The Tapping Solution Blog

  1. Published Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

    by Nick Ortner
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    So you feel like nothing is working, huh? Or you’re frustrated that everyone else is getting great results with life  or whatever you’re trying at the moment (like EFT) and you’re not? Welcome to the club you didn’t even know you belonged to.  The club that nobody knows they’re a member of because each individual person thinks their problem is unique and they’re alone!

    The club of one that is actually the club of many…(but it’s still exclusive, don’t worry)

    Let me tell you a little bit about the members of this club, to see if you fit the description.

    Do you fit these descriptions?
    Members in this club are loving, caring people who truly want to make a difference in the world.  They’re looking to improve themselves, to support and help those around them, and they’re super dedicated to getting healthy, experiencing joy in their life and living a life of abundance.

    Members in this club are also often frustrated, can get angry, sad or sometimes lonely (and then they get frustrated at themselves for feeling those feelings), experience frequent or infrequent cases of pain, jealousy, grief, fear, and a myriad of other ‘negative” emotions.

    Members in this club look around at everyone else and say, “Why does it work for her?”  “Why is she skinny and I’m not?” “Why is he rich and I’m not?” “Why are they happy and I’m not?”
    And then, of course, members in this club feel bad for having these thoughts and feelings! Because they truly are caring…loving…people…

    Do you fit the description? Thought so! It’s my pleasure and honor to welcome you to the club…now, I also wanted to let you know about an exclusive opportunity to join a new club (this club is invite-only, no fees and you can’t buy, talk or sneak your way in…)

    The New (even more exclusive) Club
    The way you join this new club is really quite simple.  Just take a few minutes to read its principles below and, voila! You’re in!

    In this new club, everything in your life works perfectly.   There’s no such thing as things going “wrong” because the concept doesn’t even exist in this club.  The members in this club are huge on forgiveness, accepting themselves as they are, changing from a place of self-love, not self-loathing.  The members of this club are huge on cutting themselves, and others, some slack.

    Here are two of the founding principles this club works on (more to come in the future)

    1.  You’re amazing and doing just as well as everyone around you.  You’re not losing. You’re not falling behind.  You’re perfect. One of the challenges that some of our modern technology brings, particularly Facebook, is that people look around at others people’s lives, see them smiling, happy in pictures, read about their accomplishments, read about the amazing things they’re doing and then say…”I’m not doing enough” or, even worse, “I’m not enough”.  Fifty years ago, we just tried to keep up with the Joneses, our neighbors, the people around us and while that was bad enough, now most of us are trying to keep up with the hundreds or thousands of people we see on Facebook, twitter, or other places online.

    It’s not a healthy habit.  :)    Someone out there is always going to be doing something cool, amazing, ground-breaking, or just seem like they’re having more fun than we are and we need to cheer them on without casting judgment on ourselves.   I know it’s easier said than done, it’s almost human nature (I say “almost” because I think you can move beyond it), to compare ourselves to others.

    The same goes when you compare yourself to the “gurus” out there who are teaching you new concepts, ideas, and ways of being.  Trust me, I’ve met the gurus, and they’re just as human as you are.  Are they amazing people doing great work in the world?  Yes, they are.  Do they have challenges just like you do? Absolutely.  It’s ok to get excited about someone, to follow their message, even to put them up on a pedestal a little bit as someone to admire and strive to be like.  That’s ok, AS LONG AS….when you put them up on a pedestal, you’re not putting YOURSELF down.   Does that make sense? It’s a subtle distinction but an important one.

    2.  Some New, Very Advanced, Setup Phrases.  :) For me personally, one of the most powerful elements of EFT is the setup phrase, “Even though I ______ (fill in the blank with the problem, emotion, belief, etc.), I deeply and completely accept myself”   Just doing that tapping by itself can have profound results, as we acknowledge that we’re ok, as we are.  We bring forth and speak how we feel, what we believe, and then let ourselves know, “hey bud, that’s OK.”  In a society where we are keeping up with the Joneses on Facebook, where we are told by the media that we’re not skinny enough, rich enough, smart enough or happy enough, this acknowledgment, along with the physical tapping, can be extremely powerful.

    I’ve formulated some new setup phrases for you to experiment with.  Be careful, they’re powerful, members-only phrases and they might result in extreme joy, peace and self-loving.

    Pick an issue that has been bothering you, or a general feeling you’ve been having recently, or a belief that keeps coming up.  The more specific you are, the better results you’ll get on that issue, but general is ok here too.

    I’m going to use the general feeling of “stress” for our examples.

    (If you need help with the tapping points or a general description of the process, click here)

    Start tapping on the karate chop point.  (Usually we do three setup statement on the karate chop points, we’re going to do several more this time)

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’ve been stressing for so long, I don’t know how to stop, I’m finding new, easy ways to change this pattern now…

    Karate Chop:  Even though stress is what I do, I find myself doing something else now!

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m so used to stressing, beating myself up, finding what’s wrong with me, I’m taking a time out from that self-abusive behavior, and choosing to love myself right now…

    Normally, we’d go on to tapping a shorter reminder phrase for every point, i.e. eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, under the mouth, collarbone, under the arm, and top of the head…

    But I’d like for you to try tapping through each point, saying all the phrases above, again and again.

    So tap the eyebrow point and say: Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…

    And then side of the eye: Even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…

    And keep going…again and again until you take such a deep breath and feel soooooooo good that you think it’s a good time to stop.

    (make sure you do this tapping NOW, there’s no better time!  Just take 10 minutes!)

    This Just In…Breaking News…
    Wow, just got word…this is exciting indeed…. you, yes, YOU, have been formally accepted into this new club.  You’ve done it! Congratulations! Well done! I really felt like you’ve deserved this spot for years.   I guess it just took a little while for you to figure out you deserved it too…

    I’m sure you’re experiencing some of the club privileges already…you know, all that self-love, self-acceptance, joy, peace and other fun stuff…

    It’s an honor and a deep privilege for me to be in this club with you.  I hereby place you on a pedestal.  What’s that you say? Oh, you’d like to put me on a pedestal as well? Why, that’s very kind of you…oh, I see, we’re now BOTH up on a pedestal AND eye to eye.

    Very smart of you…

    I look forward to seeing you at our next club meeting…until then….

    Keep tapping!

    Nick Ortner


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    Attention New Club Members: Share your experience, comments and thoughts below! (Note: Exclusive club members are so full of joy, self-love and positive emotions that they’re just bursting to share it on the blog with others – just FYI :)   )
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  2. Jan 19

    The ONE most important thing I’ve learned…

    This post was published by Nick Ortner

    Published Thursday, January 19th, 2012

    by Nick Ortner.
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    There’s one thing I’ve learned to have for myself and for others in the past ten years of studying, using and teaching EFT.  This ONE thing could make all the difference in how you approach the world  and your experience in it.  In a lot of ways, this thing is the one of the foundational elements of tapping, as we see in the setup statement, “Even though I (fill in the blank with your problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.

    What’s implied in this statement?  What one thing must you have for yourself and others?

    Think about the setup statement.   Within it, you’re acknowledging what your issue is, speaking the truth about it, how you feel, what you believe, and so forth, while at the same time, you’re accepting yourself, loving yourself, forgiving yourself “even though” you have that issue.  I’ve seen people have incredible breakthroughs just from the setup statement, just from that acknowledgment of where they are and that self-compassion.

    Beyond the setup statement bringing forth compassion for yourself, you can also do specific tapping to further that compassion.  I’ll share some ideas on what you can do below.

    But first, let’s take a look at having compassion for others.

    Compassion for Others

    Working one-on-one with clients and hearing their stories has opened my eyes tremendously to the reality of what people around me face on a daily basis, and what they’ve experienced in their lives.  You can imagine that when I work with people, and they feel safe, they tend to share with me their most painful experiences and emotions.

    The stories I’ve heard, the pain people have experienced, have opened my heart in amazing ways.   Now, when someone is rude, or short, or angry, or acts in a way that isn’t positive, my response (as often as I remember!)  is not to judge them but rather wonder, “What might have happened to this person that they’re acting out in this way?” “What pain might they have experienced?”  and, “How can I show them love and compassion?”

    Trust me when I tell you that when someone acts in a way that disappoints you or upsets you, it’s rarely about you.  There’s just acting the way they know to act. They’re copying their parents’ actions, society’s dictates and responding emotionally based on their formative childhood experiences.  If you react, if you judge, if you get angry, all you’re doing is perpetuating the patterns, and continuing the problem.  If instead, you show love, compassion, and an open-hearted response, you have the opportunity and the ability to heal the situation.

    Let’s do some tapping for both!

    Compassion for Self:

    This is a very GLOBAL issue, and we always want to try to get to the SPECIFIC.  So start with this global tapping, and then as specific issues come up, focus on those.  So for example, if you do this tapping, and then a specific event comes to mind that you’re judging yourself about, tap on that event specifically.

    (And remember…if you don’t know how to tap yet, just watch the short “how to tap” video with my sister Jessica by clicking here).

    Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to judge myself, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop: Even though I’m sometimes hard on myself, I choose to love myself now…
    Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to find compassion for myself, I choose to find compassion now…

    Eyebrow:  All this judgment…
    Side of the Eye:  I’m always judging myself…
    Under the Eye:  Why am I so hard on myself…?
    Under the Nose:  Where did I learn to have so much judgment…?
    Under the Mouth:  Why am I always judging myself…?
    Collarbone: All this judgment…
    Under the Arm: I’m so hard on myself…
    Top of the Head: Always beating myself up…

    Keep tapping through the points, again and again, until you find relief and you feel like you can say the positive statement.

    Eyebrow: I choose to forgive myself now…
    Side of the Eye: I choose to have compassion for myself…
    Under the Eye:  I forgive myself…
    Under the Nose: I’m doing the best I can…
    Under the Mouth:  With the resources I have…
    Collarbone:  Forgiving myself…
    Under the Arm: Letting it go…
    Top of the Head:  Letting all this judgment go…

    Keep tapping on the positive rounds, again and again, until you feel that it’s really sunk in.  (and you can obviously do this at any time!)

    Compassion for Others

    As with the previous tapping, this is also very GLOBAL tapping, so start with this and then if SPECIFIC events come up, tap on those.  So for example, you might start with this general tapping and then think of someone that you are specifically judging for something they did or are doing.  Tap on that specifically!

    Karate Chop:  Even though I have a tendency to judge others, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop:  Even though I keep judging what others do, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m used to judging others, I  choose to change this pattern now…

    Eyebrow:  All this judgment…
    Side of the Eye: I keep judging others…
    Under the Eye:  I’m always judging the people around me…
    Under the Nose: I can’t stop judging them…
    Under the Mouth: I’ve always judged them…
    Collarbone: All this judgment for others…
    Under the Arm:  This judgment…
    Top of the Head: This pattern of judging others…

    Keep tapping on the above rounds until you’re ready to move on to the positive rounds.

    Eyebrow:  I choose to forgive…
    Side of the Eye: I choose to let go…
    Under the Eye: I choose to release this judgment…
    Under the Nose: Releasing this pattern of judgment…
    Under the Mouth: Letting it all go…
    Collarbone:  It’s time to stop judging…
    Under the Arm:  It’s time to forgive…
    Top of the Head:  It’s time to forgive myself and others…

    What was your experience with this tapping? Do you have compassion for yourself? Do you have compassion for others? :) Comment below!

    Nick Ortner

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  3. Published Sunday, January 15th, 2012

    by Nick Ortner.
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    A few weeks back, my friend and fellow Hay House author Meggan Watterson approached me to help her with her fear of public speaking. Meggan and I are sharing the stage in just a few months in San Jose, at the I Can Do It – IGNITE! event, and she was feeling very nervous about the speech. (If you want to learn more about the event, see the banner below, or follow this link, I’d love to meet you there!) Cheryl Richardson, New York Times bestselling author and Hay House star, had recommended to Meggan that she try using EFT for her anxiety and to make the experience a positive and enjoyable one.

    Meggan had often taken the stage before, with extremely positive feedback from her audiences, but she always read her speeches behind a podium and didn’t feel fully comfortable with the experience. For the Hay House event, she wouldn’t have a podium and was planning on speaking without a set script.

    As we began our session, I asked Meggan to visualize being on stage, without the podium or her written speech, and to tell me what she experienced and particularly what she felt in her body. I find that focusing on the body sensations is a great way to get started addressing any fears, particularly public speaking, because it helps us connect more fully to the feelings and determine what’s really going on. She shared with me that she felt a constriction in her chest and throat when she thought about the event; not a surprising place for a fear of public speaking! I asked her to give it a number and she shared that it was a 7 on a 0-10 scale.

    We began tapping with some very simple statements:

    Even though I have this constriction in my chest and throat, I deeply and completely accept myself…

    Even though something feels stuck in my throat, I deeply and completely accept myself…

    Even though I have this anxiety in my chest and throat, I chose to relax now…

    We kept tapping through various statements and the points, until she could no longer feel the constriction in her chest and throat. I then had her go back to the image of herself speaking up on stage at the Hay House event, and asked her how she felt about it and what she saw. She shared that she felt better, and saw the speech going well, but only “once she got started, I think getting started is going to be tough.” What was this? Of course, another ASPECT of the issue.

    An ASPECT is a particular element of the fear or memory and it’s important to search for all the different aspects in order to get the best results. She had cleared out the stuck energy in her chest and throat, and then something else came up. So we tapped on this issue, until it cleared and she shared that she felt she’d get off to a great start.

    I continued to ask her to visualize the event and look for anything that didn’t feel right. I even added to the potential pressure, on purpose, in order to make sure everything was clear. For example, I had her visualize the audience not smiling when she first came out, to see if that would bring up any anxiety. The audiences at Hay House are great and extremely receptive and welcoming to the speakers, but I wanted to “push her buttons” a little bit, to make sure we handled all the aspects.

    This process continued, again and again, digging deeper and deeper, until she could no longer find any anxiety, stress or worry about the speech. Instead, she reported that, “I’m actually excited for this and starting to think about what I want to discuss. And I could never go there before because I was too terrified of the whole experience!”

    Important: The way to get lasting results with fears or phobias is to dig deep and address all the aspects of the issue. This is a time when it’s good to look for what’s wrong, to identify problems, to poke at yourself and see how it feels!

    Fear of Flying and Deep Seated Safety Issues
    Meggan was delighted with how she felt and we were about to sign off from the call when she shared with me that she was excited to use EFT on a deep fear of flying that she had, especially since she was going to have to fly to the Hay House event! The fear of public speaking had only taken 30 minutes to address, so I offered to continue helping her with the fear of flying and she agreed. She shared with me that fifteen years earlier, her sister and her had flown together on a small airplane, and the flight was the worst experience of her life. From the start, the turbulence was unlike any she had ever experienced, with the small plane dropping several feet at once, again and again.

    She was sure she was going to die, the pilot didn’t say a word to reassure the passengers, and the muted cries and screams of the people around her made everything worse. They finally landed safely, but to Meggan’s mind and body, the trauma of the experience never left her. She had worked on healing and had made progress, but at the deepest level, the trauma was still there, and affecting her life in all sorts of ways.

    This wasn’t just a fear of flying that we were working on together, it was a deep seated fear about life, about safety, about who she was in the world and not having to be on alert all times. That one experience had taught Meggan that she needed to be on alert at all times, that the world inherently wasn’t a safe place and that her body wasn’t safe either.

    I used the “Tell The Story” technique with Meggan, asking her to recount to me what happened while tapping at the same time. I could tell from Meggan’s body language and tone that just talking about the issue brought her some anxiety, so I was careful to move slowly through the story and told her that if she ever felt the emotional intensity was too high, or if she didn’t feel safe, we could back away from the experience. This is one of the great things about working with people on Video Skype or in person, the visual cues are so important to recognize and help people with.

    Meggan recounted what happened from start to finish, and I focused on helping her feel safe, guiding her with questions that brought her deeper into the experience and memory when needed and pulled her further out when necessary. She told me what happened, step by step, and tapped the whole time. Her first recounting of it was very emotional but I could see her calming down as she tapped. I then had her tell me the story again, and again, and again, until there was no emotional intensity to any element of it.

    You can use this same technique, with others or by yourself. If you’re alone, and want to work on something, just retell what happened, out loud, while tapping. Tell the story in as much detail as possible, focusing on sights, sounds, smells and especially what you’re feeling as you retell the story. Then do it again and again, digging deeper for any other aspects that might come up until you feel it’s cleared.

    At the end, when Meggan thought of the traumatic flight, she broke down in tears of joy because she was no longer experienced the fear and pain that just thirty minutes earlier was paralyzing her.

    We signed off and the next day, I received this email from her:

    “I’ve been sleeping like a teen since our call. If it weren’t for my toddler, I might still be in bed. It’s not fatigue, it feels more like make-up sleep. The part of me that was terrorized into hyper-vigilance during that flight 15 years ago, to stay awake, to keep watch, to be ever on the lookout for my safety finally took a bow and stepped down. Not trusting life takes A LOT of energy, smile. I have this visceral knowing that when the make-up sleep has run its course, I’m going to have crazy amazing energy.

    I’m so fascinated, and semi-perplexed, at the session’s effectiveness. I keep trying to conjure the fear I once had for flying, and also the naked, exposed feeling I had about speaking without a script in public and I just can’t access it. It’s not there. I remember who I am, or who I was before these fears made a home for themselves within me. I don’t get how tapping works, and I don’t need to – it just does. It was the most grounded, and grounding, exercise I’ve ever been led through and yet at the same time my logical mind still can’t grasp how doing that strange dance with words and fingers tips against my upper torso served as the catalyst for a healing that nothing medical, psychological, or therapeutic could do. Somehow the thoughts I had about the fear were circumvented to the experience itself, that still lived there in my body. Tapping accessed the actual wound and just lifted it. Poof. Tapping returned me the actual feeling of calm and safety in my body that the trauma of that flight has been blocking ever since. Like a magician pulling the white tablecloth out from under a dining set, tapping revealed that my trust in the world, in my life, has always been there – as my ground of being – the fear was simply obscuring its permanent presence within me.

    I’m a convert. Smile. A smacked-on-the-forehead–true believer-convert. My gratitude is endless.”

    -Meggan

    So What Happened?
    As we can see from Meggan’s story, these traumatic life events can have profound consequences for our whole lives. Meggan’s issue wasn’t just a fear of flying – though I’m sure she’s grateful to overcome that particular fear – it was the overall safety issue. If we don’t feel safe in our bodies, for whatever reasons, whether it be a traumatic event, childhood trauma, or any other reason, it profoundly affects how we approach life. Meggan has been a force for good in the world even before this session, I can’t wait to see what she can do now!

    What fears or phobias do you have and how might they be affecting other parts of your life? What beliefs do you have about yourself and the world because of these fears? Tap on them! What did you learn from Meggan’s story?

    Comment below and share your thoughts, experiences and questions with others.  And if you liked this story, make sure to hit the Facebook “like” button below.  :)

    Nick Ortner

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  4. Jan 05

    What’s Possible for 2012? What if…

    This post was published by Nick Ortner

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    For the past several years, Jessica has put together a f.r.e.e. audio called “What If…” that has been a huge hit.

    It’s an amazing way to use tapping to start the New Year, in a guided, easy way that only takes a few minutes (15 min. max)

    Did I mention it’s free and our gift to you? :)

    Take just a few minutes now, you’ll be glad you did…

    Please make sure to comment on the blog after you go through this powerful audio.

    Right Click and “Save” Here to Download This Audio

    Until next time…

    Keep tapping!

    Nick Ortner

     

    P.S. What if 2012 was your best year ever…

    What if making your dreams come true was a lot easier than you thought…

    What if you knew that you had all the resources inside you to make it happen…

    What if you’re smarter than you’ve ever been told…

    What if you have a great gift to give to the world…

    What if something amazing was just about to happen…

    Tap and create it by listening to the audio above.

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