There’s one thing I’ve learned to have for myself and for others in the past ten years of studying, using, and teaching EFT.
This ONE thing could make all the difference in how you approach the world and your experience in it.
In a lot of ways, this thing is one of the foundational elements of Tapping, as we see in the setup statement, “Even though I (fill in the blank with your problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.
What’s implied in this statement? What one thing must you have for yourself and others? COMPASSION.
Think about the setup statement. Within it, you’re acknowledging what your issue is, speaking the truth about it, how you feel, what you believe, and so forth, while at the same time, you’re accepting yourself, loving yourself, forgiving yourself “even though” you have that issue.
I’ve seen people have incredible breakthroughs just from the setup statement – just from that acknowledgment of where they are and that self-compassion.
Beyond the setup statement bringing forth compassion for yourself, you can also do specific tapping to further that compassion. I’ll share some ideas on what you can do below.
But first, let’s take a look at having compassion for others.
Working one-on-one with clients and hearing their stories has opened my eyes tremendously to the reality of what people around me face on a daily basis and what they’ve experienced in their lives.
You can imagine that when I work with people, and they feel safe, they tend to share with me their most painful experiences and emotions.
The stories I’ve heard, the pain people have experienced, have opened my heart in amazing ways.
Now, when someone is rude, or short, or angry, or acts in a way that isn’t positive, my response (as often as I remember!) is not to judge them but rather wonder, “What might have happened to this person that they’re acting out in this way?” “What pain might they have experienced?” and, “How can I show them love and compassion?”
Trust me when I tell you that when someone acts in a way that disappoints you or upsets you, it’s rarely about you.
They’re just acting the way they know to act. They’re copying their parent’s actions, society’s influence, and responding emotionally based on their formative childhood experiences.
If you react, if you judge, if you get angry, all you’re doing is perpetuating the patterns, and continuing the problem. If instead, you show love, compassion, and an open-hearted response, you have the opportunity and the ability to heal the situation.
Let’s do some tapping for both!
This is a very GLOBAL issue, and we always want to try to get to the SPECIFIC. So start with this global tapping, and then as specific issues come up, focus on those. For example, if you do this tapping, and then a specific event comes to mind that you’re judging yourself about, tap on that event specifically.
(And remember… if you don’t know how to tap yet, just watch the short “how to tap” video with my sister Jessica by clicking here).
Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to judge myself, I deeply and completely accept myself
Karate Chop: Even though I’m sometimes hard on myself, I choose to love myself now
Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to find compassion for myself, I choose to find compassion now
Eyebrow: All this judgment
Side of the Eye: I’m always judging myself
Under the Eye: Why am I so hard on myself?
Under the Nose: Where did I learn to have so much judgment?
Under the Mouth: Why am I always judging myself?
Collarbone: All this judgment
Under the Arm: I’m so hard on myself
Top of the Head: Always beating myself up
Keep tapping through the points, again and again, until you find relief and you feel like you can say these positive statements…
Eyebrow: I choose to forgive myself now
Side of the Eye: I choose to have compassion for myself
Under the Eye: I forgive myself
Under the Nose: I’m doing the best I can
Under the Mouth: With the resources I have
Collarbone: Forgiving myself
Under the Arm: Letting it go
Top of the Head: Letting all this judgment go
Keep tapping on the positive rounds, again and again, until you feel that it’s really sunk in.
As with the previous tapping, this is also very GLOBAL tapping, so start with this and then if SPECIFIC events come up, tap on those. So for example, you might start with this general tapping and then think of someone that you are specifically judging for something they did or are doing. Tap on that specifically!
Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to judge others, I deeply and completely accept myself
Karate Chop: Even though I keep judging what others do, I deeply and completely accept myself
Karate Chop: Even though I’m used to judging others, I choose to change this pattern now
Eyebrow: All this judgment
Side of the Eye: I keep judging others
Under the Eye: I’m always judging the people around me
Under the Nose: I can’t stop judging them
Under the Mouth: I’ve always judged them
Collarbone: All this judgment for others
Under the Arm: This judgment
Top of the Head: This pattern of judging others
Keep tapping on the above rounds until you’re ready to move on to the positive rounds.
Eyebrow: I choose to forgive
Side of the Eye: I choose to let go
Under the Eye: I choose to release this judgment
Under the Nose: Releasing this pattern of judgment
Under the Mouth: Letting it all go
Collarbone: It’s time to stop judging
Under the Arm: It’s time to forgive
Top of the Head: It’s time to forgive myself and others
Now take a gentle breath in… and relax.
If you’d love to try out some more tapping, I encourage you to download our free app, which has free tapping meditations for each category.
Until next time…
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
Copyright © 2024 The Tapping Solution, LLC
Thank you Nick. That was a really good thing to tap on. I feel more at peace now. Thanks Leah
Nick, thank you.
I have never really felt EFT working for ME — I don’t know why. Maybe I should tap on it. But I teach it to my clients and see it working, more and more.
Fortunately, I don’t judge myself and I don’t tend to judge others.
Nick, this was amazingly powerful for me, and I was able to tap into a huge issue I am having right now. Thank you so much. Tapping is one of the most versatile, fast, easy-to-learn healing modalities I’ve ever experienced. I love how we can drain all the bad-feeling emotions out of our bodies and disassociate them with life and every-day events! I want to learn how to do this so I can help myself more and help others help themselves be well!
Hi Nick,
Thank you very much for this tapping session. I certainly needed to learn compassion for myself and others. I was yawning a lot while tapping . I am sure the energy shifted. Something happened just now with my daughter and I did not get upset.
Thanks again
Concetta
Nick you were the conduit for my miracle. I have gone from 4 oxycontin a day, plus many other daily meds, to a coulpe of over the counter pain reducers only when necessary. I have powered thru under heavy medication for years. Now I feel I have awakened from an 8 year medicinally induced coma. I feel alive again and I’m sorry that some people don’t seem to get it, but I and my family cannot thank you enough!
Wonderful! I am at a loss for words other than gratitude for opening my eyes this morning to a newer, softer day.
With all there is to do each day in all our lives I pride myself on thinking, it could always be worse. With compassion and understanding may we all become that much better persons. Thank you Nick!
Nick this came to me at a time I have been working and trying to breakthough blaming
myself, self sabatoge etc. Thanks for the hel[
Dear Nick,
I THANK you for bringing in my house (through your sister Jessica and many other wonderful persons) the EFT! It helps me and helps others to help themselves. GREAT!
Warmest regards,
Ivana
Thank you Nick, this tapping has confirmed that I needed to Tap on Compassion, it was only
2 days before receiving this E.Mail that I intuitively started to Tap on Compassion for self and
Iam overwhelmed with the reult.
Dear Nick,
Thank you for those tapping sequences. I needed it! Didn’t realise how much until I started and, as per usual, it triggered a lot of other related stuff for me to work on too. Quite a few tears! Good to be out and cleared though.
Many thanks,
Charlotte
Nick. Thanks for this latest reminder. I have always considered compassion the fourth “leg” if you will, of the table of Joy . Compassion. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Love.
On another matter. I have been using tapping not so much every time in the acknowledgement portion portion of tapping but more so as part of my daily Mind Movie(s) Would you consider this a plus, or minus for positive reenforcement?
Thank you for continuing to provide free scripts to tap with. There seem to be so many issues I need to deal with that I get overwhelmed and lost in the process of choosing a topic, and shut down. This script is so perfect for me and will help me stay focused on the one issue. Thank you again, Julie
I purchased the tapping solutions and just watched it. Also enjoyed the compassion blog and guidance for tapping on compassion. I have known about tapping for many years now, but only started using it three years ago, with great success for many things. I have shared tapping with people in crisis, one person had anxiety about flying and was about to do a round the world trip. After tapping for this for the week before going then again on way to airport and at the airport, she was able to embark on her first flight and complete the trip without regressing.
What I am interested is, becoming a trainer and was wondering who is the accrediting body for tapping? Also what courses are availble? I live in NSW, Australia.
Nick!! This is your best email yet!!
It is something we all do unconsciously and is a hug barrier
in our path.
I will refer back to this one again and again and have
mailed to all my friends.
Thank you!!
Lavone
Dear Nick,
Thank you for this round of tapping. It’s extremely useful that you paraphrase each round. It makes it so much easier for me to really DO IT and FEEL it. Like many others, I’ve been brought up in a very judgemental & unloving & emotionally abusive environment and didn’t realize for many years that I had fully integrated that pattern, being so harsh on myself, rather willing to forgive others than myself. I’ve tried to forgive my parents for a long time and just FELT that something really shifted. THANK YOU!
Much love & compassion to all of us,
Ann
Nick, its a fine idea and a fine sequence you showed us.
Tapping sometimes works great, sometimes you mill around, because….
and you can’t get the “because”.
Because:
“Be it unto you as your Belief is – as your Faith is – as your Trust in a Higher Power is”.
When tapping in a larger group, potentiality of results grows; the larger the group, the better the results.
My soulmate and I have been tapping for about ten years.
Sometimes we get such stunning results, that all participants are flattened (so are we ).
How come?
If you think you can, and if you think you cannot – you are always right.
You Choose.
Dear Nick,
thank you very much for a very important tapping sequence about judgement. It made me reflect over the my reaction on others and myself.
I also very much enjoy being a member of Tapping Insiders Club.
Thank you to both you and Jessica and the team.
Yours Solveig
Thanks Nick, exactly what I needed today.
Dear Nick,
I read your clarification on tapping and the special statement. It has further clarified and developed on the issue. It is just what the religious leaders and meditation initiators have said to us. Jesus “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us”; Lord Buddha “Let all beings be freed from suffering, be healthy and be healed; Initiators “do not judge others”. I think your explanation does bring tapping to a healing solution for mankind. Thank you. Rom – Sri Lanka.
Hello,
Thanks for the set-up statement (for compassion). I was trying hard in many other ways to put an end to judging others, but I did not have a permanent solution. I am grateful to you for showing me an easy way.
Shankar, India
Thank you for sharing this one on Compassion Nick! I wish everyone could do 3 rounds of tapping on compassion and know the peace within….and find it it their hearts to have compassion for everyone else:~)
I thank you for getting back to me and reminding me to start tapping again. I have enjoyed learning about all the things that you have taught me.
Thank you
Dawn Frantz
And YES I am compassonite to others always
Well Sally, I have been tapping for about a year now. If I tap on something and there is, for example, no emotion, and I find myself wondering about that, then I tap on THAT. So in this case I would tap on “feeling frozen internally”. Also, I always talk out loud when I tap. I have no idea if it would be just as effective to be silent as I’ve never tried it.
I have been on a conscious and intentional Judgment Journey for the past 3 years. It has been and is the biggest journey of my life! I have done EFT tapping (learned from Jessica and Nick) many times over the past year. I just keep doing it, and I did it again today while reading this. I have found that one of the greatest gifts of tapping is being persistent, and doing it over and over again. Why? I suppose because there are layers and layers of judgment. When I take the cover off one layer, it opens the door to the deeper layer, and under that there is yet another. So I just keep tapping!
I tried tapping including verbalising as instructed.
Five times a day each duration 10 to 15 minutes.
No benefit.
Thank you
H
I was not paying attention to your newseletter 🙂 but today I tried the tapping and it really helped me this morning as I started my day at work sitting at my desk.
Thank you!
With love & gratitude
Andrew
I know that this is not so in line with today’s topic blog, but I have a question about the technique. Can I tap and say the sentences SILENTLY or do they always have to be said out loud? Will it still be as effective? Also, I find that when I say these sentences, I find that no matter what I do, I don’t feel their effect, as if I am frozen internally. I know it sounds strange but I just can’t tap into my emotional sphere to make this work. Any suggestions, anyone experiencing the same thing?
This is divine. Let it go and and life is just music. Then I can paint!
Thank so much!
Thank you for everything that you do. Tapping has helped me let go of some things that bothered me emotionally almost all of my life. I am almost 71 and am thinking about using this with family. My background is school counselor and as such think that I could help others. Thank you so much.
Using EFT has helped me to show compassion, acceptance and love to myself and then to clients. I have found it invaluable asset in coaching.
A benefit I had not earlier thought of was as a tool to assist clients before going for interview, before standing for election in a non profit speaking organisation.
And… in being able to show compassion for those who show anger and rudeness to me.
thank you so much for the fabulous information you provide.
Di
It’s so automatic to judge myself and others. I seem to do it without thinking. I love the tapping. It helps release these sub-conscious messages and re-program love, empathy and compassion. Thank you!
This is great! I have been harder on myself than on others. Your tapalongs are always wonderful. I enjoy you and Jessica, and thank you, thank you.
I have not tried tapping yet, however, after reading this article, I think I’d like to learn the techniques. This set of tapping exercises sounds like it is very beneficial. Thank you for the post.
Divine Timing is amazing! You have an incredible gift in knowing what to put out there, and when! I am so glad you trust your intuition and “Just do it!” and it is so true for individuals new to tapping…if they can find the trust in the process, they will find the relief from the emotional block that stagnates them in pain. Thank you once again for a little miracle in my day…
~Marypat
Thank you so much Nick for sharing this important tapping sequence. Blessings and a wonderful New Year to you!
Giselle
Thank you for this post. It is indeed important for us to be compassionate and non-judgemental towards our self as well as our clients.
However, I would like to add that I feel it is valuable for us to also be as neutral as is possible. By which I mean that any entanglement with the client will not serve the client’s best interests. More than empathy, what may be more useful is compassionate understanding with non-attachment. This is better explained in my blog post “Breathe in Pain, Breathe out Joy” at http://serenereflection.wordpress.com/2010/10/08/breathe-in-pain-breathe-out-joy/.
Warm Regards,
Sangeeta
Thank you Nick,
For your tapping on Compassion. Compassion is such a missing element in our lives. I’m a singer/songwriter and, I’ve written a song on Compassion called ‘The Answer’, its on my CD ‘A Place In Time’ by ABE (Abe was my father’s name) which can be found on most internet music sites.
When you have a moment I’d really appreciate it if you could give a listen to my song ‘The Answer’ and, let me know your thoughts. Again, thank you.
Sincerely,
Arthur Collis
great just what I needed right now, it feels good to forgive myself and others
thanks for this
Amazing! I found this about compassion this morning. Last night I prayed to have it for me and others. Thank You.
Thank you! Your comments and suggestions are always helpful. EFT has indeed made a huge difference in my life. Always available and always helpful!
Wow. Compassion is an enormous issue for all of us, isn’t it? I found this so helpful today. I didn’t realize that most of the negative thoughts that ruminate in my head are critical judgements about myself (and others.) Thank you so much for helping me wash over them with a generous dose of compassion! Beautiful. I’ve printed them out for a daily cleanse – to be used right after I brush my teeth….will let you know how it works! Thanks so much for sharing that with us! xoxox
Wow Nick, This is a very beautiful & much needed script. I myself have total compassion for others but as you mentioned sometimes I am hardest on myself. Not in a negative way just I expect alot from myself. I am going to use this script. I have studied EFT for many years now & havetaugh it to & helped many with it.
This article touched me deeply. I am in the process of quitting smoking and tapping has helped me a lot. I have a wonderful therapist who taught me the tapping method and we use it all the time. The one phrase I like best is “I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself. That statement has opened my heart to myself … to profoundly love me! I do appreciate the e-mails that you send out. Keep up your wonderful work!
Thank you Nick. This was my most healing tapping session yet. You guys are awesome. I am working on clearing all the negatives and past hurts out of my body with Love or Above and the tapping seems to help me do that better, or at least it feels better. There is so much but I know that on the other side of it, I will be who I know I really am! Again, thank you for this wonderful site. Paula
Thanks for posting that! Tapping on your phrases on judgment/compassion was a moving experience. It released some emotional blockage, and now I feel more calm, centered, and energetic. Very much appreciated.
EFT has been in my life for several years, yet I do not always take advantage of it. I have been through years of therapy for sexual abuse, physical abuse and trauma do to events in childhood. A professor in college shared EFT with me and continues to invite me to use it at times. I opened this link this morning when it was in my email and I started crying as I did the tapping, knowing I am extremely critical of myself and have been challenged by my integrative massage therapist and therapist to find more compassion for myself through this healing journey. Thank you Nick for sharing. Thank you to the world of people who choose to heal and have compassion so our interactions can be more whole and meaningful.
Wow. the longer I sit with this, having completed the tapping, the more I feel the energy changing. I love the way the Universe works – this is an issue I’ve recently been aware of while clearing other things. Thanks!
Hi Nick,
I was a big believer in tapping. For years I’ve practiced on almost everything and have had mixed results. Sometimes it seems to help and other times it doesn’t do much. I’ve sought help of professionals like Brad Yates, Alina Frank and some other and spent a lot of money. SOmetimes I felt calmer after the tapping but the results have not been permanent. The issues keep coming back and I haven’t been able to get rid of my emotional luggage. Sometimes I feel like I keep adding to it. I was a loyal tapper. At one point I wanted to become an EFT practitioner. I REALLY WISH IT WORKED AS IT CLAIMS, i.e. perma nent!!!!!
And as I’m typing my frustration out, I do want to show my gratitude for whatever it has done to me. There have been few times that tapping has helped me. It’s just that I feel like I haven’t moved much from where I was…………again I’ll try your script right now and hope that it will work…………
Thank you, Nick, for this tapping sequence. It comes at a very opportune time for me as I am reflecting on how best to approach a very difficult situation. I now feel more confident that I can ground myself in compassion as I deal with this, no matter what the outcome. I intend to use the sequence a few more times to prepare the ground for the most compassionate response possible for me at this time. Thank you for the wonderful work you do and are willing to share with so many.