How To Use EFT to Get Rid of Your Resentment

Nick Ortner - EFT Tapping Articles Written by Nick Ortner

I’m sure you’ve seen this quote from the Buddha floating around the Internet before; maybe it popped up on your Facebook feed or a friend emailed it to you:

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

It’s clear why these particular thoughts about resentment have become so popular: they contain a profound and inescapable truth.

Think about how stale and bitter you feel when you see or even think about certain people. That can’t be any good for you, can it? Unfortunately, many of us see these feelings as the least of our problems, and so they sit and fester while we work on other aspects of our health.

I’ll be blunt: I think that’s dangerous. That resentment is a more powerful poison that many of us realize. Let’s take a look at just why that is and figure out how to get rid of it with tapping.

Old Feelings Can Ruin New Relationships

Anything new is thrilling. Be it a new job, romance or friendship, there’s a joy in these discoveries that can be downright intoxicating. But what happens after they become routine, a new normal?

If you’re still lugging around emotional baggage from your past, then these exciting new experiences can quickly become bad old memories. Why? Because once the thrill wears off, our old resentment-fueled patterns kick right back into gear, running right over whatever we have in front of us. Tapping allows us to dig up those bad feelings so we can fully embrace the new ones.

Your Resentment Might Be Saying More About You Than About “Them”

In my experience using EFT with people all over the world, I’ve noticed one of the most common forms of resentment is a deep-seated jealousy that another person achieved something you wanted and don’t think they deserved. You’ve seen it and have maybe experienced it on both ends. It happens a million times a day the world over.

Here’s the thing: chances are you’re angrier at yourself than you are at the other person.

It’s hard to face up to, but you might really be enraged because you haven’t allowed yourself to be as entirely awe-inspiring as you subconsciously know yourself to be. The other person just becomes a scapegoat and target for those funky feelings.

The worst part? As long you’re holding onto that resentment, you’re blocking yourself from achieving those brilliant dream goals you have buried inside.

You Might Be Making Yourself Sick… Literally

That quote attributed to the Buddha doesn’t just contain metaphoric truth; in many instances, it’s quite literal. In my 10 years of experience tapping, I’ve seen firsthand how emotions can calcify in the body and give rise to sickness.

Imagine what happens when you’re walking around every day silently clinging to old grudges. Imagine that toxic energy taking physical form. It’ll eat you from the inside out!

In fact, here’s another quote that speaks directly to this, and definitely informs my outlook when it comes to EFT:

“My research has shown me that when emotions are expressed – which is to say that the biochemicals that are the subtrate of emotion are flowing freely – all systems are united and made whole. When emotions are repressed, denied, not allowed to be whatever they may be, our network pathways get blocked, stopping the flow of the vital feel-good, unifying chemicals that run both our biology and our behavior.”

– Dr. Candace B. Pert

A Good Place to Start

Why is tapping so good at resolving that poisonous resentment? I like to think of EFT as emotional surgery, going into your body’s dense matrix of emotions and energy to remove the offending element, in this case, your stagnant feelings.

What’s truly elegant about the technique is that the only thing you need is what’s bothering you – how does it feel? That’s what you start tapping on, and if you really allow yourself to embrace what you’re feeling – even and especially if it leads you to swearing and giving voice to your ugliest thoughts – you’re going to eventually uncover and remove that emotional hang-up that has you in its clutches.

As easy as that sounds, some people still have trouble getting started with tapping. As such, you might want to start with this routine I use when I find myself annoyed by someone. It works just as well if it’s a person from your past; the important thing is to acknowledge just how yucky they make you feel.

Once you start there, you can really excavate those buried feelings that have made you such a mess. You’ll be amazed how much lighter you’ll be within minutes. I hope you’re looking forward to feeling free again!

Nick Ortner Bio

Nick Ortner

Nicolas Ortner is CEO of The Tapping Solution, LLC, a company with a mission to bring simple, effective, natural healing into the mainstream through Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) or “tapping.” Tapping is a healing modality that combines ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology. Nick’s goal is to empower people to create healthy, financially abundant and […]


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19 Responses to “How To Use EFT to Get Rid of Your Resentment”

  1. frank mongan says:

    how many times day do you have to tap

  2. Liz says:

    Hit home again! Thanks Nick for your great post. Even though I usually am truly happy for others’ success there are times I do get jealous too and it is usually because I’m not able to be my best. So I try to embrace that jealousy knowing that it is tapping into a desire of my own that is perhaps unfulfilled. I LOVE Tapping. Great tool. Thank you.

  3. Chloe says:

    Im totally loving this artical! Wales, UK.

  4. dr. Leonor Nielsen says:

    Very inspiring and those that want or need these changes (most of us do), it is blesing.

  5. Diane Adams says:

    Nick, I have purchased your book but, I havn’t started reading it yet. I am the mother/caregiver for a 28 year old severely disabled son whose father passed on a year ago. I am a Reiki Master with a BA in Physical Science.

    I believe the Tapping technique can can be useful in my life situation. The reason I am replying to your essay on Tapping for resentment is because I read the whole article and got to the segment “A good place to start” where you stated you have a routine you use when you are annoyed by someone (hopefully you won’t need the routine for my question :=) and then the next box was a advertisement for your book which I clicked on and I tried to search and listen to your video for the routine specifically about resentment issues with other people. Please direst me to the routine you were describing.

    I am interested in becoming a certified EFT Tapping Practitioner. I feel that this technique would be usefull for persons with disabilities because very often they are unable to express their frustration with life and consequently exhibit unacceptable social behavior patterns.

    Diane Adams

    • Catrina says:

      Yes, I’m the same as Diane, was reading the article with interest,came to the part where Nick suggests to “try this routine” and then nothing but adverts for the book, and other info. unrelated to the subject etc! Has anyone else found the routine?

  6. Dianne says:

    Hi Nick,

    Good article! However there is a typo in Dr. Pert’s quote. It should read ‘substrate’ not ‘subtrate’. Undermines her credibility having a typo like that.


  7. Carlos Castro says:

    Gracias Nick recien estoy ahondando en esto, si Louise Hay lo dice es que es verdad.

  8. denise says:

    well i didn’t realize i might be resentful for many things need to figger out how to do this tapping technique thank you some thing inside finally listened i feel i need to wake up god bless thank you kind regards Denise

  9. Claudia Gale says:

    To Dianne… pickyune of you to admonish someone because of a simple typo. I myself saw it, but just overlooked it. What is the problem? Someone’s credibility as a professional has VERY little to do with a singular, ridiculous typo. Perhaps you need to look at why something so insignificant bothers you so much?

  10. Claudia Gale says:

    oh, and by the way….I find this very unique and worthwhile modum of dealing with a multiplicity of problems to be VERY enlightening…..THANK YOU Nick!

  11. Anne says:

    Hi Nick,
    Like Diane Adams, I’m also interested in your routine when you find yourself annoyed by someone. I’m still working through the Tapping World Summit 2012 and enjoying it.

  12. Suzanne says:

    As Diane Adams says….I cannot find the routine as the articles ends with no routine but an ad.
    Warm regards.

  13. Marilu says:

    There is no link to the tapping on resentment on this page..

  14. kim says:

    what would be some good tapping statements to use for this?


  15. Carol says:

    The download of tapping for stress is located on the home page of

  16. Fran says:

    Where can I find the ‘routine’. Am I missing something? I’d love to try it!

  17. Valerie Sealy says:

    Love your article Nick, would love to see an example of the tapping script you would use for resentment.

  18. Jean Notorgiacomo says:

    i was just introduced to tapping last week and have been useing it several times a day ever since. it really works; i love it. i am very interested in the routine for resentment and stress also.
    thanks, jean

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