What to do when things aren’t going your way

Written by: Nick Ortner

So you feel like nothing is working, huh? Or you’re frustrated that everyone else is getting great results with life —or whatever you’re trying at the moment (like EFT) and you’re not?

Welcome to the club you didn’t even know you belonged to. The club that nobody knows they’re a member of because every individual thinks their problem is unique and they’re alone!

The club of one that is actually the club of many… (But it’s still exclusive, don’t worry.)

Let me tell you a little bit about the members of this club, to see if you fit the description.

Do You Fit These Descriptions?

Members of this club are loving, caring people who truly want to make a difference in the world. They’re looking to improve themselves, to support and help those around them, and they’re super dedicated to getting healthy, experiencing joy in their life, and living a life of abundance.

Members in this club are also often frustrated, can get angry, sad, or sometimes lonely (and then they get frustrated at themselves for feeling those feelings), experience frequent or infrequent cases of pain, jealousy, grief, fear, and a myriad of other “negative” emotions.

Members in this club look around at everyone else and wonder, “Why does it work for them?” “She’s skinny and I’m not.” “He’s rich and I’m not.” “Why are they happy and I’m not?”

And then, of course, members in this club feel bad for having these thoughts and feelings! Because they truly are caring, loving people.

Do you fit this description?

I thought so! It’s my pleasure and honor to welcome you to the club!

Now, I also wanted to let you know about an exclusive opportunity to join a NEW club (this club is invite-only, no fees and you can’t buy, talk or sneak your way in…)

The New (even more exclusive) Club

The way you join this new club is really quite simple. Just take a few minutes to read its principles below and, voila! You’re in!

In this new club, everything in your life works perfectly. There’s no such thing as things going “wrong” because the concept doesn’t even exist in this club.

The members in this club are huge on forgiveness, accepting themselves as they are, changing from a place of self-love, not self-loathing.

The members of this club are huge on cutting themselves some slack, as well as others.

Here are two of the founding principles this club works on (more to come in the future):

1. You’re amazing and doing just as well as everyone around you. No, you’re not losing or falling behind. You’re perfect the way you are.

One of the challenges that some of our modern technology brings, particularly Facebook, is that people look around at other people’s lives, see them smiling in pictures, read about their accomplishments, read about the amazing things they’re doing and then say, “I’m not doing enough.” or even worse, “I’m not enough.”

Instagram logoFifty years ago, we just tried to keep up with the Joneses, our neighbors, the people around us. And while that was bad enough, now most of us are trying to keep up with the hundreds or thousands of people we see on Facebook, Twitter, or other places online.

It’s not a healthy habit. 🙂

Someone out there is always going to be doing something cool, amazing, ground-breaking, or just seem like they’re having more fun than we are, and we need to cheer them on without casting judgment on ourselves.

I know it’s easier said than done. It’s almost human nature (I say “almost” because I think you can move beyond it) to compare ourselves to others.

The same goes when you compare yourself to the “gurus” out there who are teaching you new concepts, ideas, and ways of being. Trust me, I’ve met the gurus, and they’re just as human as you are.

Are they amazing people doing great work in the world? Yes, they are. Do they have challenges just like you do? Absolutely.

It’s ok to get excited about someone, to follow their message, even to put them up on a pedestal a little bit as someone to admire and strive to be like. That’s ok, AS LONG AS… when you put them up on a pedestal, you’re not putting YOURSELF down. Does that make sense? It’s a subtle distinction but an important one.

2. Some New, Very Advanced, Setup Phrases.

For me personally, one of the most powerful elements of EFT is the setup phrase, “Even though I ___ (fill in the blank with the problem, emotion, belief, etc.), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Just doing that tapping by itself can have profound results, as we acknowledge that we’re ok, as we are. We bring forth and speak how we feel, what we believe, and then let ourselves know, “Hey bud, that’s OK.”

In a society where we are keeping up with the Joneses on Facebook, where we are told by the media that we’re not skinny enough, rich enough, smart enough, or happy enough, this acknowledgment, along with the physical tapping, can be extremely powerful.

I’ve formulated some new setup phrases for you to experiment with. Be careful, they’re powerful, members-only phrases and they might result in extreme joy, peace, and self-loving.

Pick an issue that has been bothering you, or a general feeling you’ve been having recently, or a belief that keeps coming up. The more specific you are, the better results you’ll get on that issue. But being general is ok here too.

I’m going to use the general feeling of “stress” for our examples.

(If you need help with the tapping points or a general description of the process, click here)

Start tapping on the karate chop point. (Usually, we do three setup statement on the karate chop points, we’re going to do several more this time)

Karate Chop:

Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…
And even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…
Even though I’ve been stressing for so long, and I don’t know how to stop, I’m finding new, easy ways to change this pattern now…
And even though stress is what I do, I find myself doing something else now!
Even though I’m so used to stressing, beating myself up, finding what’s wrong with me, I’m taking a time out from that self-abusive behavior, and choosing to love myself right now…

Normally, we’d go on to tapping a shorter reminder phrase for every point, i.e. eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, under the mouth, collarbone, under the arm, and top of the head…

But I’d like for you to try tapping through each point, saying all the phrases above, again and again.

So tap the eyebrow point and say: Even though I’m stressed out about life, I cut myself some slack, right now…

And then the side of the eye: Even though I’m really stressed out, it’s time to give myself a break…

And keep going… again and again, until you take such a deep breath and feel soooooooo good that you think it’s a good time to stop.

(make sure you do this tapping NOW, there’s no better time! Just take 10 minutes!)

Or download our free app and try one of the free tapping meditations to get you started!

Download The Tapping Solution App today!

This Just In… Breaking News!

Wow, just got word… this is exciting indeed… you, yes, YOU, have been formally accepted into this new club.

You’ve done it! Congratulations! Well done! I really felt like you’ve deserved this spot for years. I guess it just took a little while for you to figure out you deserved it too.

I’m sure you’re experiencing some of the club privileges already… you know, all that self-love, self-acceptance, joy, peace, and other fun stuff.

It’s an honor and a deep privilege for me to be in this club with you. I hereby place you on a pedestal.

What’s that you say? Oh, you’d like to put me on a pedestal as well? Why, that’s very kind of you… oh, I see, we’re now BOTH up on a pedestal AND eye to eye.

Very smart of you…

I look forward to seeing you at our next club meeting! Until then…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Attention New Club Members: Share your experience, comments, and thoughts below! Note: Exclusive club members are so full of joy, self-love and positive emotions that they’re just bursting to share it on the blog with others – just FYI 🙂

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93 Comments on this post

  1. aspasia says:

    Estoy en una búsqueda personal muy profunda y gracias a este tipo de ejercicios, puedo sentirme menos estresada y mas confiada. Además, al sentirme que pertenezco a un grupo como este, me doy cuenta de que no estoy sola, hay muchos, que como yo, están en su propia búsqueda y eso me hace sentir abrazada y entendida.
    Aspasia de Mexico

  2. Anna Regina Barcellos says:

    Thank you Nick. I always though that in this Club I was the only member… Oh my God!!!! I have you, too? Thank for sharing this.

  3. Debbie says:

    Thank you so much Nick you hit the spot. Or at least hit the spot that hit the spot isn’t that what tapping is all about. Big huge Hugs and Thanks I sure do appreciate all you do for all of us.

  4. Irne says:

    Really, really, really NICE!!!!

  5. Rachel says:

    Good idea this one, Nick, and funnily I was thinking the other day about facebook being a replacement for the Joneses when a colleague made a comment about it. Excellent. I’ve had a good week but a bit stressful and my good cheer was starting to go last night. I always now use the phrases I honor this or I deeply completely love and accept how I am right now, which can change how I feel from being split between anger and guilt about being angry because of something that’s happened, to feeling centred and not allow outside stuff to spoil my day.Using your tapping phrases today have just reminded my how lucky I am to have all that I have in my life. Thank you. Rachel.

  6. neela says:

    Loved this tapping!But then I always love your work!!!

  7. Lenka says:




  8. Charlotte says:

    I am happy to be a part of your club. It happens today is my birthday and I have grandchildren your age. I enjoyed your thoughts and they are what I have been interested in sharing with others since I have been studying with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and hope to graduate soon. I feel you are never too old to have a positive outlook and wake up each morning with a smile. Keep up your good work! Charlotte Bradshaw

  9. Jenny says:

    Thanks, Nick! Awesome exercise!! By the end of 10 minutes I was laughing out loud!

  10. Bob Nussbaum says:

    Thanks. Reminded me of this tool that has helped so much. This routine is just what I needed now!

  11. Lynn says:

    Hi Nick
    Just wanted to thank for the free links and the ebook by Carol it is awesome. I worked with cutting cords with my present employer and I also used a video from Margaret Lynch I am deserving then I have been using Jessica’s video morning and night for the past two weeks and BELIEVE IT OR NOT I RECEIVED A CALL JANUARY 30 AND WAS GIVEN A NEW JOB. I went from working 2days to full time Mon-Fri 9-5 @ $35,000.00…KEEP TAPPING EVERYONE. Continue the GOOD WORK

  12. Sujata says:

    Thank you Nick for this timely article. i was just stessing on my current situation and new venture. I intend to acknowledge my skills too and share my gift with all. Love and blessings

  13. Lilia says:

    Wow. I did not realize I am such a long time member of this club with so many members.And I always thought that in this club I was the only member. Felt lonely and separate.

  14. Patrick says:

    Cheers Nick, that article really hit the spot…rang my bell…thanks for the invite, glad to accept.

  15. KIRK says:

    Perfect set up statement that can be used for so many things!! Excellent, Nick! Excellent!

  16. Pat says:

    I really enjoy the tapping, it does make me feel better. It also opens most of my sinuses and I can actually breathe better. I really hope that you and Jessica keep on presenting these programs be cause they make self-help easier and no one is judging you .

  17. Melanie says:

    Unique & unusual & beautiful take, Nick. I love it. And we’re in synchrony. I wrote a blog post this morning that’s similar but the idea of joining this exclusive club – dynamite! Thanks so much and once I publish my post, can I link to this post of yours? Hope so. Many blessings and much Aloha.

  18. Lory says:

    Thanks again Nick! I nice afternoon treat in a busy day!

  19. Billy says:

    Nick! wow1 You do realise how deeply this touched me? Actually this truth hit me like a brick, even though I’ve heard the concept many times over the years You’ve reminded me of it when I’m at a point, ready to let it in.
    Thank You

  20. Sharon says:

    Hi Nick,
    This message is so timely for me, it is exactly how I have been feeling lately. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone. I have been fortunate enough to have made huge changes due to EFT and really look forward to your e-mails.
    Thanks to all at the Tapping Solution and to my fellow club members for being there!

  21. lilli says:

    Hello Nick!
    that was great, you could feel the gratitude i experienced and you put yrself on the pedestal, too. The breeze is great there 🙂

  22. Anne says:

    I joined the club immediately, because I totally belong in it, and did the tapping exercise right away, exactly as Nick suggested. Only I substituted fears for stress. What happened next completely astounded me. Just as I did the very last tap, in that very second, the chairman of the board walked into my office. (I work for a small non-profit.) He took me totally by surprise by telling me that my job might go away, or that my work hours might be cut. I experienced ZERO anxiety or fear. I couldn’t believe my reaction! Here I am in huge financial fear and distress already, and the news about my job did not blow me out of the water. Instead, we had a warm and engaging conversation about the situation. Something like that has never happened to me in my almost 60 years on this Earth. Nick is right – it is a POWERFUL exercise!!!!! I still can’t quite believe what happened. Thank you Nick, with all my heart.

  23. Snezhana says:

    Dear Nick, THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!

  24. charlie butts says:

    Thank you!

  25. Jalila says:

    Thanks, Nick. That was really sweet. It was timely, too, just because I had just kissed my husband who was telling me how hurt he was when I denied him a hug last night. I had been sitting at this computer trying to find answers to getting out of a hole and had frustrated myself into a bad mood. But I decided to take today to enjoy a couple of long walks alone and to play with my baby daughter… Then the answers to close up that hole came to me! No. Literally, they came via mailman, visitor dropping by, my unsuspecting husband.

    Its nice to have taken the quiet time, to remember to be easy with me and to allow myself to love and let go of the worry. Glad to be part of the club.

  26. Bonnie says:

    Really needed that today, Thank you! Keep up the great work, looking forward to your next e-mail!

  27. Lucila says:

    Hi Nick, you are such a nice person that I only have words to thank you for all your help with tapping alternatives. God bless you and your team.

  28. Debra Jason says:

    Thanks Nick. I friend sent me a link to this post and boy, you surely said it all.
    Thanks for the reminder that “Someone out there is always going to be doing something cool, amazing, ground-breaking, or just seem like they’re having more fun than we are and we need to cheer them on without casting judgment on ourselves. I know it’s easier said than done, it’s almost human nature (I say “almost” because I think you can move beyond it), to compare ourselves to others.”
    I’m tapping on the stress phrases your provided right now. Here’s to all the club members tapping their way to a stress-free life.

  29. Itzel says:

    Hey Nick, thanks a lot! I feel happier!

  30. Marisol Guerra says:

    Dear Nick, you’re really awsome! Loved your mail, your words, you enthusiasm and your kindness! Thank you always and may the universe keep giving you back all the love and insights you share :-*

  31. Stella says:

    Nick I started tapping immediately and then the most wonderful thing happened. As I spoke these words I started to laugh!!! By the time I got to the side of the eye tapping point I felt some release of negative emotions because I was realizing just how much I do “beat” myself up and stress out over not being “good enough”. Thanks for bringing this important lesson to my attention and know that it absolutely works today, tomorrow and for as long as it needs to be done I will tap away and share this with my friends, family, strangers and anyone who seems like they want to have more positivity and joy in their life. The realm of consciousness is certainly increasing on a global level so great job pointing that out and thanks again for “being the change you want to see in the world”!!!! (not afraid of heights) Love, Stella

  32. Laurel says:

    Thanks so much Nick, I have forgotten to Tap and today was a lovely experience. I have been stressed and searching for a way to shake it off so to speak. Much appreciated and I happy to be in the club, great to see you eye to eye again balancing happily.

  33. Janet says:

    Nick, thanks for the great blog post! Thanks for inviting me to the exclusive club. Thank you and your family for your support and gentle urgings to be positive.

  34. ana says:

    thank you so much Nick for sharing, gracias!! your new member of the club ana

  35. Debs de Vries says:

    Wonderful, magical, a gift to humanity. Please keep sharing, and thank you for reaching out, for bringing something so incredibly important and useful to me.

  36. Susan says:

    Thank you so very much for everything you do and pass along, especially this Club. Interesting it came this morning. I, along with my family, have been in a very dark place for a long time. Your email reminded me to recommit to my tapping and positive thinking every day no matter what is going on or how I feel. Now I have a Club that I can count on. Thanks again!

  37. Marjorie says:

    Wow! Thanks, Nick and The Tapping Solution! I have made great progress, yet yesterday here I was again over-giving to others and under-giving self-care/basic needs for myself big time. I was hurting.
    Thank you for your timely, caring email, full of love and the Tapping Solution! I tapped, and I feel lighter and happier.!

  38. Natasha Suter says:

    Sweet!! Thanks so much for this timely gift. I’m loving looking over at your smiling face on this pedastal. You’ve made my day/week/year!

  39. Tooie says:

    Nick!! This is soooooo what I needed right now. I am off work on stress leave and been trying to pull myself out of it. Of course forgetting to TAP!! This is a perfectly timed reminder to make the time for myself each day and practice the tools I share with others!! Once again Nick you have outdone yourself. What a blessing to have people like you and your family in this world to clear the way for positive energy and well being!!

  40. Venie says:

    That was really sweet, fellow club member! I enjoyed that very much.

  41. afia says:

    Nick. i loved it! I am as a rule very positive, but there are times when i do feel that life is just not happening. your invite was just what I needed. Thanks. God bless!

  42. Kim says:

    Thank You Nick! How creative and simply wonderful. You brought a smile to my lips and a lightness to my heart.

  43. Shirley Morris says:

    Good one, Nick! Thank you!

  44. Rick Lefever says:

    Thank you Nick for a great article!

  45. Lorelei Robbins says:


    What a brilliantly creative way to say what you said…and honestly, you had me going as I was looking for…’where do I sign up?’…So to remind me that I’m already a member is more powerful than you know. There’s no way I can be my authentic self… which is what we are being called to do now more than ever…if I still believe those old stores. And I love your new setup phrases. Many, many blessings to you. Love, Lorelei

  46. donna says:

    Thank you for the “tap” to remind me that EFT is a great tool. I will need to remember to use it more!! 🙂

  47. Edie Sangiorgio says:

    Nick, Thanks for inviting me into the club! It’s a club I’ve been a member of for many years and just forgot to go to meetings and connect with other members.:) You posted a great tapping script. Thanks for sharing it and reminding me of who I really am.

  48. Dr.Subhassh says:

    Dear Mr.Nick Orther,Thank You very much for your EFT teaching and about being a member of the great club.You are going to help many people who have been bombarded with so many healing techniqes.Your article realy hypnotices(which we all need)a person to take the first step forward to help our selves to become well.You know many of do procrestinate–that is the biggest proplem–ann the stress goes on.You are very motivating.I have been with EFT for a very long time,and even taught my patients.But my procastination took the better of me.
    Thank You again for including me as one of your members.

  49. Bruce Wesley Chenowewth says:

    EXACTLY what I needed this morning! I am facing some heavy, deep and real business challenges. It is definitely time to put things in perspective.
    Thank you

  50. maureen joy says:

    Hi Nick, I just wanted to say thank you for all the wonderful work you do.
    Today I woke up to you….lol…I was drawn to read your email when I opened my eyes.
    This was especially different as I am not consciously struggling w this (thank G-D)..
    I kept reading and decided to incorporate tapping again- we forget along with my daily spiritual practice. I realize that I can use this technique which I’ve successfully used in the past for any subconscious blocks as well.
    Just wanted to touch base and let you know you are making a difference and are appreciated.
    Maureen Joy

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