Surrogate Tapping with Jessica Ortner

Published on:
Tuesday October 13, 2009
by Nick Ortner

Oh… the many times, in my personal journey of growth and development that I thought,

“If (fill in name of your friend/family member/colleague) would just do (fill in name of the modality/supplement/seminar/book), then their life would be so much better!”

Have you had similar thoughts? Of course you have, because you care about those you love, because you are on the cutting edge of exploring information that changes lives, and you just want more people to know this life-changing information, to make better choices, to find more happiness, joy, health and abundance.

But I learned a lesson many years back that’s encapsulated in an old saying…

“You can lead a horse to water…but you can’t make it drink”

It’s been my personal experience that the best way I can help others is to:

A. Do my own work first: BE the change…

B. Share with passion and enthusiasm but WITHOUT attachment to the outcome, i.e. whether the horse drinks or not!

And there’s actually a tapping process that I’ve used to support that path, called “surrogate tapping”.

Now, I often think surrogate tapping is slightly misunderstood, in that people think, “Oh, I can just tap for someone else and FIX them,” – i.e., “I can make that horse drink!” – whereas I believe the real power in surrogate tapping is to first help us clear our own emotional attachments, stress, anxiety and overwhelm about the situation/person/challenge. What I’ve found to be really exciting about doing this is that when we do our own work first, THEN THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

I can’t fully explain it, but I’ve seen it again and again in my own life and in those who have done this process.

So if there’s a situation you’re struggling with, if there’s a person who you love that you are stressed out and anxious about, if there’s someone you want to help, then take a few minutes to try this free tapping meditation.

Watch the short video by Jessica explaining the process and then use the 16 minute meditation below:

Introduction to Surrogate Tapping Video

Press Play Below to Listen to the Surrogate Tapping Audio

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download the “How to Tap” PDF

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download Audio

Right Click and “Save” Here to Download the Surrogate Tapping Transcript PDF

How did this process affect you?

What insights or breakthroughs did you have?

Let us know! Post your comments below.



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622 Comments on this post

  1. Lalitha says:

    my neice is really hurting the rest of the family with her behaviour and talk. she just do not see reason. I had felt that i need to get over my negativity towars her. So listening to this really calmed me and i feel will help me get over my reactions to her. Thank you.


  2. JoAna Dwyer says:

    I have participated in your Tapping World Summit and done many tappings on physical and emotional issues. This surrogate tapping is the most profound for me and resonated more than any of them. My adult daughter (age 46) is deeply depressed and suicidal. I have felt totally helpless.
    Thank you, Jessica for this beautiful, healing tapping. I shall continue to do it daily. Many blessings your way.

  3. Li-Aura says:

    This is for Jessica’s surrogate tapping.
    I enjoyed it immensely . I tapped with you, Jessica, because I was in the situation which you described before the tapping about loving someone and wanting to help him while at the same
    time the person himself was not showing the same interest as I was.
    I tapped with you to let the control slide off of me and tapped on the rest as well. It did change
    the way I feel about him now. If my anger towards him was at 7 (suds) it’s now O !!! I tapped today (Dec/9/14) and all this experience with your tapping change completely the way I look at this issue
    of wanting this person to tap away his problems while he is not ready or doesn’t want to.

    Thank you so much for the light you sent my way.

    With love and Gratitude


  4. Kirk says:

    Amazing meditation, Jessica! It calmed me about losing someone in a relationship who I loved very much and I felt I could spend the rest of my life with them. I will use this a lot! :)

  5. Ibolya Molnar says:

    I found the experience very peaceful and touching. I am planning to use surrogate tapping on different people and also on the same person more times. Let’s see how it will effect me, the other person and our relationship.

  6. Twila says:

    Your surrogate tapping video is beautiful, Jessica. Thank you for it. I choose to use it daily and to share it with friends who are challenged by loved ones’ situations. You are a blessing! The world is more Peaceful and Loving because of your meaningful work.

  7. WENDY says:


  8. Stephanie Hammond says:

    How beautiful! I started with the thought of one special friend in mind and soon was embracing others whose situations have given me some concern, right to the political situations around the globe. Then when the script included the Ho’oponopono blessing, my eyes filled with tears. Isn’t it wonderful how all good things are interconnected. EFT and Ho’oponopono combined feel like a very powerful gift for healing. I know my friend is in the very best place for her right now. I know I can love her and laugh with her and be kind to her, regardless of where her journey leads her. Thank you Jessica for your love and sharing.

  9. Joyce says:

    Wow that was so powerful. My body had so many reactions from releasing air from my digestive tract to waves of heat coming off my chest and sweating and tears flowing from my eyes. I loved this surrogate tapping because I felt not only so connected to the person I was tapping for but to myself and the whole universe. I’ve been tapping with Nick Ortner on Healing with the Masters and also with Jessica Ortner in her Tapping for Weight Loss and it has been very good but this so far has been most awesome and powerful. I took a course in EFT way back around 1995 and I know how to use it but I haven’t had the results like I have been having now because I realize it isn’t just the words you say but the feelings that come up and you release that matter so you can heal. Thank you Jessica and Nick. You are both a blessing.

  10. Lynette says:

    Thank-you Jessica
    that is just what I needed today! I cried, I smiled and I marveled at some of the words that made things seem easier :)
    I am so grateful I found you and Nick. This tapping was so lovely I am going to use it regularly.
    love and blessings to you

  11. Bella says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this audio with anybody and everybody who willing to help themselves and or others. I truly loved it. It was so beautiful and relaxing and feel it’s lifted this heaviness from me. Thank you Jess Xx

  12. Karín Torrellas says:

    Escuchar el audio y además permanecer haciendo tapping según sus instrucciones.
    Lisen to this audio and and also keep tapping according to instructions. <3

  13. Karín Torrellas says:

    Muchas gracias. Maravilloso. Es realmente muy util para todas las situaciones en general. Cuando nos sentimos tan afectados que parece que no podemos ni pensar , poner este audio y relajarse siguiendo estas instrucciones te devuelve la paz y la alegria.

    Thank you very much. Wonderful. It’s really very useful for all situations in general. When we feel so badly affected that it seems we can not even think, put this audio and relax following these instructions you back peace and joy.

  14. Mary says:

    I had just finished sending links to blog posts to two friends undergoing very challenging life situations. Knowing that I cannot make anyone choose to follow your method, I decided to explore surrogate tapping and was blown away by the powerful process which has let me Let Go of any expectation that I can fix their problems and just connect with them and send them love, and peace and light and confidence that they will be guided to the answers that they need. I can be a supportive friend and be willing to listen when they need to talk and trust that if I allow myself to be guided from that place of love, peace and light I may say something helpful. Thank you for such an inspiring meditation.

  15. Queenie says:

    You Sir/Madam are the enemy of confusion eveeywhrre!

  16. Patricia says:

    Jessixa, I cannot begin to thank you enough for the gift of this tapping meditation.
    I have some things that I need to work through at this time and I have been using
    this audio for some weeks now at least once a day.
    I am grateful to you at the end of each session.
    Blessings on you and your ministry.

  17. leann says:

    Ive been tapping for about 3 mo now on issues its wonderful.

  18. Linda says:

    Thank you, Jessica. As often, when I really need something it usually shows up. I have a grandson who appears to be making some less than healthy choices right now. I know he is hurting and is self-medicating much the same way his recently deceased father did. I tend to try and be a fixer so it is really hard for me to let go of the judgment and need to control. This script brings lots of tears so I will probably go through it several more times. I especially like the ocean background. Again, Thank you.

  19. Gaone says:

    You are God sent Jessica, thank you very much. I can’t get enough of tapping because it bring miracles to my body.

  20. Sandi says:

    I loved this and will use it. Thank you.

  21. Kim says:

    Dear Jessica,

    I appreciate the giving of your time and energy that you spent in preparing the morning & evening audio tapping meditations. I enjoy them and use both daily, they set me up for the day and put to me to bed feeling empowered and self accepted!

    To Fellow Bloggers,

    There may be some of you out there that are interested in the EFT process, yet somewhat apprehensive as to its validity. To those I offer my humble thoughts and experiences. As you know may or may not be aware, this process is based on ancient Chinese medicine. The tapping points are energy/chi meridians which are also used by acupuncturist.

    I once had a nagging bronchial type cough that was a residual condition from a terrible bout of the flu bug. A well meaning western physician prescribed me an inhaler for this condition, however, I sought acupuncture as an alternative to rid myself of the dependency I developed from the inhaler. I was way apprehensive and very curious and excited all at the same time.

    I treated for several months, with a wise old Chinese doctor, who spoke with broken English completely blew my mind. His name was Dr. Lee. During some sessions I would simply fall asleep, odd for me. I’m sound asleep in a strange place completely vulnerable to an individual I barley knew. At other sessions I would find myself crying, tears streaming down my face, for no reason. Dr. Lee would sometimes walk in and say to me so gently “I know” “I know”.

    I surmise I must have released a lot of negative energy, stress, etc. during those sleeping and/or crying episodes. Long story short, no more wheezing, no more inhalers. I was completely healed. My healing happened approximately 6 years ago.

    All of this say, give tapping a chance. Take a leap of faith and check it out. You may very well be incredibly surprised at your results! – Namaste

  22. Anita Aeschbacher says:

    Hi Jessica, this meditation was beautiful, thank’s a million!
    Even though, I still am a beginner only, I do love EFT and the work of you and Nick and your team! – Congratulations!
    I also want to start tapping with people around me, although, I first want to become a bit more secure myself, with EFT.

    Love and best wishes; Anita Aeschbacher – Switzerland (CH)