The Tapping Solution Blog

  1. Published Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

    by Nick Ortner
     
     
     
    Why not all stress (and stress relief) is created equal.

    Did you know that some stress is actually good for you? In the right amounts, stress can improve brain function, make you more creative, help you get fit, lower your risk of breast cancer, Alzheimer’s, and lots more.

    It’s chronic stress—the “stress overload” you feel day in, day out—that’s silently but systematically sabotaging your health and well-being.

    Here’s the thing, though. You’re smart. You exercise, get your 7 hours, do deep breathing, yoga, meditation. You’ve even logged hours on the couch (the therapist’s couch!) , trying to get to the “root” of your stress.

    But still, you feel its effects. Even worse, stress-related disease shows up everywhere you look.

    So what gives?

    The Answer: Like stress, not all stress relief is created equal.

    Stress isn’t just in your head. Stress is also physical. (There’s load of scientific research proving this, by the way.)

    Until stress is fully released, it stays lodged in your body, in your cells, running rampant, putting your health at risk.

    Still not sure? The health-damaging effects of chronic stress are scientific fact.

    Here’s how stress damages your health (and your life, relationships, waistline, and more) in 13 sad steps:

    1. You think about something stressful—work, money, relationships, family, whatever’s bothering you.

    2. Your amygdala (in your mid-brain) senses danger.

    3. Your amygdala helps to initiate your body’s fight-or-flight response to stress.

    4. In “fight or flight”, your body releases adrenaline and the “stress hormone” cortisol, diverts blood away from your digestive tract, leaving you less able to digest food and absorb nutrients AND more likely to gain weight.

    5. In this physiological “crisis mode,” you’re more vulnerable to pain—from chronic illness, arthritis, fibromyalgia, migraines, stomach upset, and more.

    6. In this state of heightened physiological “alert”, your brain’s creative center is deemed “non-essential” and shuts down. Down goes your problem solving, your creative skills, your intuition.

    7. You feel increasingly irritable, isolated and impatient. Your relationships suffer.

    8. Stress affects your sleep. Your metabolism slows.

    9. Your body secretes even more cortisol, wreaking more havoc on your digestion (and waist line), increasing your blood pressure, lowering your immune response.

    10. After releasing too much cortisol for too long, your body goes into “adrenal fatigue.” You feel depleted, exhausted, and depressed.

    11. You no longer have the energy to adhere to your exercise routine, your healthy eating, meditation, yoga. Migraines, insomnia, stress-related hair loss, chronic pain, and any number of other issues become regular parts of your life.

    12. Battling low energy, you can hardly focus at work, and elsewhere. Your relationships suffer.

    13. Your depression deepens. You (and your body) are STRESSED OUT.

    Typical “Quick-Fix” Stress Relievers

    Alcohol
    Food
    Television
    Shopping

    You feel better, but only until the next morning or credit card statement.

    What about aerobic exercise, yoga/meditation, and “talk” therapy?

    40% of the population exercises for 30 minutes each on 1 – 4 days per week

    NO debate here. Exercise is crucial for a healthy lifestyle. Physical activity promotes the release of endorphins, known as the “feel good” neurotransmitters; makes you “smarter” and more creative by increasing blood flow (and oxygen) to your brain; and acts as “meditation in motion”, providing mental and physical stress relief.

    The reality: However critical, it’s hours, even days, after that stressful meeting with the boss, or that fight with your spouse, before you can seek out the solace of your running shoes. (If you have that healthy habit..)

    38% of Americans use “complementary and alternative medicine”, which includes yoga, meditation and other natural stress relief

    Again, NO debate here. These practices provide powerful stress relief, increased focus, creativity, and lots more.

    The reality: Yoga and meditation provide significant stress relief and other benefits that yield significant results in weeks or months with regular, frequent practice. Many who try meditation give up too soon because they feel it’s “not working.”

    What about psychotherapy? Does “talk” therapy provide lasting stress relief?

    A study performed by Dr. Dawson Church, PhD and Dr. David Feinstein, PhD, measured cortisol levels before and after treatment.

    83 participants were divided into 3 groups: the 1st group received an hour of of Tapping, a practice that combines “talk” therapy with acupressure treatments; the 2nd group received an hour of psychotherapy (“talk” therapy); the 3rd group (control group) received no treatment.

    Results: The 1st group demonstrated a 24% decrease in cortisol levels; the 2nd and 3rd groups showed no change in cortisol levels.

    The reality: Pyschotherapy alone relieves stress, but over a long period of time. The immediate benefits of psychotherapy don’t register in your body, where excessive amounts of the “stress hormone” cortisol still run rampant, putting your health at risk.

    Where’s the REAL stress relief?

    Tapping, the practice that produced a 24% decrease in cortisol after just one hour, blends Western psychotherapy or “talk” therapy with Eastern wisdom about “meridian points” or acupressure.

    Acts fast. Use anytime, anywhere. For 5 minutes or 20.

    Because it accesses your emotions and body simultaneously, it provides powerful stress relief, lowering cortisol levels faster than most traditional and alternative stress relief methods.

    Study findings: Tapping balances activity between the sympathetic and parasympathetic regions of your brain, producing “a neutral emotional state,” the gold standard of health and wellness.

    Dr. Church, PhD: Tapping “gives you the best of both worlds, body and mind, like getting a massage during a psychotherapy session.”

    More about the science behind it:

    The sympathetic region of your brain
    Prepares your body for vigorous physical activity, speeding your heart, dilating pupils, contracting blood vessels, reducing digestive secretions.

    In a perpetually active “stressed out” state, you’re more vulnerable to heart disease, high blood pressure, insomnia, weight gain, irritability, and impatience. This is what chronic stress looks like in the early stages.

    The parasympathetic region of your brain
    Prepares your body for relaxation, cell regeneration, and digestion by slowing the heart, constricting the pupils, stimulating digestive secretions, and dilating blood vessels.

    In an overactive state, you suffer from depression, weakened immune response, fatigue and diminished motivation. à This is what chronic stress looks like over time.

    The Takeaway:

    “High sympathetic / low parasympathetic ratios have been linked to both psychological and physiological disorders and may, in fact, “be the final pathway linking negative states and conditions to ill health.””
    CREDIT: Dr. Dawson Church, PhD and Dr. David Feinstein, PhD, “Modulating Gene Expression Through Psychotherapy: The Contribution of Non-Invasive Somatic Interventions”

    The Alternative:

    EFT Tapping regulates activity between these regions to achieve balanced activity and optimal health.

    Study finding: EFT Tapping is “substantially more powerful” than diaphragmatic breathing at lowering cortisol.

    Extra Benefit #1: Relieved of the excessive cortisol and “adrenal fatigue,” your body and mind re-balance. Your energy is restored, you sleep better, feel healthy again. Your metabolism is restored. Your body is again able to heal itself.

    Extra Benefit #2: The comprehensive body/mind stress relief you get from Tapping in minutes, takes hours, weeks, or months to achieve with meditation, yoga, “talk” therapy, and other treatments.

    Extra Benefit #3: If you already practice meditation, yoga, affirmations, and others, Tapping can enhance the benefits of those other practices by lowering your cortisol levels much quicker, promoting even deeper relaxation “on the cushion” and beyond.

    What it all means:

    Chronic stress is sabotaging your health and well-being, making you more vulnerable to depression, disease, and worse.

    EFT Tapping quickly relieves chronic stress on physical and mental/emotional levels.
     
     
     
    COMMENT AND WIN! One person who comments will be randomly selected to win a copy of the 2011 Tapping World Summit Platinum Package (normally sells for $297). The 2012 Tapping World Summit pre-launch will be starting on Monday, April 16th!
     
     
     

    What did you learn in the post above? Is chronic stress affecting you? What stresses you out the most? Are you committed to changing this? When? :)

     
     

  2. Published Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

    by Nick Ortner
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    So you’re trying to keep everyone happy, huh? Fun isn’t it? Have you been able to do it yet? Figured out how to keep everyone around you perfectly happy? :) Well, I’ve been struggling with this recently and thought I’d share my thoughts about it and what I’ve done to change my perspective.

    I’ve mentioned two things in my email leading to this blog post…

    1. Trying to Keep Everyone Happy
    2. Learning to Say “No”

    In a lot of ways they can be separate issues, but they have a lot of connections, so we’ll address them together. Just last week I was feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and stress, and since I don’t love that feeling and know that there’s a way to shift it, I started digging deep to find out what it was really about.

    What’s interesting about this issue is that it’s not always so obvious. If your back hurts, you know that’s a problem. If you’re angry about something that happened last week, you know to focus on that. If you feel financial pressure, you know that’s the issue.

    But I wasn’t really clear as to WHY I was feeling stressed…

    Especially since when I looked around at everything that was happening in my life, it was all GOOD things…AMAZING things in fact, that I am so grateful for.

    For example:

    1. I just wrapped up the first draft of my new book, to be published by Hay House in April of next year. It was a thrilling process to write it, amazing things happened and I’ve grown so much from the process and have such high hopes for the book (and more importantly, the message it carries)

    2. This weekend, I’ll be speaking at a Hay House event in San Jose, and sharing the stage with the people I’ve followed, learned from and loved for years, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer and Cheryl Richardson. (You can view the event this weekend, in an online stream, here)

    3. Next month, we’re launching the 4th year of the Tapping World Summit. An event that has grown from nothing to over 300,000 people last year.

    4. I have the honor, privilege and joy to communicate with YOU, over 300,000 of you..

    5. Every day I worked with an amazing team (most of them my family members!), I read emails of amazing life transformations and people using this powerful technique to change their lives.

    6. I could argue that my personal life is going even better…I’m getting married this fall to the love of my life, have amazing friends and an incredible family.

    My life is COOL… very, very, very, so grateful, so happy, so amazing, need to help others make this happen COOL kinda life.

    SO….why was I SO stressed out…overwhelmed…and a little bit miserable last week?

    I thought about all those amazing things in my life, trying to be grateful, but it wasn’t cutting it. Something else was going on. And when I took a deep breath and focused in on what was stressing me out the most, the issue of having to keep everyone happy came up.

    Let’s take a look at everything that IS amazing in my life, and see how I was turning it around:

    1. The book: Will people like it? Will the readers be happy? Will Hay House be happy with the results of the book?

    2. Speaking this weekend: There’s 2,000 people…will they like what I have to say? Will they get value from my talk?

    3. The Tapping World Summit: It’s been such a huge hit…can we do it again this year? Will our partners who promote it be happy with the results? Will the listeners be happy with everything we’ve worked so hard on?

    4. The People Who Get My Emails: Yes, that’s right. This one is about YOU. I was stressed about making you happy. (How nice of me, right?) I deeply value and treasure the relationship I have with the 300,000 + people that get my emails. It’s an honor to be able to communicate with you. And I want to keep YOU happy. Which is easier said than done when there’s 300,000 different people, having different experiences, wanting different things! So I was asking myself: Are people enjoying what I’m sharing? I want to give them even more tapping content, but I need to find more hours in the day!

    5. My amazing team: Are they happy? What else can I do to keep them motivated, to communicate better, to connect with them more?

    6. I actually wasn’t stressed out at all with my personal life. :)

    But those first five items, these incredibly things that were going on in my life, were actually weighing me down.

    I felt a lot of pressure.

    Do you ever feel pressure?

    Pressure to keep your friends and family happy? Pressure to perform at work? Pressure to meet expectations?

    Oftentimes, this pressure, often self created, comes from the delusion that it’s YOUR responsibility to make everyone around you happy. I think part of this is built into human nature, we want the people around us to be happy, with us and with their lives. But beyond that instinct, it’s easy to take it to another level, where it’s just not healthy.

    We create these expectations for what we have to do. We create this picture of having to be perfect. We want to please! And this is where the tricky part of not being able to say “no” comes in. Life is busy, there’s no arguing that for anybody these days. And it seems like it’s just getting busier, so at some point, you’re going to have to say “no” to something. There has to be a limit to what you can do IF you expect to have any true happiness and joy in your life.

    The funny thing is that as things get better, as you find more success, you’ll have more opportunities and more things to say “no” to. I’ve worked with a lot of people on finding more financial success in their lives and one of the things that comes up again and again is the fear that if they get what they want, they’ll be more busy and thus more unhappy! But I digress, that’s a whole other issue we can chat about some other time. :)

    So, making people happy and being able to say “no”. They obviously go hand-in-hand because sometimes when you say “no” to something, it can make people unhappy!

    The solution?

    Well… you saw this coming… you’ve gotta tap on it. What I did last week is to make a list of the things I was feeling pressure about and then tapped through them, some generally, some more specifically. A general tapping round looks like this:

    (If you’re not familiar with the EFT process, you can learn the basics here: www.thetappingsolution.com/how-to-tap.php)

    Tune in to the feeling of having to keep everyone happy. Feel it in your body. Is there an emotion there? Can you feel some resentment or anger? Do you feel pressure? Is it overall stress?

    Give the feeling a number on a 0-10 scale and then let’s tap on it.

    Karate Chop: Even though I have to keep everyone around me happy…I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop: Even though I feel all this pressure to keep everyone happy…I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop: Even though I’m stressed out about keeping everyone happy…I choose to relax now.

    Eyebrow: I’ve got to keep everyone happy…
    Side of the Eye: All this pressure to keep everyone happy…
    Under the Eye: How am I going to pull this off…
    Under the Nose: There’s so much to do…
    Under the Mouth: And so much pressure to do it right…
    Collarbone: What if people are unhappy with me…
    Under the Arm: I want to please people….
    Top of the Head: I want them to be happy with me…

    Take a deep breath – if your number hasn’t dropped yet, do another round.

    Then, when you feel a shift, you can move on to some positive tapping…

    Eyebrow: It’s time to relax about this issue…
    Side of the Eye: It’s not my responsibility to keep everyone happy…
    Under the Eye: Their happiness is not under my control…
    Under the Nose: I can only control what I do, and I can only do my best…
    Under the Mouth: Releasing this need to be perfect…
    Collarbone: Releasing this need to make everyone happy…
    Under the Arm: Letting it all go…
    Top of the Head: Letting it all go now….

    This is obviously a very general tapping round. REMEMBER: If something else comes up, a specific event, emotions or belief that you have, focus on that issue specifically until you clear it. Just a clue to look out for: we often develop these patterns early in life, so if you’re doing this general tapping about keeping people in your life happy now and you start remember about how you tried to please Mom or Dad, perhaps how you tried to make them happy so they wouldn’t fight or be stressed…know that that’s an important topic to address.

    If you want to clear the underlying pattern forever, going deep into those childhood roots is where you will most often have the most powerful and lasting results. It’s not always easy to go there, but you can do it. :)

    Let’s do a little more general tapping on not being able to say “no”

    Karate Chop: Even though I just can’t say no to people, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop: Even though I feel all this pressure, I have to say yes, I deeply and completely accept myself….
    Karate Chop: Even though I’m scared to say “no”, I want people to like me…I deeply and completely accept myself…

    Eyebrow: I just can’t say no…
    Side of the Eye: I want to do all these things…
    Under the Eye: And I want to make everyone happy…
    Under the Nose: I don’t want to disappoint anyone…
    Under the Mouth: So I just can’t say no…
    Collarbone: My issue with saying no..
    Under the Arm: Why can’t I say no?
    Top of the Head: I wonder where this old pattern started…

    Take a deep breath – if your number hasn’t dropped yet, do another round.

    When you feel a shift, you can move on to some positive tapping…

    Eyebrow: It’s time to relax about this issue…
    Side of the Eye: It’s safe to say no…
    Under the Eye: I can say no and people will still like me…
    Under the Nose: I can’t control what people will think of me…
    Under the Mouth: I choose to release this pressure to say no…
    Collarbone: Releasing this need to say yes…
    Under the Arm: Letting it all go…
    Top of the Head: Letting it all go now….

    Take a deep breath… and let it go…

    Again, these rounds of EFT are just to get things started for you. Focus on YOUR specific issues. Who are you trying to keep happy? Why? When did this pattern start? Is it a healthy pattern? Or do you suffer because of it? Do you have trouble saying “no”? Why? What would happen if you said “no”? When did this pattern start?

    These are all questions to get you thinking…answer them with a pen and paper, focus on the specifics, and then tap through the emotions, events and limiting beliefs.

    So… needless to say, I did a lot of tapping and felt a tremendous amount of relief. I was able to enjoy these amazing things happening in my life right now. The reality is that I’m doing the best I can, and while I certainly have the intention to make the people around me happy, I’m not willing to sacrifice my personal happiness to do so and I understand that at the end of the day, their happiness is their responsibility.

    Ahhhh…..much better. :)

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    Share your comments below: Who are you trying to make happy? What are your patterns around not being able to say “no”? Did you feel a shift with the tapping? What have you identified that you want to continue to work on?

    Please take the time to comment, not only because it means the world to me (makes me know you’re happy and I need that!!! Just kidding!), but more importantly, your comments, stories and ideas might really help someone else get more clear on their issues.


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  3. Published Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

    by Nick Ortner
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    So you feel like nothing is working, huh? Or you’re frustrated that everyone else is getting great results with life  or whatever you’re trying at the moment (like EFT) and you’re not? Welcome to the club you didn’t even know you belonged to.  The club that nobody knows they’re a member of because each individual person thinks their problem is unique and they’re alone!

    The club of one that is actually the club of many…(but it’s still exclusive, don’t worry)

    Let me tell you a little bit about the members of this club, to see if you fit the description.

    Do you fit these descriptions?
    Members in this club are loving, caring people who truly want to make a difference in the world.  They’re looking to improve themselves, to support and help those around them, and they’re super dedicated to getting healthy, experiencing joy in their life and living a life of abundance.

    Members in this club are also often frustrated, can get angry, sad or sometimes lonely (and then they get frustrated at themselves for feeling those feelings), experience frequent or infrequent cases of pain, jealousy, grief, fear, and a myriad of other ‘negative” emotions.

    Members in this club look around at everyone else and say, “Why does it work for her?”  “Why is she skinny and I’m not?” “Why is he rich and I’m not?” “Why are they happy and I’m not?”
    And then, of course, members in this club feel bad for having these thoughts and feelings! Because they truly are caring…loving…people…

    Do you fit the description? Thought so! It’s my pleasure and honor to welcome you to the club…now, I also wanted to let you know about an exclusive opportunity to join a new club (this club is invite-only, no fees and you can’t buy, talk or sneak your way in…)

    The New (even more exclusive) Club
    The way you join this new club is really quite simple.  Just take a few minutes to read its principles below and, voila! You’re in!

    In this new club, everything in your life works perfectly.   There’s no such thing as things going “wrong” because the concept doesn’t even exist in this club.  The members in this club are huge on forgiveness, accepting themselves as they are, changing from a place of self-love, not self-loathing.  The members of this club are huge on cutting themselves, and others, some slack.

    Here are two of the founding principles this club works on (more to come in the future)

    1.  You’re amazing and doing just as well as everyone around you.  You’re not losing. You’re not falling behind.  You’re perfect. One of the challenges that some of our modern technology brings, particularly Facebook, is that people look around at others people’s lives, see them smiling, happy in pictures, read about their accomplishments, read about the amazing things they’re doing and then say…”I’m not doing enough” or, even worse, “I’m not enough”.  Fifty years ago, we just tried to keep up with the Joneses, our neighbors, the people around us and while that was bad enough, now most of us are trying to keep up with the hundreds or thousands of people we see on Facebook, twitter, or other places online.

    It’s not a healthy habit.  :)    Someone out there is always going to be doing something cool, amazing, ground-breaking, or just seem like they’re having more fun than we are and we need to cheer them on without casting judgment on ourselves.   I know it’s easier said than done, it’s almost human nature (I say “almost” because I think you can move beyond it), to compare ourselves to others.

    The same goes when you compare yourself to the “gurus” out there who are teaching you new concepts, ideas, and ways of being.  Trust me, I’ve met the gurus, and they’re just as human as you are.  Are they amazing people doing great work in the world?  Yes, they are.  Do they have challenges just like you do? Absolutely.  It’s ok to get excited about someone, to follow their message, even to put them up on a pedestal a little bit as someone to admire and strive to be like.  That’s ok, AS LONG AS….when you put them up on a pedestal, you’re not putting YOURSELF down.   Does that make sense? It’s a subtle distinction but an important one.

    2.  Some New, Very Advanced, Setup Phrases.  :) For me personally, one of the most powerful elements of EFT is the setup phrase, “Even though I ______ (fill in the blank with the problem, emotion, belief, etc.), I deeply and completely accept myself”   Just doing that tapping by itself can have profound results, as we acknowledge that we’re ok, as we are.  We bring forth and speak how we feel, what we believe, and then let ourselves know, “hey bud, that’s OK.”  In a society where we are keeping up with the Joneses on Facebook, where we are told by the media that we’re not skinny enough, rich enough, smart enough or happy enough, this acknowledgment, along with the physical tapping, can be extremely powerful.

    I’ve formulated some new setup phrases for you to experiment with.  Be careful, they’re powerful, members-only phrases and they might result in extreme joy, peace and self-loving.

    Pick an issue that has been bothering you, or a general feeling you’ve been having recently, or a belief that keeps coming up.  The more specific you are, the better results you’ll get on that issue, but general is ok here too.

    I’m going to use the general feeling of “stress” for our examples.

    (If you need help with the tapping points or a general description of the process, click here)

    Start tapping on the karate chop point.  (Usually we do three setup statement on the karate chop points, we’re going to do several more this time)

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’ve been stressing for so long, I don’t know how to stop, I’m finding new, easy ways to change this pattern now…

    Karate Chop:  Even though stress is what I do, I find myself doing something else now!

    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m so used to stressing, beating myself up, finding what’s wrong with me, I’m taking a time out from that self-abusive behavior, and choosing to love myself right now…

    Normally, we’d go on to tapping a shorter reminder phrase for every point, i.e. eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, under the mouth, collarbone, under the arm, and top of the head…

    But I’d like for you to try tapping through each point, saying all the phrases above, again and again.

    So tap the eyebrow point and say: Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…

    And then side of the eye: Even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…

    And keep going…again and again until you take such a deep breath and feel soooooooo good that you think it’s a good time to stop.

    (make sure you do this tapping NOW, there’s no better time!  Just take 10 minutes!)

    This Just In…Breaking News…
    Wow, just got word…this is exciting indeed…. you, yes, YOU, have been formally accepted into this new club.  You’ve done it! Congratulations! Well done! I really felt like you’ve deserved this spot for years.   I guess it just took a little while for you to figure out you deserved it too…

    I’m sure you’re experiencing some of the club privileges already…you know, all that self-love, self-acceptance, joy, peace and other fun stuff…

    It’s an honor and a deep privilege for me to be in this club with you.  I hereby place you on a pedestal.  What’s that you say? Oh, you’d like to put me on a pedestal as well? Why, that’s very kind of you…oh, I see, we’re now BOTH up on a pedestal AND eye to eye.

    Very smart of you…

    I look forward to seeing you at our next club meeting…until then….

    Keep tapping!

    Nick Ortner


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    Attention New Club Members: Share your experience, comments and thoughts below! (Note: Exclusive club members are so full of joy, self-love and positive emotions that they’re just bursting to share it on the blog with others – just FYI :)   )
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  4. Jan 19

    The ONE most important thing I’ve learned…

    This post was published by Nick Ortner

    Published Thursday, January 19th, 2012

    by Nick Ortner.
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    There’s one thing I’ve learned to have for myself and for others in the past ten years of studying, using and teaching EFT.  This ONE thing could make all the difference in how you approach the world  and your experience in it.  In a lot of ways, this thing is the one of the foundational elements of tapping, as we see in the setup statement, “Even though I (fill in the blank with your problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.

    What’s implied in this statement?  What one thing must you have for yourself and others?

    Think about the setup statement.   Within it, you’re acknowledging what your issue is, speaking the truth about it, how you feel, what you believe, and so forth, while at the same time, you’re accepting yourself, loving yourself, forgiving yourself “even though” you have that issue.  I’ve seen people have incredible breakthroughs just from the setup statement, just from that acknowledgment of where they are and that self-compassion.

    Beyond the setup statement bringing forth compassion for yourself, you can also do specific tapping to further that compassion.  I’ll share some ideas on what you can do below.

    But first, let’s take a look at having compassion for others.

    Compassion for Others

    Working one-on-one with clients and hearing their stories has opened my eyes tremendously to the reality of what people around me face on a daily basis, and what they’ve experienced in their lives.  You can imagine that when I work with people, and they feel safe, they tend to share with me their most painful experiences and emotions.

    The stories I’ve heard, the pain people have experienced, have opened my heart in amazing ways.   Now, when someone is rude, or short, or angry, or acts in a way that isn’t positive, my response (as often as I remember!)  is not to judge them but rather wonder, “What might have happened to this person that they’re acting out in this way?” “What pain might they have experienced?”  and, “How can I show them love and compassion?”

    Trust me when I tell you that when someone acts in a way that disappoints you or upsets you, it’s rarely about you.  There’s just acting the way they know to act. They’re copying their parents’ actions, society’s dictates and responding emotionally based on their formative childhood experiences.  If you react, if you judge, if you get angry, all you’re doing is perpetuating the patterns, and continuing the problem.  If instead, you show love, compassion, and an open-hearted response, you have the opportunity and the ability to heal the situation.

    Let’s do some tapping for both!

    Compassion for Self:

    This is a very GLOBAL issue, and we always want to try to get to the SPECIFIC.  So start with this global tapping, and then as specific issues come up, focus on those.  So for example, if you do this tapping, and then a specific event comes to mind that you’re judging yourself about, tap on that event specifically.

    (And remember…if you don’t know how to tap yet, just watch the short “how to tap” video with my sister Jessica by clicking here).

    Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to judge myself, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop: Even though I’m sometimes hard on myself, I choose to love myself now…
    Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to find compassion for myself, I choose to find compassion now…

    Eyebrow:  All this judgment…
    Side of the Eye:  I’m always judging myself…
    Under the Eye:  Why am I so hard on myself…?
    Under the Nose:  Where did I learn to have so much judgment…?
    Under the Mouth:  Why am I always judging myself…?
    Collarbone: All this judgment…
    Under the Arm: I’m so hard on myself…
    Top of the Head: Always beating myself up…

    Keep tapping through the points, again and again, until you find relief and you feel like you can say the positive statement.

    Eyebrow: I choose to forgive myself now…
    Side of the Eye: I choose to have compassion for myself…
    Under the Eye:  I forgive myself…
    Under the Nose: I’m doing the best I can…
    Under the Mouth:  With the resources I have…
    Collarbone:  Forgiving myself…
    Under the Arm: Letting it go…
    Top of the Head:  Letting all this judgment go…

    Keep tapping on the positive rounds, again and again, until you feel that it’s really sunk in.  (and you can obviously do this at any time!)

    Compassion for Others

    As with the previous tapping, this is also very GLOBAL tapping, so start with this and then if SPECIFIC events come up, tap on those.  So for example, you might start with this general tapping and then think of someone that you are specifically judging for something they did or are doing.  Tap on that specifically!

    Karate Chop:  Even though I have a tendency to judge others, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop:  Even though I keep judging what others do, I deeply and completely accept myself…
    Karate Chop:  Even though I’m used to judging others, I  choose to change this pattern now…

    Eyebrow:  All this judgment…
    Side of the Eye: I keep judging others…
    Under the Eye:  I’m always judging the people around me…
    Under the Nose: I can’t stop judging them…
    Under the Mouth: I’ve always judged them…
    Collarbone: All this judgment for others…
    Under the Arm:  This judgment…
    Top of the Head: This pattern of judging others…

    Keep tapping on the above rounds until you’re ready to move on to the positive rounds.

    Eyebrow:  I choose to forgive…
    Side of the Eye: I choose to let go…
    Under the Eye: I choose to release this judgment…
    Under the Nose: Releasing this pattern of judgment…
    Under the Mouth: Letting it all go…
    Collarbone:  It’s time to stop judging…
    Under the Arm:  It’s time to forgive…
    Top of the Head:  It’s time to forgive myself and others…

    What was your experience with this tapping? Do you have compassion for yourself? Do you have compassion for others? :) Comment below!

    Nick Ortner

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