Inspiration

Change Doesn’t Happen in a Bubble

Written by: Nick Ortner

Person in Bubble

Change doesn’t happen in a bubble.

What does that mean?

When you’re looking to improve your life in some way, as much as you’d like to think it’s all about you, it really isn’t.

It would be easier if it were. But change doesn’t happen in a bubble.

When you transform, or even when you try to, you affect the people around you, and their perspective and attitudes towards you can shift. When you show up looking different in the world, when you take better care of yourself, or try to be more positive, or do something to “improve” yourself, you affect others.

Transformation is Hard

Certainly, you can affect them in a positive way, and be a role model. However, if they’re not as loving and supportive as you’d like or want, the process is challenging.

So when you lose 20 pounds because you started eating better and exercising, your old friends might be jealous, or you might simply not be able to connect with them in the same way as before.

When you make a decision to stop gossiping or being negative, it might be hard for your fellow gossipers to handle.

And the real challenge here is that when your natural human tendency to “connect” and be accepted tries to kick in, it can be easy to go back and act the same way as before, just to fit in again!

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Misery loves company,” and that applies here. Friends and family might struggle to understand and accept the “new you”.

Tapping to a Solution

So what to do?  Certainly, there are strategies to change your environment, find better support, etc., but today I want to address how to work on the emotional element of this challenge.

So let’s do some tapping on it.  🙂

We’re going to do some very general “global” tapping, meaning I’ll share phrasing and language that isn’t specific but instead can apply to a variety of situations.

As you zone in on your particular situation, go ahead and change the language and be as specific as possible.

(if you’re unfamiliar with the tapping process, you can learn it here: www.thetappingsolution.com/how-to-tap.php )

Starting on the karate chop point:

Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to change because I want to fit in, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Karate Chop: Even though I can’t seem to make these changes stick, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Karate Chop: Even though change doesn’t feel safe, because of how it will affect others, I deeply and completely accept myself…

Eyebrow: It’s hard to change…
Side of Eye: I need to fit in…
Under Eye: What will they think of me if I change..
Under Nose: Every time I change something, I don’t get any support..
Under Mouth: This fear of change…
Collarbone: This fear of being different..
Under Arm: This fear of not fitting in…
Top of Head:  I need to fit in…

Back to the eyebrow…

Eyebrow: If I change they won’t like me…
Side of Eye: If I change they won’t support me…
Under Eye: This old fear of change in my body…
Under Nose: All the times I tried to change…
Under Mouth: And it didn’t happen…
Collarbone: All this fear of being judged…
Under Arm: What if they judge me…?
Top of Head:  How can I really change…?

Back to the eyebrow for positive phrases

(only go to the positive when you’ve moved the negative emotion down to a place where the positive phrases feel good)

Eyebrow: It’s safe to change…
Side of Eye: It’s safe to do what I want to do…
Under Eye: Releasing all this fear from my body…
Under Nose: Letting it go…
Under Mouth: Letting go of all the times when I tried to change and I wasn’t supported…
Collarbone: Letting them all go now…
Under Arm: It’s safe to change…
Top of Head:  It’s safe for me to change…

Keep tapping, again, focusing on specifics as much as possible.  Ask yourself:

What happened last time I tried to change?

How did the people around me feel about it?

Does it feel safe to change?

What’s stopping me from making the changes I want to make?

Use your answers to tap through the blocks to change.

Change doesn’t happen in a bubble…

It can’t, and that’s OK.  We just need to acknowledge that and be aware of it.

Once we are, and when we do the tapping to clear the emotional blocks to change, to clear the fear, the doubt, and all the other negative emotions around changing and others’ perception of us, then, change can really STICK.  🙂

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner



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127 Comments on this post

  1. Kathy Siuda says:

    It is nice to have specific words to help us learn. Thank you..

  2. Yara says:

    Thanks a lot Nick for sharing this. I am a fan of tapping. It always works. I am so happy I found you and tapping.

  3. Russ says:

    Eye-opening; AHA; Nick, I have to tell you, the insights you bring to personal development are truly astute and astounding. You are making a huge difference in this man’s life. Thank you!
    All the best from Toronto,
    Russ

  4. ernestine byerly says:

    I like your tapping subjects. Could you do one on weight lose. i need that but don’t know exactly what to say. Need help.

  5. Vanessa says:

    Thanks I’ve needed that tapping.
    I’ve been in change mode for almost the entire year.
    All the changes for a more positive life (wanting to move a head and get a better job)
    Been in same company for 12years and it has definitely run its course. My next chapter needs to be located. 🙂 I am with GREAT hope that this tapping you just provided can help me find my change before all of my positive juices are drained. Thank u thank u!

  6. Anne Ruttan says:

    Nick – I enjoy all your e-mails and helpful advice. In order to encourage and help people who are stressed and fearful, You give of your knowledge and insight unstintingly and it is very much appreciated by me. All your e-mails are saved in a folder. The step-by-step instructions are a really good guide on how to proceed through the tapping sequence to improve ones life. Thank you very much….Anne

  7. Abby says:

    Hi Nick, thanks for sharing and teaching us new techniques to improve our life.
    Abby

  8. francine says:

    This last email on change is really great. I allowed my self to shape it for my specific need. I am not so concerned with others perception about my changing as the internal fear of not being safe,being more alone, having to do more things alone, accepting my own authority and autonomy. Wow so much attachment is evident here.
    What I am trying to change is my discomfort about driving. Thanks for all of your work. Now I will get to work.

  9. Dawn Anne says:

    Thank you, Nick, for your timely message. It is so true that change in me affects others; my observation is that it threatens them. I’m so grateful that the session was right there in the email; the dialogue and questions provided eliminated any confusion as to how to actually do the session!

  10. Marguerite Caron says:

    Thank you for the tapping scripts you are sending.
    I am very grateful.
    I had stopped tapping – not feeling up to it!
    Comment by Marguerite

  11. Faisal says:

    Thank you
    I Just have read your STRONG, POWERFUL & USEFUL TIPS & COMMANDMENTS
    I WILL try My Best to Follow These Stips to make the CHANGE HAPPEN,
    Thank you again, with Best Regards And Compliments
    Faithfuly Yours
    Faisal

  12. Merry says:

    Hi Nick, Thanks so much for keeping me on your list. It’s still hard for me to think of my own tapping words, and yours help. The audio parts certainly help more because I can’t read the script without glasses, and I find myself tapping my glasses frequently! :))
    Everything helps, & I’m glad to feel that I’m still part of your group. Thanks.
    Merry

  13. Julie says:

    Thankyou so much ,Nick ,for today’s post ! What a reief it was to realise that I am not the only one struggling with other people’s hostile reactions to my attempts at change ! Now armed with a new tapping protocol, I feel better eqipped to handle whatever comes next !,

  14. Ann says:

    Hi Nick, Thank you for this tapping round. It would be nice if the tappingscript were to be put in a PDF-downloadable-form as well. Easy for a quick print and hang it up and do it a few
    times a day. Thank you. Ann

  15. Fran Friel says:

    Excellent change script, Nick! Thank you so much.

    Your continued generosity and your honest style of teaching and communicating has had a profound effect on my own thinking and my heart–a deep change has occurred for me. I will forever be grateful for your kindness.

    -Fran

  16. Jan Loomis says:

    change is always challenging, isn’t it? Thanks for this lovely tap. You are a fountain of wisdom.

  17. Sonja Isenhart says:

    Where are my manners?…..Thank you Nick and the Tapping Solution and I am very grateful!!!

  18. Sonja Isenhart says:

    OMG!!!! I so needed this today!!! One of my friendships is struggling due to some of the changes I am working to make. And I tapped on it to get some answers and here is this email in my inbox!!!! Just wonderful!!!! I love this!!! 🙂

  19. Linda says:

    I appreciate these messages popping up now and then wiht a tap along, as they often hit “a nerve” that I didn`t know I had. What I mean by that, is it brings up emotions that I consciously didn`t know I had an issue with. Thanks.
    And if you are Jessica`s ONLY brother congratulations on the up coming nuptials.!

  20. soraya says:

    Thank you for this fantastic tapping!

    I just done it and my fear of change is gone!!!!

    Thank you again!

  21. Louise says:

    Right on. Wonderful tapping. I will send the information to my friends and family.

  22. Ron Knight says:

    Nick, I think your emails will continue to help people who receive them. I wonder if you realize the impact you are having on people’s lives. Your unselfish, ongoing efforts set a splendid example for the rest of us to give of ourselves to our circle of influence…people everywhere just need a healing ‘tap’.

    Thank you!

  23. Teri Azar says:

    Perfect timing today..exactly what I needed! It is amazing. Thank you. Teri

  24. Chris says:

    Thank you Nick. The phrasing is helpful. I just lost 20 pounds after making a few small changes to my diet and exercise. I was a fat gluten free vegan. I gave up French fries, and sodas, plus added a few extra miles to my walks. I also stopped using free oils like olive oil. There is a myth that they are healthy, but they are really just liquid fat. Try giving it up for a month and you will see.
    I was happy to see the explanation about how people react when you get healthy or lose weight. I have been surprised by how much negativity and lack of support have surfaced in others. It was not a result that was anticipated. In the process of achieving my health goals many emotional challenges have emerged like suddenly feeling alone. Being healthy is good, but in a world of unhealthy people, it does make it alienating. There are lots of reasons to be healthy, but people who are still unhealthy might act happy while really being resentful or jealous.
    For anyone out there who has felt the same loneliness and isolation from being brave enough to change, you are not alone. A new breed of counselors and coaches exists to discuss the challenges that come with getting healthy. I have just completed a 12 month holistic health coach training program. I studied techniques to support people to make the transition to better health. Aside from the food we eat, there are lots of things that feed us. Personal relationships are hugely important to good health.
    It feels great to be healthy, but a bit scary and lonely to be so isolated from those around me. It would be both exciting and frightening for me to work together with other people who have transitioned to better health and increased happiness. In honor of my recent accomplishments, combined with the emotional freedom tapping allows.

  25. Penny Haakinson says:

    Thanks Nick,
    Just when I needed a kick start, this e-mail came through. It reminded me to get back to tapping and used a subject I needed to hear. I appreciate the contact and support.
    Penny

  26. rocio says:

    I love it your mail… sometimes I feel that I don’t believed it any more that changes can happen, and when I received this mails I remember that I have to tried hard!
    Thank you so much

  27. Maureen Joy says:

    Thank You, I loved this tapping session on change with the dialogue to guide us in this challenging area. As a trauma survivor, I have noticed that for me this is a constant barrier to tackle as change for the better brings up things for those around me who are not as eager to embrace and deal with. Seeing all the comments reminds me I Am Not Alone.
    maureenjoy.com/Healing Journey

  28. Cathie says:

    Thanks Nick its always great to get a reminder to do what I need to do….

  29. Maria says:

    Hi Nick

    I loved this tapping session on change and although partially shocked by the results I also loved doing it! It turns out fear of how others might react was not my biggest issue. Being safe was. I also realized how important assuring respect from others was; so much so that on some issues I forgot to respect my own needs and my own nature! That was a shocking but very liberating revelation : )

    So thank you for this window to awareness and change and for your inspiring tapping lessons : )

    have a brilliant day
    MariaK.

  30. Camille says:

    This e-mail was so exactly what I needed it’s downright eerie. I recently became aware of my fear of change which was confirmed when I took Carol Look’s quiz and I’ve been working on it ever since. As always I wonder if I’m saying the right things and even though your phrasing was global it resonated with me and let me know I’m on the right track with my own personal tapping. I really like that you put a tapping session right there in the e-mail. Thanks for this and all the work you do!

  31. Julie says:

    What EXACTLY is tapping please explain Thank you julie Ling

  32. Ruth Colby says:

    basically allowing oneself to change…..
    do I have to know what the subconscious fears are that keep me from change or can I release them without knowing exactly what they are? I imagine my subconscious knows…..

  33. Angela Worthington says:

    Thank you Nick. I have been using the tapping technique to help myself and others since 2006 and I am so grateful to be continually inspired by your work. Change can be a biggie for most of us and what I try to remind myself and others is that we cannot know how what we do will affect others. We can only trust that if change is in service of ourselves and our highest good then the impact upon others will be ultimately beneficial.
    Keep up the good work.
    Love and Light,
    Angela Worthington

  34. Mary says:

    I just started hearing about tapping, but really did not understand how it could change you. I was at the library and looked up tapping and they had your dvd. I watched then had my grown kids watch it and we all were very surprised about it. We all do the tapping each day, not together but when we feel the need. I have yet to get ahead of my money situation. I have been a single mom for 20 years and I always struggled. I am really hoping this will work and unclog any clog’s that I have. I also do the Chakra with Carol Tuttle. I started with meditation that lead me to Charkra’s to Carol Tuttle and now to tapping with you. Thank you for all you do to help people to learn and grow and become unstuck in their lives.

  35. Suzanne says:

    This has already happened to me. I am changing for the better…fast. And I am getting minimal support from family and friends. But it’s not stopping me. I am convinced that those I am supposed to reach will be reached. The rest aren’t ready.

  36. Dorothy says:

    Thanks Nick. This was one hundred percent on target for me today, and it really helped me to understand the discomfort that surrounds my “coming to awareness” life changes. Tapping is the way to release it and move forward with greater clarity!
    I have the sense that it’s really best to say little and respect their life choices too, … they will inevitably see the differences.

  37. Lois says:

    It was perfect timing for me to receive this by email! Thank you so much!

  38. Elaine says:

    This really hit home for me. I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve been “discouraged” by others’ behavior when I’ve made some positive changes. Some responses have been downright hostile and it has become easy to associate change with pain and suffering. Great tapping protocol. I will use this often. Thank you.

  39. Fern says:

    I did make changes to the way I eat. But now I feel ostracized by people who don’t understand why I won’t eat their food. I don’t go to church socials any more. I would have to interview the maker of each dish to find out what they used and how they prepared the food. My m-i-l gets upset when I won’t eat something she considers healthy – as though I am judging her food choices. I am just tired of feeling this way. Thanks for the script.

  40. Fran says:

    Thanks. I used this for a work situation and felt
    tremendous releasing of fear and resistance. And then
    came the joy and clarity that is my natural state
    of being.

  41. Laura says:

    Thank you for sending this directly into me inbox. I have so many areas of my life that I want to tap on and i don’t. With this coming directly to me I took the time to tap on it and felt better afterwards. Please continue to send me the words to use and the questions to think about it helped me so much to just stop and do it. Thank you for all that you do.

  42. Mari says:

    Today is my Birthday and I feel like this tapping session was sent just for me. I have been preparing for a new chapter in my live since the instant of my conception and am ready to see the change I was meant to experience. Thank you very much!

  43. Damaris says:

    Thank you so much: as always your tapping sessions come at the right moment. Yes, sometime is more about not wanting to change as we are scared about other people reaction than not changing because of us. So scaring but so simple… As I heard some days ago we have to learn to stand on our own. Kind regards.

  44. Rósa Alexandersdóttir says:

    Thank you! I really needed this tapping. I have tried again and again to change my behaviour and my thinking but always end in the same donwgrading thing again I hope it stops now and I can be who I want and have always wanted

  45. Pat says:

    Thanks Nick! That was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I was thinking about a change that I need to make in my business and wondering how to make it stick…… easy to do for a month but permanently? Not so much. I think this tapping will help me go forward with confidence!
    Thanks so much!

  46. Denise Trottier says:

    Thanks soo much,Nick, for all these tapping formulas, it’s so great to have the wording which is often the handicap for me…these make me confident that I’m doing it right…How about wording on weight loss now!!!God Bless..
    Denise Trottier.

  47. shabana firdaus says:

    Dear Nick thxs a lot tapping do wonders for me and ur this recent lesson help me a lot to deal the people who are not accepting my change thxs !

  48. julia says:

    So far Nick,I have joined in some of the tapping,and can see how effective it is.Thank you and jessica very much.,cheers,julia Your emails are very welcome and helpful,and when time is right for me I can do more

  49. Cyndee says:

    Thank you!!! So simple, yet so powerful . I am loving the tapping

  50. Anna Richards says:

    Thanks Nick. just what I needed right now. as usual. Love & light, Anna

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