Complain Your Way to a Breakthrough

Margaret Lynch - EFT Tapping Articles Written by Margaret Lynch

Complaining is both universally used and detested by pretty much everyone. Nobody likes to hear it, but we all do it in our own special way and there is one universal truth about complaining: While you are doing it, you feel really, REALLY justified! I know I do!

Yes, complaining does have a dark and pretty nasty downside and that is why everyone (and every guru) will tell you to zip it and stop complaining! I totally understand why.

But tapping using EFT has the strange ability to let us go into and examine even really negative emotions and behaviors in a way that creates great transformation and higher levels of consciousness. Yes, it is that powerful!

So I am going to shine a new little light on complaining, even at the risk of being misunderstood. I’m also going to give you a complaining exercise to try.

Understanding Why We Complain

First you have to understand why we complain. Complaining is always tied to something that felt or still feels unfair, like a “slight” that triggered some anger or resentment. But that unfairness and accompanying annoyance gets stuck because there is often no one to really direct it at. It often never gets validated and there seems to be no way to set things right. These things are often subtle to start and can feel like an imbalance in work or relationship or luck that snowballs into real unfairness.

So the things we complain about often feel like an overwhelming pattern…the same dang thing! When we can’t get empowered, energy gets stuck and sometimes leaks out as complaining.

This gets worse when we have unconscious vows to be perfectly giving or perfect in any way because it means we can’t speak up when the little imbalances that turn into unfair situations start happening.

Knowing this, we can try a radical approach and use tapping to voice complaining as a pathway to being heard and validated (by ourselves first) , clear out the anger and resentment, and move to the energy of empowerment.

What to Do About it

I highly recommend that when you feel complaining happening, you just be present and start tapping with it. Pretend you are your own most sympathetic friend nodding and agreeing, and really let the complaining fly. WOW, will that feel fabulous and you will notice how right and justified you feel!

Just like anger, you can add in the words “this feels so unfair,” and “I was wronged!” Let that energy rise and move up and out of your system and your mouth! When it does, there is something, some gift, some inspiration, some action (and a lot of relief) on the other side of it! Say it, once and for all and let it be heard and validated; and then you can watch for the gift.

I have had my biggest breakthroughs when I started doing this!

Before, when I felt complaining rising up, it felt so negative and bad for the law of attraction, that I smartly pushed it aside and renewed my efforts to keep going and stay positive. Yes, I felt very smart and self-disciplined about it! But one time, I was home alone and decided to just complain and complain loudly, while tapping about everything.

I complained, seriously about e-v-e-r-y-thing, to God, the universe, the law of Attraction, fate and any passing by spirits, angels and guides. I yelled at them all and said a lot of “…and another thing…!” I am sure I sounded like a crazy person…I wonder if the angels, spirits and guides got a chuckle.

This let loose what felt like years of stuck complaining annoyance, frustration and stuck-ness! And when I was done, I had changed. Everything changed. I had a new sense of resolve of what I really wanted and I was very, very clear about my stuck-ness and how frustrated it made me. I could clearly see that there were areas in my mission and money where I felt stuck because I was afraid and was needing to change and grow. I could feel very clearly that I had to let go of something — the old way of playing small.

My loud complaining brought me to an incredibly important turning point and decision. I was still afraid and found a lump of sadness about letting go of the old ways, but I could not go back. I had to move forward as moments of consciousness are like a genie that can’t be put “back in the bottle.” They are just too powerful.

And I got there by complaining with tapping. Maybe I should call it “tap-plaining.”

So, are you ready for a moment of consciousness? Try it! I promise tapping makes it productive instead of destructive and see where it brings you…

Some Safe Complaining Tapping

How about some tapping while complaining with the beautiful intention of moving that energy, feeling validated, release and finding a powerful “aha moment”?

Just imagine that you suddenly have free license to complain about everyone and everything in your life that is annoying you, frustrating you, undermining you and keeping you stuck. This can be a bit scary as some of us have become so self-disciplined about never complaining, but try anyway!

If you are new to tapping, please see How To Tap.

Start by tapping the karate-chop point:

  • Even though I try to be positive and I can’t stand complainers, there are so many little things that I really do find annoying
  • Even though I pride myself on never complaining, there are some things that I am really right about and they just suck!!
  • Even though I am a very positive person and I am afraid the universe won’t like my complaining, the truth is, I am human and I have some crap that I deserve to complain about dang it!

Continue tapping through any of the tapping points:

  • It feels kind of good to say it!
  • I can’t stand this ______(fill in the blank here!)
  • And I can’t stand that _______
  • It is soooo stupid
  • And really unfair
  • It really does suck!
  • And that idiot, always getting their way
  • But not me! Seriously, I can’t get a break?
  • I see dumb-dumbs getting breaks all the time
  • Seriously…where is my support from the Universe?
  • Hello! Man, this is infuriating!
  • And I am working so hard! What is the deal with that?!
  • I am giving it my all and never get the reward!
  • Sometimes everything is so hard
  • And no one is really helping me
  • And no one really understands
  • YES, Poor ME dangit!
  • This really is so unfair and so wrong
  • And I really do deserve better
  • Complaining is not pretty or perfect
  • But I am just going to honor it
  • I honor this moving, releasing energy
  • I honor this big stuck annoyed energy
  • It’s been bottled up but I am letting it fly
  • And most of all, I honor me!
  • YES, poor me, for once I would like to complain and be really validated without judgment (even my own judgment)
  • I deserve to be validated and my dissatisfaction heard!

Wow, that was even kind of fun to type! As your energy winds down a bit, notice that the issues seem to feel less charged and important. See what the real issue is in there…this is important. What does it boil down to? What do you want that you are being stuck around? What behavior or habit or fear do you have to let go of to get out of this pattern?

Let’s do a positive round now….

Start by tapping the Karate-chop point:

  • Even though I probably enjoyed that complaining too much, hey I am human and I honor me!
  • Even though I feel annoyed at the whole universe, I feel a new honesty in asking for support, Yes, universe I really REALLY want to be supported!
  • Even though I value my positive, can-do attitude, I can also honor my poor-me!

Continue tapping through any of the tapping points:

  • I have felt so dis-empowered by all these things and really not heard
  • That makes it louder in my head and in my voice
  • It feels good to release that
  • And I do feel much more validated
  • Dissatisfaction shines a light on what I really do want
  • I see it now, there is something I really do want
  • I would like more support please
  • I would like to have a breakthrough please
  • I am a bit scared and used to the old ways
  • But I want to step up now
  • And I see something has to change here
  • And I commit to doing my part
  • My complaining will now remind me to take stock
  • That is a pretty good gift!


Margaret Lynch Bio

Margaret Lynch

After 18 years of engineering management and winning top sales awards at Fortune 500 companies, she left corporate America and to live her passion: helping others transform into their most powerful selves.  Within a few years, Margaret created a million-dollar business bringing her unique transformational work to thousands of people from all over the globe […]




Blog Comments:

2 Responses to “Complain Your Way to a Breakthrough”

  1. Baji says:

    Thank you Margaret for that great tapping session with statements. I did it, and I feel more validated.

    I love tapping!

  2. anne says:

    THANK YOU – What a RELIEF to be able to complain – after years self improvement and following the laws of attractions of training myself to think positive – I had some improvements – but not enought – I was stuck – but I darent let go of what I’d learnt for fear of going backwards! Now you have given me PERMISSION to rant my complaints – and I TRUELY think that this is a BIG step forward – as SO many people are stuck in “how unfair it all is” and they are right – life is unfair – but now with tapping and you giving permission to complain – WOW – this REALLY IS a BREAK THOUGH. Thank you very very much. Anne

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