Just over a year ago, I wrote a blog post called, “When to ‘not’ meet the Dalai Lama”. It received a ton of comments and inspired a wonderful discussion about the choices we make in our lives. To sum it up, I had a chance to meet the Dalai Lama but passed on it in order to take better care of myself and particularly in order to spend some more time with my uncle from Argentina whom I only got to see every 5 years or so.
Little did I know then, when I made that decision, that my uncle would pass away just a year later, and that that evening would be the last chance I had to spend time with him. So while I was very said when he passed away, I felt gratitude for the time we spent together, and for making that choice. I’ve re-shared the blog post below; I think it’s a powerful reminder of how important it is to spend time with family, to take care of ourselves, and to savor every moment.
As you may know, I’m passionate about personal growth and healing- finding ways to improve my life, the lives of those I love, and now people around the world. That passion is what drives me on a daily basis.
However, the other day, I asked myself, “Are there times when you can have too much personal growth and healing?”
I’ve been in the world of personal growth/development/self-help/alternative healing for a long time. I have to credit my parents for my initial exposure, probably in early high school (or it might even have been middle school!). I still distinctly remember my Dad’s Nightingale-Conant tape sets. About the size of a large binder, with a big picture of the expert on the cover (Earl Nightingale, Zig Ziglair, Brian Tracy, and others) and an enticing subject matter, “Lead the Field”, “A View From The Top” and others. My dad would buy them, I would borrow them and start filling my brain with this amazing information.
My mom played a big part with one purchase in particular. She is often lovingly teased in the family about her love of QVC and the Home Shopping Network, and while I find a few of her TV purchases questionable, when she bought one of Tony Robbins’ courses, she made the right move. 🙂 I “borrowed” it as I did my father’s tapes and was hooked. And thus the road to a lifelong thirst for information that could improve my life was paved. One of my roommates after college joked that I should just have my headphones surgically implanted since they were constantly in my ears!
All that to say, I love this stuff. I love listening to Wayne Dyer, and Carolyn Myss and Louise Hay. When I come home from the “I Can Do It’s” that I speak at, I listen to the other speakers. This is my life.
So the other day, when faced with an amazing opportunity to join my friend Scarlett Lewis to visit with the Dalai Lama, the choice seemed an obvious one. The Dalai Lama! What an opportunity- what an honor! I would be accompanying Scarlett (along with Dr. Lori Leyden), so this wasn’t a meeting for me personally, but still… to hear him speak, to learn from him, to be in his presence.
Initially, I said “Yes! I’ll be there!” but as the date neared, something stirred inside me that was telling me otherwise.
That stirring said, “You’re tired.” I had just spent the weekend speaking in Atlanta at an ‘I Can Do It’ conference and had some very early morning flights.
It told me, “There are no missed opportunities. Your uncle is coming to visit from Argentina, someone you only see every 5 years or so at most.”
And finally, that stirring said, “Stay home”.
Of course, my passionate impulses wanted to reject all those stirrings. I wanted to keep moving forward, at breakneck speed, meeting people, connecting with them. “What if I can share tapping with the Dalai Lama?” “How great would it be to get a picture with him?” “What might I learn from him?”
And while there’s nothing wrong with those thoughts or moving forward, something told me it was time to slow down.
Something said to me, “What might your uncle have to teach you?” “What might those extra precious hours with your family be like?” “What would the Dalai Lama do?!?” 🙂
I’m sure you can guess the choice I made: I politely declined the invitation and stayed home. Of course, there was a part of me that tugged and said, “What if you made a mistake?!?” But when I did some tapping on it, I got real clarity and comfort that this was the right decision.
The result?
A lovely evening with my family, on a beautiful Connecticut night, drinking some great wine and hearing stories from my uncle from decades past. Stories of how my parents met (I knew the basics but got more details), stories about my grandfather who I didn’t know, stories about me as a kid, stories that nourished a part of my soul like nothing else could. Connection with those I love and a memory that will last a lifetime.
And guess what? If I had gone and seen the Dalai Lama and had a chance to chat with him, he probably would have said, “What are you doing here? You should be with your family…” haha! But seriously, I think his advice would be to do what I did, to slow down, to connect with my family, to drink some great wine, enjoy a beautiful May evening in Connecticut and just BE.
1. There are no missed opportunities. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that. You’ve got to make sure that it’s not just fear or self-sabotage holding you back (and you can tap on that), but oftentimes, you simply need to say “No” or “Not now”
2. Let that Inner Knowing guide you. When you know, you KNOW. I’ve been more and more surprised on a daily basis just how strong and wise my intuition can be. But you’ve got to listen to it. Again, tapping can help you gain that clarity. When you can’t make a decision or feel stuck… “Even though I can’t make this decision…” Just a few minutes of tapping and you’ll be surprised about the clarity you experience.
3. Don’t take yourself, or others, too seriously. One of my favorite parts about my evening with my family? We laughed. Deep, hearty chuckles at great stories, old jokes, and being together. That nourishes the soul in the deepest of ways. That evening wasn’t about the next big thing, or spiritual growth or improving myself, it was just about BEING.
Of course, I’m just as passionate today about personal growth, about finding ways to improve my life. I’m busy at work today, moving forward, learning, helping, healing. And because I took that time, to just “BE”, I can bring more of myself, my best self, to this work.
So take some time to find that balance for yourself. When is it time to slow down and recharge? Are you pushing just a little too hard? Or when are you reaching for things that seem “spiritual” or about “personal growth” but in fact disconnect you from the essence of your life?
And remember, the answer to all these questions is deep inside you. You KNOW.
Until next time…
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
Copyright © 2024 The Tapping Solution, LLC
Nick I have watched read and listened to you over the past few years. Your evolution and message have been both inspiring and supportive during a time where I have explored so much Personnal growth . One of many teachers who have shown up in my life .
Today I take a moment to honour the times I have made the decision to BE and continue to step forward in completing my book The Art of BE ING your own Counsel.
Much Gratitude
I agree with your decision to stay home. Missed moments with family cannot be captured once they are gone and we don’t want to live a life full of regrets. My father passed five years ago and his philosophy was come visit me when I am a live not at my funeral when it is too late.
It is difficult though to find the balance on what we should and shouldn’t do when opportunities are knocking. If we take the road to the right, it is one journey, if we take the road to the left it’s another. In the end, we do need to listen to our intuition and trust that it will take us in the right direction, which is why we are given the gift.
Nick:
I thought that you made the right decision. Slowing down and spending time with family is so important.
As an aside, do you know of any articles on how tapping can overcome anticipatory anxiety, staying alone at nights and getting your confidence back to do things. Your lives are so filed. I struggle to live. Please keep this confidential
enjoyed your blog.Made me realize to slow down and enjoy some quiet time with family
Hi Nick, I’m sorry for your loss of your uncle but glad you took care of yourself, followed your intuition, and got to spend a wonderful evening with him. Your story reminds me of a bittersweet lesson in following my own intuition. The night before my grandfather died he apologized to me for being such a burden ( I was his primary caretaker) and he told me he loved me, something he never usually said. I remember telling my husband that night and saying, “I hope he’s not going to die.” The next day the house was filled with so much energy I was feeling anxious and irritable. As I was leaving for work something told me to go in and tell him he wasn’t a burden and that I loved him. I was running late and I remember walking back and forth between my car and the front door about eight times. At one point it felt like something was physically pushing me towards the door. I don’t know why, but I turned around and got back in my car and left. That night I came home to find my grandfathers body in his favorite chair in front of the t.v. He was gone. I was devastated and riddled with guilt. A few days later when my father came up for the funeral, I took a private moment with him to tell him how much it had meant to me that he learned all the words to the song we danced to at my wedding. Our relationship had always been rocky and prior to the funeral it had been about 3 years since we last spoke. He wasn’t really receptive or engaging in conversation, but that was okay. Six weeks later my sister called to tell me my father died. I am very grateful that I listened to that inner voice and left my father with loving words at our final visit. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending thoughts of love and comfort to you and your family.
That was an awesome story! Loved it! I think you made the right decision in spending time with your uncle! Family is so important and we are not promised tomorrow. It reminded me of my Granny. She used to tell us stories of her past and we would be rolling in the floor laughing with her. I loved my granny very much and enjoyed every moment with her. Laughing and enjoying yourself definately does wonders for your heart and soul. Thank you for sharing your story. It was awesome!
Thank you !!! I have spent the past 25 years dedicated to my personal growth. Just returned from Peru which spun my world around, I was on my way to Mt Shasta to honor the mountain but with the fires I thought Yosemite was an alternative…..packed my Honda element with a week’s provisions, went to the bank, gases up and turned right instead of left to go home. Woke this morning in a “what the?”. Only to read this post….THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, time to go into my studio and see what comes out.
Thank you !
Nick,
First, sorry about your uncle’s passing. I am happy that you spent time with him. It means a lot to be with family and understand your roots–especially if you have or plan to have children. Visualize meeting the Dali Lama and it will happen.
I wish you the best,
Rosanna
IT’S GOOD TO SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY it’s a duty Also your lesson can show up in any place so be open to receive
Nick. You did absolutly right. Life is so qucikly changed. You can meet Dalai Lama some other time.
Mayby it’s not the right time and place but I will tell you my story:
1989-1999 I lost my broder, both my parents, my husbond and my lovely son. My husbond died 1996 very quikly in a massiv stroke and my son 1999 in a air crash and I lost all my faith and joy. He was so close to my heart and I miss him so badly.
It’s so importent that all people take care and enjoy the time that is us given today because it’s not sure that tomorrow comes.
I miss my son so much and it’s difficult for me to feel happiness in my heart again. I feel so alone but I still have my doughter and 3 small grandchildren to love. And I do that very much.
Love and God Bless you and your family. Edith
Hello Nick,
Thank you for sharing this inspirational story. My condolences for your loss and my gratitude that you spent those precious moments with your family. Your uncle and his stories, will always be with you. Stay in peace,
Pheralyn
p.s. Please also give my regards to Jessica and convey to her I’m really loving her book on tapping for weight loss. Thanks!
You just showed that you practice what you preach. You listened to your intuition.
If you had gone you would have been tapping the whole time you were there
Because the truth which you teach us to tap on is you would have felt that you should
have stayed to visit with your uncle.
This is my first time writing to you but I’ve been tapping and listening to you and
Jessica since last years World Sunnit. I work at a hospital in New Jersey taking
X-rays and when possible teaching some of my patients how to tap and directing
them to your website, and making copies of the tapping points. Thank you both
for all you do. I don’t know why more doctors are not teaching this to their patients
I plan to become a EFT practitioner.
My condolences to you and your family.
Peace and Joy
Good morning Precious Nick,
I read your teaching and loved it. It reminds one of keeping things in proper perspective. You did the right thing by not going to see Dalai Lama (a difficult choice) but you are right, he would have told you you should be with your family. It was so touching reading about your precious time with your family, enjoying, learning about your family history and just making some wonderful memories with treasured loved ones. I had the opportunity of hearing the Dalai Lama speak many years ago and what an honor and pleasure to just be in the same room with him. The energy was so powerful! You will have that opportunity again and it will be perfect. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience for us to stay on our healthy beautiful journey of life. Bless you, Jan
Your blog came at an appointrd time I believe. I too love all the spiditual positive speakers and books. Im a single parent moved to Va due to divorce. Live on a beautifulvresort. Raised my kuds here. They are here in college working have their own lives. I stilll workvforvthe resort in the marketing departmebt. Not a bad job but somethings tellingg mevtheres more. The decision Im facing is my Dad is in Pa. He is in his 80s. He is in go ok d shaoe. I sold my housr Kids gone tioo big cant afford it anylonger. Dilema is do I stay here in the life I created for mysekf ir go back to Pa to spend m ok re time with my fher fr the time we have lft tigether. The winters are bad there but its a sacrufice to be abke to spennd the time eith him just sharing little thibgs in iur lives. The memories of just goibg to Olive Gardebn our place or church tigether I have a great church life here friends but my home is gobe I hav to fibd somethibg cheaper to liv in and alk tat keeos tuggibg as t me is my Dad is in Oa and in his 80s. So to wr as p it up your article really hit home Sir. Ivwoukd love to hear you soeak abd thank you for findung me to email me yoyr stiry.
Nick you did make the right decision, and I loved reading how much you enjoyed your uncle. You will definitely get another opportunity to meet the Dalai Lama and will enjoy him and his sense of humor.
Please give my sympathies to Jessica and your family.
Love…Chooty
Good for you. You listened to your inner power and visited with your family. That is the most important decision you could have made. God gives each one of us family and it is up to us how we treat it. Good choice. Be proud of yourself. Family is part of our soul. How we treat them is part of soul growth. Thanks for sharing. That’s what makes you good at what you do. Most people are afraid(fear) to share. Sharing is soul growth. God bless. Alice
You made the right decision. That “gut intiution” never steers me wrong but when I choose not to listen, I usually wish I had. I dare say that you will have another opportunity to meet the Dalai Lama sometime in your life when the time is perfect.
Sometimes we get stuck on knowing what to do, you did the right thing about slowing down, take a look at your life and what is the most important decision for you and family. The family always wins cause they are important to you and we never know how long anyone will be here
I think you made the right decision – family and love are the top 2 items in my life
Yes, I agree with this and it happens to me often. You describe it as a “stirring”. I describe it as my “little voice”. Good article, and I needed to read that today.
Thank you so much for your beautiful, vulnerable openness about life! You absolutely made the right decision…you have had such amazing success in sharing your passion of EFT and with that, have opened doors for all of us out here just doing it! The right opportunities will always appear.
You need to take care of Nick …and sometimes getting away from the “tapping” and just being quiet is all we really need. Your story touched my heart and reminded me that “I am enough, just being!” Thank you and please don’t stop sharing–you have no idea the beautiful trust and honesty you create with all of us, and the love that is sent back to you in honor of your dialogue.
In-Joy and Gratitude,
Marypat
That was a good reminder. I needed and love it. It’s true sometimes we think about life more than living it. Thank you Nick.
Good decision Nick. If you do not respect family how to respect others even Dalai Lama.
That was a great read and so very true. We do need to stop and listen to what our inner voice is saying. God Bless!
Wow, talk about a timely article for me. I truly believe you did the right thing, I truly believe the Dalai Lama would agree you did the right thing and you have inspired me to listen to my spirit and let go of the pull/drives/pressures that have proven over and over, can never be satiated if we feed them.
Seriously…thank you; I really needed this. If you can follow you heart in this situation, I can certainly follow mine in the one I am facing.
I just downloaded your book to my e-book last night, and I’m all ready feeling encouraged by the first couple of chapters. I also partake in a lot of self-help “R&D”, always trying to “refine” my meditations, stay positive (which isn’t easy these days), “enlighten” my spirit and attitudes. I’ve always cherished the writings of authors such as Wayne Dyer, Shakti Gawain, Eckhart Tolle, (and various others who’s names aren’t coming to mind off hand). I also was briefly involved with acupuncture back in the 90’s, which I found very “grounding” and comforting. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to continue my visits, so I’m eagerly anticipating similar results from practicing the “art” of tapping. Thank-You for your generous sharing of this wonderful power with our “troubled” species.
You did the right thing go with your gut feeling . Listen to the inner voice, the Spirit within , and you’ll usually do the right thing. Thanks for sharing . Toni Mullins
I believe you made the right decision, one that you could not regret under any circumstance. The opportunity to meet with the Dali Lama was bound to present itself again.
There is never a wrong decision! And personal growth is great, but not because we are ever broken and need to be fixed.
Wish Dr Oz had given you even 5 more minutes to show the power of EFT. I wanted to tell him that giving you and EFT more air time would have been a greater service to his audience than the time spent on the gentleman before you. But you are getting the message out there!
You rock!
With much love and appreciation for you and EFT,
From a fellow practitioner
I firmly believe that you made the right decision. You know this in heart as well. Great lesson in your story. Thanks for sharing. Your inspiration constantly moves me.
Sincerely,
Pam T. Huggins
Oh, Nick!! Thank you for sharing your humanity with us.
With love from Italy! Judy Rosso xoxoxo
The way you FEEL after the time with your family, tells you that it was the right decision for you. Following INNER GUIDANCE above all else, brings priceless reward.
KOKO!
Wendy
I think you were right to stay home. sometimes we all need to do that; just stop and BE
I HAVE NEGLECTED TO DO TAPPING RECENTLY AND MISS IT.MUST GET BACK TO IT AS I FELT MUCH BETTER AND WAS PAIN FREE WHEN I DID IT.
CATHERINE
Nick, I admire you for making such an intuitive decision. It was right for you at the time. Family are very important and I believe the time you spent with your family will be everlasting.
I can relate to you because my daughter just took me on a 7 day cruise on the Norwegion Gem..(a great line to cruise with.) Just the two of us from New York to Bahamas and it was just so special. We had quality time together. My son-in-law styed at home, in N.J. with my grand-son. My daughter and I had a special bonding time. So important! It was my retirement from the hospital and 70th birthday present. I shall never forget the great time I had. So, yes, I agree with you Nick.
I agree with you that you should stay at home and enjoy a good time with your precious family. You talk about Dalai Lama as if he was nearly God himself. It troubles me somehow that I feel you are a little into the mystic or eastern filosophy but I miss the real tone of Christianity, therefore I am somewhat a sittle sceptic even thouhg I would like to learn to organize many things in my life like reading the Bible every day, remembering better, working out regularly. I work very hard as a nurse, and I need to slow down too and get rid of depression and lack of vitality. But I dont want to do it without Jesus being number one. Forgive me if I am sounding critical about thing.
Hi Nick, enjoying your travels through gratitude! I gave my copies of both the DVD & book TTS also my only copy of the Tapping World Summit 2011 to Fran & Brian my TCM teachers who I met at a Sufi Workshop near ground zero in NYC. They live & teach in NJ. The Tapping materials are available in a lending library section of their studio. There is a waiting list! Fran is certified in acupuncture Brian does Yoga and massage and both teach Qigong, tai chi and traditional Chinese medicine and oh yes, middle eastern dancing & drumming. Some of their students and clients are Chinese who are redicovering their roots through this white American couple. Some of their students are allopathic MD’s learning ancient wisdoms. By the way, here in Up South aka Washington,DC; (the source of Global Warming aka Capital Hill),we enjoyed your work on diabetes with Dr. Gabriel Cousens and discovered a fossil named Try It On Everything. Keep on keeping on! from JUDSON a youngin’ (1943) who marvels at your sister”s transformation too!
There is a time for every thing.. Your time to be inthepresence of his holiness was not then. I was in his presence once .one could feel the change in the atmosphere around him.I felt a lightness especially around my shoulders. I have been practising E.F.T. For about8 months.However,3 months ago I had double lamenectomy with removal of a cyst of my right sciatic nerrv. I have restarted myE.F.T. Ifeel there might be substance to the Reptalian brain or to the sub conscious.I firmly believe that we have the Divine gift of self healing.Afterall The greatest healiner of all times——Jesus the CHRIST told us so—-Greater things that I do you will be able to do!
Does it matter what anybody else thinks? You made the right decision for you 🙂
I like your story and the way you wrote it to share with us. Such decisions are personal and will be different for different people depending on the circumstances at that moment. I agree with you about what you learned from this exercise – No missed opportunities, let your inner knowing guide you, and don’t take yourself and others seriously. Thanks for sharing. God bless us.
Hi Nick, i think it was a very wise and intuitive decision to stay home. You listened to you intuition, we should do that all the time. I am still having my difficulties here and there, but it never failed me. Last week i was in school(doing some additional schooling) when a friend of mine called if i dont want to attend Barbra Streisand concert in Cologne which i denied weeks ago, cause it was just too expensive. Well this time i said yes, it was an opportunity for 1/2 price and it just came to me. Thank you Universe. It was a pnce in a lifetime experience and i am grateful for that. And yes self-healing is possible, i have tried a few little healings on myself. Tappoing, i still have some difficulties on applying thise, but i hope i get there.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story
luv and good wishes
andrea
Dear Nick,
in personal growth and spirituality, there are no “authorities”.
There are just different people having different approaches to the same thing. Yes, experience can help but not necessarily. There are moments when you can learn more from a cat than from a human.There are no such thing like “more developed” person than the rest. But there are people more open than the rest.
Its all about being open.
No hierarchy in spirituality, remember.
So, you choose your road to openness.And attract people accordingly.
Being with family is priceless! They are our roots. Life gets busy so it is the bonding with our family that re-affirms us and from this we receive a wonderful glow and we can just BE.
You did what was right for you by paying attention to your intuition. Or by paying attention to your soul and by doing this thats what makes it right for you. It has nothing to do with the Dalai Lamaa but every thing to do with whats right for you and your journey. Too often we don’t pay attention to our intuition and we listen to our head and that either makes us unhappy or gets us in trouble. And we do not know this is your last chance to go see the Dalai Lama. That could still be in your future. Good for you for taking care of yourself and your family. We can get caught up in more is better to get it all in or we might miss something. I say bull to that. We or at least I need to stop and smell the roses. To enjoy what is around me before it passes me by. And their was a reson that I was born into the family that I was born into so I need to cherish every moment that I have with them. Time goes by so quickly before we know it someone is gone and that moment has passed. And shame on me if I didn’t take the time to build some memories with that person! So thumbs up to you! Tamara
Hum, that would have been a tough one for me! In the end, I agree: there can be such a thing as a ” spiritual quest overload” , and sometimes, instead of turning outward for another moment of guidance, we must learn to turn inward, touching base with ourself and our loved ones….
I really liked the story. Good choice. At times its hard to make a decision when you have 2 things pulling you into 2 different directions. It’s about slowing down, going inside for the answer. Thanks Nick, you are doing all of us a great service. Have you read: “Emissary of Light” by James Twyman. You may find it very interesting. I’m going to reread it again now. So much information to process and begin to integrate into my life. Monica
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It so true that we at times need to slow dowm, recharge, enjoy the company of loved ones.
Thank you for reminding me of the importance of listening to ones inner voice and slowing down enough to enjoy an eveining with family and friends. I will cherish your story and pass it on.
Your note about slowing down and your “Being” within the family time was so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. It is inspiring and wonderful to be reminded of these cathartic and meaningful experiences that greatly enrich one’s life.
I have been wrestling with the balancing act of being a wife, home maker and mother of four beautiful children ages, 8, 10, 12, and 14. I was a cardiac RN, BSN for 13 years, stayed home after our 4th child was born and recently graduated as a Certified Health Coach. I am SO passionate about helping others as a health coach! However, I am struggling with fitting it in with the kiddos and all. Your note reminds me that children/family are number one – but I REALLY want to help others enrich their lives by way of health coaching! : ) tap…tap…tap…
We will really need the extra income here soon also as my children are all in private school and soon our oldest will be in private H.S. big bucks!!! Hummm.
Thanks for listening. : )
Thanks again for touching my life in such a positive way!
Gratefully and Sincerely,
Jane
Slowing down and connecting with your family is priceless.
The loving bond is healing growth .
I agree with this. When the great and peaceful Dalai Lama came to London a few years ago, I had a choice to meet him or manage along the peaceful support we gave of hanshakes all the way from the Royal Albert Hall to the Chinese Embassy for Avaaz. It was the warmth of the ordinary, peaceful folks lining the streets with handshakes that I may perhaps believe the Dalai Lama would appreciate more.
Recently returned from a holiday with friend of 47 years and others. Fabulous time and totally recharged, or at least I thought so. On arriving home registered for big session on personal growth and business information. Last three or four days have mused over this and realise that still need to continue the nurturing of self. So – no go, staying home with family and friends. Yes, there are definitely times when one really needs to say no to that pull that may undo all the healing that has taken place over (in my case) the last six or seven weeks. Life is precious, Tapping helps keep me on an even keel.