How To Use EFT to Get Rid of Your Resentment
Written by Nick Ortner
I’m sure you’ve seen this quote from the Buddha floating around the Internet before; maybe it popped up on your Facebook feed or a friend emailed it to you:
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
It’s clear why these particular thoughts about resentment have become so popular: they contain a profound and inescapable truth.
Think about how stale and bitter you feel when you see or even think about certain people. That can’t be any good for you, can it? Unfortunately, many of us see these feelings as the least of our problems, and so they sit and fester while we work on other aspects of our health.
I’ll be blunt: I think that’s dangerous. That resentment is a more powerful poison that many of us realize. Let’s take a look at just why that is and figure out how to get rid of it with tapping.
Old Feelings Can Ruin New Relationships
Anything new is thrilling. Be it a new job, romance or friendship, there’s a joy in these discoveries that can be downright intoxicating. But what happens after they become routine, a new normal?
If you’re still lugging around emotional baggage from your past, then these exciting new experiences can quickly become bad old memories. Why? Because once the thrill wears off, our old resentment-fueled patterns kick right back into gear, running right over whatever we have in front of us. Tapping allows us to dig up those bad feelings so we can fully embrace the new ones.
Your Resentment Might Be Saying More About You Than About “Them”
In my experience using EFT with people all over the world, I’ve noticed one of the most common forms of resentment is a deep-seated jealousy that another person achieved something you wanted and don’t think they deserved. You’ve seen it and have maybe experienced it on both ends. It happens a million times a day the world over.
Here’s the thing: chances are you’re angrier at yourself than you are at the other person.
It’s hard to face up to, but you might really be enraged because you haven’t allowed yourself to be as entirely awe-inspiring as you subconsciously know yourself to be. The other person just becomes a scapegoat and target for those funky feelings.
The worst part? As long you’re holding onto that resentment, you’re blocking yourself from achieving those brilliant dream goals you have buried inside.
You Might Be Making Yourself Sick… Literally
That quote attributed to the Buddha doesn’t just contain metaphoric truth; in many instances, it’s quite literal. In my 10 years of experience tapping, I’ve seen firsthand how emotions can calcify in the body and give rise to sickness.
Imagine what happens when you’re walking around every day silently clinging to old grudges. Imagine that toxic energy taking physical form. It’ll eat you from the inside out!
In fact, here’s another quote that speaks directly to this, and definitely informs my outlook when it comes to EFT:
“My research has shown me that when emotions are expressed – which is to say that the biochemicals that are the subtrate of emotion are flowing freely – all systems are united and made whole. When emotions are repressed, denied, not allowed to be whatever they may be, our network pathways get blocked, stopping the flow of the vital feel-good, unifying chemicals that run both our biology and our behavior.”
– Dr. Candace B. Pert
A Good Place to Start
Why is tapping so good at resolving that poisonous resentment? I like to think of EFT as emotional surgery, going into your body’s dense matrix of emotions and energy to remove the offending element, in this case, your stagnant feelings.
What’s truly elegant about the technique is that the only thing you need is what’s bothering you – how does it feel? That’s what you start tapping on, and if you really allow yourself to embrace what you’re feeling – even and especially if it leads you to swearing and giving voice to your ugliest thoughts – you’re going to eventually uncover and remove that emotional hang-up that has you in its clutches.
As easy as that sounds, some people still have trouble getting started with tapping. As such, you might want to start with this routine I use when I find myself annoyed by someone. It works just as well if it’s a person from your past; the important thing is to acknowledge just how yucky they make you feel.
Once you start there, you can really excavate those buried feelings that have made you such a mess. You’ll be amazed how much lighter you’ll be within minutes. I hope you’re looking forward to feeling free again!