about something that has happened in the past?

It’s a common human pattern to stuff things down. We do it to protect ourselves. You’ve done it, I’ve done it, people do it on a daily basis.

The challenge is…

As we continue to stuff things down in our lives, it accumulates and causes more and more problems for us.  

We continue to have money problems because we don’t want to address the issues and beliefs we had about money growing up or the fears we have about pushing outside of our comfort zones…

We continue to have weight issues because we push down the feelings we have about ourselves and our bodies…

We continue to suffer from physical pain because of not addressing traumatic events or from deep-seated issues from our childhood…

But while pushing down these emotions down may be less painful in the short term, the long term pain can be overwhelming.

Emotions need to be released.  Emotion, or energy in motion, needs to flow through us.

I’m not gonna lie… to truly feel and release these emotions takes guts. But the very fact that you’re reading this, the fact that you’re exploring EFT Tapping, shows me that you have courage far beyond the average person.

When it comes to Tapping, the importance of feeling and really connecting to what’s going on is critically important.

It’s all too easy to do “rote” tapping, just going through the motions and saying the words. And while you can certainly benefit from that, since just the physical tapping itself calms the body and nervous system, if you take the time to really feel what you’re saying, to focus, to be centered and grounded, your results are going to be that much better.

Try it now, even just for a minute or two. Pick a challenge you’re facing. Pick an emotion you’re feeling. Pick an event that you keep thinking about that you can’t seem to let go of.

Pick something that’s stressing you out. Get specific on it, on what you feel exactly, on what happened exactly.

And when you tap and say, “I love, accept, and forgive myself” tune in to what that really feels like.

What does it mean to love yourself? 

What does it mean to accept yourself? 

What does it mean to forgive yourself? 

Especially in light of the problem/challenge/emotion/event that you’re focusing on.

And if you struggle to even say the words and don’t feel that you can love, accept or forgive yourself, know that that is ok too (and perfectly normal).  t is feedback that is helping you to know how you truly feel and where you need to release.

If those words are too difficult to say, you can also say “I accept how I feel” or perhaps “I can begin to love myself anyway.” Feel free to soften the language to if it feels too difficult to love, accept or forgive something.

Take a deep breath or two…feel your feet grounded into the earth… And then let’s do some tapping.

Tapping on the Karate Chop: Even though (fill in the blank with the problem/issue/event/emotion), I love, accept, and forgive myself… (Now FEEL it when you say that… try it again, really focusing on the feeling.)

Still on the karate chop: Even though… I’m angry… I have this pain in my back… I can’t stop thinking about what she said to me… I’m so worried about the upcoming deadline…. I love, accept, and forgive myself.

Feel it even more. What do these words actually mean? What’s the feeling in your body when you say them?

One more time on the karate chop point: Even though __________, I love, accept, and forgive myself…

Now, with that feeling, with that focus, with that emotion, tap through the points, simply stating what the issue is:

(these are just examples on every point, fill it in with your own language)

Eyebrow: This issue

Side of the Eye: This anger

Under the Eye: This anxiety

Under Nose: This event that I can’t let go of

Under Mouth: This stressful issue

Collarbone: Feeling it in my body

Under the Arm: Feeling safe to feel it

Top of the Head: And letting it go

Keep tapping until you find the relief you’re looking for, and continue to pay attention to your emotional experience. We’re a “head-centric” society, trying to think our way out of our challenges, our fears, our stress – when we bring the body in, through this physical tapping process, when we take the time to FEEL the emotions, that’s when we can see a dramatic change!

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Download The Tapping Solution App today!

If you had a shift or breakthrough in doing this process, large or small, share it below!


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45 Comments on this post

  1. Suzie says:

    Hi Nick
    Do you do private sessions and if so what is the cost?

  2. S says:

    Please put a tap along session in for us and not just the script. That would be so much more helpful. We can then relax while listening and going through the points with you saying it for us. .many thanks in advance.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      We use all kinds of tapping throughout our blogs, S. Some video, some audio, some scripts… everyone has their favorite preferences of how they like to tap. 🙂

  3. Dariah Morgan says:

    Working through your script really help me release the energy of a panic attack yesterday. I will also do the anxiety tapping on your app.
    Nick you and your family are helping so many people including me. Thanks so much for your continued support and helping us to help ourselves
    Much love and big Hug

    • Nick Ortner says:

      You’re so welcome, Dariah. I’m so happy to hear this tapping and the app meditations are helping you! 🙂

  4. Jeannine says:

    ? Thank you!
    Just saying it out loud and focusing on the situation in which I am stuck is bringing it to the forefront… steps….. and I am making the first one today!
    Thank you again !

  5. Maree says:

    Hi Nick. I just started tapping a few days ago. Although I’m very ill I have started with the pain as that is the most severe and urgent issue for me. So far it’s no better. Maybe worse though can’t be sure. I’ve been doing the tapping well and a good amount. Can it take a long time or is it that I may have to address layers? I’ve ordered your book so I’m waiting for that to arrive. Most likely these questions will be answered in there. Thanks so much.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      Hi Maree! Welcome to Tapping! My book certainly answers a lot of questions about the hows and whats, but the speed at which tapping works is different for everyone. Some factors are the willingness to let go of the past, the complexity of the emotional layers, allowing ourselves to reach the core issues, etc. My advice is to just keep exploring the many resources we offer to get a better understanding of how to increase your tapping effectiveness. 🙂

  6. Cheryl says:

    I released a bout of sadness and guilt today. Thank you

  7. Linda says:

    I am trying to read the responses which is impossible to do because they are not coming through! Can anything be done about this?

  8. Margaret Ross says:

    What a break through!I was stuck in the past and have been using Tapping for years on many issues. To day it came to me. I had not ‘forgiven’ my father for all the hurt and pain I experienced at that particular time in my life. Thank you for the encouragement to KEEP TAPPING.It realy does work.

    • Nick Ortner says:

      That’s terrific, Margaret! Forgiveness is such an uplifting experience when we really mean it and feel it. 🙂

  9. Ruth says:

    Hi I struggle with tapping especially on the emotions. I feel I am disassociated from myself. I did an EFT course last year & finally felt ?? something all be it unpleasant. A year in from the course I’m back to square 1. I’m ok tapping on anything physical but anything deeper is a challenge. Can you advise on a place to start ??

    • Nick Ortner says:

      While there can be many reasons to feel disconnected from your emotions, Ruth, sometimes it’s best to go back in your life to discover when this might have started, or even the reason why you may feel disconnected. Oftentimes, shutting off the emotions is a coping mechanism to avoid being hurt by others. If there’s a person, an event, or even a series of events from which you’ve learned that “it’s not safe to express emotions” that might be a good place to start tapping. 🙂

  10. Aditi says:

    Hi Nick, thank you for sharing.
    Somehow it works so much better for me with someone tapping along with me..

  11. Peggy says:

    A big thanks for all you and your sister do!!!!!!!! Peggy

  12. Karen says:

    Really feeling how much want to be loved and accepted is a lot different than just staying in my head and thinking or writing about it. Ouch.

  13. Peg says:

    Wow, Thank you Nick, this came at the perfect time for me to get to the root of some of my shame issues. In the midst of a heated exchange, I was being yelled at, I hid, and avoided admitting I had made a mistake. Just like when I was a kid, when raging alcoholic parents confronted me. Getting to the feelings was not easy. Even though I’d thought I’d tapped through the emotions, when I typed my name to leave a comment here, the raw emotions came back. So I tapped again. Then someone said something nice about me, and I dissolved again. Tapping again. Work in progress. Thanks for the jump start.

  14. zehra todd says:

    Thank you Nick, this exercise made me, remind me do the tapping again, especially on this impoirtant subject. I do not think there is any human being that does not regret something, i.e, missing important opportunities of once in a life time. But regret does not help, so thank you helping to forgive myself being such an idiot at times that I sould not be.

    Years ago when I need some help I did not take medicines, but read some good books. The first one was from Norman Vincent Peale “THE POWER OF POSiTiVE tHINKING, AND THEN OTHERS JUST AS GOOD AND HELPFUL. lOUISE l. HAY ‘S books were also very helpful. Do you know what I called them? MY GOOD FRIENDS!

    Now if you dont mind I will look at you as “My good friend” who loves people and loves to help and make tem happy.

    I thank you again and wish you all the happiness, good health, and good luck.

    Zehra S. Todd

  15. Jay says:

    I have an upcoming event later today that I was scared would bomb because of my worry and fear of failure. I opened my email and read deeply. I tapped. I cried. I released. I am grounded, hopeful, and inspired that today will go well!

  16. Alice says:

    I found myself so very sad today, a year and one day after my younger sister died suddenly, and she would never let me help her to be well and healthy. I am grateful to have this tapping from you today to release some of the saddness of so many years. Today I will be doing SoulCollage with a dear friend and I hope to heal with that and your tapping.
    Thank you.

  17. Sam Giscombe says:

    I woke up this morning feeling stressed about painful past events- must say though that the “tapping” has helped me tremendously.I feel an immediate calm and peacefulness in bothy emotions and physical feelings thank-you

  18. cynthia says:

    Thank you for the encouragement.

  19. Kathy says:

    thank you Nick and team, for giving so much, and even without payment. I dont have much money but have managed to gain much from your information on social media and YouTude. This is a sign of a true healer, you are a blessing. Kathy

  20. Cat Cabot says:

    Nick, thank you so much for this post! It is exactly what I needed! I have been tapping every day for a little more than a week now, and I can feel my anxiety melting away! :0)

  21. Sibylle says:

    Thank you, Nick. Tapping is the one tool that I use for stress relief that has never failed to work. It feels so good and safe to know that whenever something comes up, I’ll be able to deal with it. I admire you for being such a powerful ambassador of this technique – I wish i could convince everyone I know to use it. It has helped me go off medication for depression at a time when my marriage was on the rocks and I was suddenly alone with our small son. No pill has such long-lasting and beneficial effect.

  22. Britni says:

    This stuff has helped me immensely!! It just peels away the layers one at a time! I really can see myself and the things that need addressing! I love how honest I can be with myself when tapping and having the power to let it go! I’m so glad I found your tapping summit when I did! It has cleared up so much emotional baggage I have carried around for years! My life has changed for the better! Even my 9yr old son is intrigued by this! Thank you so much! Keep up the great work you and your family are doing!

  23. Corina Yardley says:

    Hi Nick, I am a big fan of EFT and some what new to it. I really appreciate all of the wonderful things you and your family done for so many people. Books published, world summits, fund raisers and so much more. You are truly angels!! Thank you you have given me hope when it was hard to find. When I hear all of the amazing work you have done in Rowanda and at Sandy Hook Elementary I just cry with joy. It makes me want to do more for others. I have a son in juvenile justice center in long term secure care. He knows about tapping and does it somtimes which helps him to stay positive. I send him phrases and incouragement but it’s difficult for him to do by himself and under those circumstances. I am trying to figure out a way to get the facility supervisor to approve tapping a part of their therapy. I have looked for life coaches in this area that do tapping but haven’t been able to find any. I have a meeting with her on Monday 14th I plan to bring the subject up and of course I’ve been tapping on it. I wonder if you have any suggestions or know anyone in area to help me. I know these boys could benifit so much from this and it would be life changing for some as their past have been full of much trauma and heartache. These boys need to learn to forgive themselves and others in order to move forward. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so very much for all you do and the many lives you have changed for the better. Love and Gratitude Ꮬ CORI Ꮬ I live in cedar city Utah

  24. Ileana Garcia says:

    Thank you Nick. I just did the tapping with your email and release so much rage. I cried, stomp and seated a lot, them felt calm and peace moving trough my body. I learned the EFT on one of your videos and I am very grateful to you and your sister (she was interviewing you. It is really a wonderful tool. Keep helping others. God bless you.

  25. Barbara says:

    What is the difference in adding the phrasing forgive myself in the karate chop position?

  26. Elizabeth, Flight Attendant, California says:



  27. Maria says:

    Hi there, I tried tapping online with your podcast a few months ago. Within a few days, I noticed that I wasn’t stressing anymore over the issues I tapped about! , and I’m still not! I was seriously shocked! Thank you and I will continue as needed!

  28. Rosemary says:

    The most powerful feelings I experience are usually around the problem of food and weight.

    I know that the advice to include chocolate, cupcakes, cookies, burgers, french-fries, ice cream, pizza and alcohol in our eating is based on the idea that deprivation makes us want to eat more. However it is my experience that those foods, especially if they are made at commercial outlets, are so laden in fat, sugar and salt that they increase our appetite rather than help us to manage it. If we eat them, we should make them at home with moderate quantities of fat, sugar and salt so they don’t have the addictive quality and the overwhelming super-sensation that the commercial ones do.

    If you visit the website of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, you can visit IView and watch an interesting series of programs called, “The men who made us thin.” It shows how the junk food companies and the dieting industry are keeping us fat. There are some earlier programs called “The men who made us fat” which show how the substitution of corn syrup into much of our food together with the promotion of super sized quantities have had a disastrous effect on us.

    I have gradually dropped those heavy foods and replaced them with healthy home made meals and some low-fat microwave meals for when I am tired. The result is that I feel more satisfied most of the time. I carry a chocolate bar in my bag in case I really want it but it often stays there for so long that I throw it out and replace it with another one. I have a small scoop of ice cream sometimes for dessert and sometimes some dried pineapple but those are my only treats.

    The crucial thing for me is to not get too tired. Once I get too tired, I don’t much care what I do to myself. Add in a bit of stress and I can start throwing high calorie food in my mouth. I have been slowly and steadily losing weight and enjoying food more as a result of this change of emphasis.

    I haven’t found that going into the past to solve my eating problems has helped much. What makes the difference is how I am managing my life now. A change that helped me to turn things round was carrying a small diary and writing my feelings as I went through the day so the I slightly distanced myself from my feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them. Doing this for a few months has really changed my habits.

  29. Esther says:

    Thank you Nick for the reminder! It’s amazing how we (I) forget about this simple, yet powerful tool, that is always with us and accessible.

    Keep the reminder going, I am sure many of us need it!!!!

    Love Esther

  30. Dennis T says:

    Thank you Nick. The feelings of going thru a marriage seperation are deep. I allow the feelings of sadness & regret to go. They no longer serve me and keep me stuck./

  31. I nearly died says:

    Last week I nearly left it too late to call the ambulance. As I lay in the emergency ward, I felt confused and dizzy and strange and I dimly realised that my life was in danger. Thanks to the skilful kindness of the doctors and nurses I survived. When I did the tapping this morning, it focused me on how scared I feel that I came so close to dying. I let myself feel the emotions this morning of fright, shock and disbelief. I realise now how many life threatening things I have done, like eating whole boxes of chocolates and whole pizzas. I was flirting with death, pretending that there were different rules for me than for other people. Letting myself feel the emotions around this has helped me to re-think my priorities but I will need to allocated time to my own health if I am going to maintain this understanding.

  32. joyce says:

    Yes thank you I felt the emotion of the moment. The forgiveness almost made me cry! Joyously

  33. Rita says:

    Thank you, Nick, for continually sharing and encouraging “healing”!!! Blessings to you and all who are a part of it! 🙂

  34. Deb says:

    I watched the tapping video with Louise Hay and felt like I could maybe try this!? I’ve been having anxiety about an upcoming trip and long flight. I don’t know how or why it worked but it did!!!! I felt empowered after only a few sessions. 😉

  35. Cheryl says:

    Thanks for this, Nick. I had been drifting into rote tapping, almost aimless tapping, while grappling (and I still continue to do so) with painful loss. It brough out tears but also a sense of relief. I wanted to do more, but a delivery interuppted! So I will get back to it but thank you for asimple and effective tapping sequence… and a healing sequence!


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