How to Stay Positive When Surrounded by Negativity
Written by Cari Rauch
For most of us, being surrounded by negativity can be one of the most challenging things in our lives, especially when we’re trying to be positive. We want to stay focused on what feels good, but it can seem difficult when the people around us are complaining and talking about what’s wrong with life.
So here are some things that you can do when you find yourself surrounded by negativity:
- Remember You Always Have a Choice. Everything is always a choice. We choose what we listen to and watch, we choose what we do & where we go (such as work), and we choose who we spend time with. There isn’t anything that we “have to do”. However, we sometimes think we don’t have a choice because we don’t like the outcome. For example, we think we have to go to work because we need the money so it’s not a choice, but we could choose not to go and not to get paid, but we don’t like what might happen if we did that, so we tend to not see it as a choice.
- Step into Your Power. We can’t control what others say or do, but we can control ourselves with our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. So stepping into our power means admitting we are choosing to be where we are. It starts with claiming, “I’m choosing to be here because…” and stating your answer. It may be because we want the money (choosing to be in a job) or we love our family/partner and want a relationship with them (choosing to be around negative family members or partner). Whatever it is, own that you’ve chosen it and you will instantly start feeling better because you took control of your life. Once you own it, then you have the power to change it.
- Set Yourself up for Success. If you know you are choosing to go somewhere where you will be surrounded by negativity, then decide before you go who you want to be and how you want to feel. So for example, before going to work you can declare that – “I am the creator of my reality and I focus on what feels good to me. I choose to feel at peace no matter what others are saying or doing.”
- Know Your Triggers. Be aware of topics or things that seem to pull you into negativity and decide not to discuss these topics or things unless you can say something that feels good. So for example, staying out of heated debates, or not complaining about what’s happening or about someone else. If you can’t say something or add something that makes you feel good, then refrain from it.
- Create & Use a Power Phrase as a Reminder. Having a phrase that you can say in your mind to remind yourself when you become aware of the negativity around you will help you to stop focusing on it. Here are a few phrases (you can tap on any point while you state these to yourself):
- “Wow, I’m so blessed to live in my world where….” (fill in with what you want to or already believe about what’s happening or being discussed). We create our realities by our beliefs, so for example, if others are complaining about their bodies & diets – this phrase can be used by saying, “Wow, I’m so blessed to live in a world where my body knows how to be healthy on its own and I get to eat whatever I truly love and enjoy.”
- “It’s just their opinion or It’s just a point of view – they are allowed to believe whatever they want, however, I choose to focus on what feels good to me.”
- Envision & Create Something Better. This can be a challenging one, but it’s a great way to stay positive. Send the person or situation some love. This can be done by focusing on something you love or appreciate about them (it can simply be that you love their outfit or appreciate their style).
- Be Aware & Release It. When you are no longer surrounded or if you have chosen to move away from the negativity, notice how you are feeling. Be the watcher of your thoughts, and if you want to complain or are upset by how negative they were, then you’ve let it affect you. This is where tapping becomes helpful to release and let it go. Here’s a quick tapping sequence:
KC: Even though I got pulled into the negativity, I love and accept myself & how I feel. Say this 3 times.
EB: I’m willing to let this go
SE: I can allow them to be who they are
UE: I choose to release this energy
UN: I always have a choice
C: It’s my reality so I’m going to choose to focus on what feels good
CB: I choose to feel good
UA: I choose to enjoy my day.
TH: I keep my power and choose to feel good.
It takes practice to stay focused on what feels good, but the more you do it the less likely you will be to be surrounded by negativity, and you will find that it really won’t matter because you know you have the power to feel good no matter what.