How to Save Your Relationship With EFT
Written by Nick Ortner
There are few things more depressing than relationship troubles.
In fact, depression is just the least of it. Heartbreak is one of the deepest pains we can know in this lifetime, and it’s even worse when we’re in a failing relationship where that heartbreak comes and goes.
You just don’t know what to do or where it will end.
We all bring baggage to our love life, whether that’s from parents who had relationship trouble of their own, or past relationships we couldn’t fix. The tentacles of those issues can work their way into our current relationships and trip us up, especially when our partner is dealing with similar issues of their own.
One of the primary places these problems manifest is in our arguments; you know, the ones that never seem to end and pop up when you least expect?
They can feel horrible. They may even feel like they suck the life out of you.
You may feel like all hope is lost, but if there’s one thing I know that can help you save your relationship, it’s tapping. Here’s how…
Ending the Arguments by Tapping on Relationship Troubles
The feeling that seems to pop up most when people are trying to save a relationship is frustration. It’s an angry, resentful feeling that comes to life when you feel you’re all out of options and your relationship troubles are too much to bear.
You may think that life would be so much easier if those specific problems you and your partner have, those prickly and unique relationship troubles, were to walk out and disappear; then you wouldn’t be angry; then you wouldn’t be frustrated.
It might actually be the opposite, and here’s how you address that.
If you’re not familiar with tapping, check out this quick How to Tap video to get you started. Once you’ve done that, tune into your frustration about your relationship troubles. How do they make you feel? Confused? Physically ill? Rate how bad it all feels on a scale from 1 to 10 and then begin tapping on your karate chop point.
- Even though I feel as if all hope is lost for our relationship, I deeply love and accept myself
- Even though I feel as if there’s no solution to our relationship problems, I deeply love and accept myself
- Even though I am so angry and frustrated with [name your partner] I deeply love and accept myself
Then, move through the tapping points.
Eyebrow: This relationship is so stressful
Side of Eye: I don’t know what to do
Under Eye: I feel like I have nothing left in me
Under Nose: It never ends!
Chin Point: I love [name your partner] so much
Collar Bone: But I can’t seem to find an answer to our problems
Under Arm: I’m so frustrated
Top of Head: I’m so angry!
Take a deep breath, and return to your eyebrow point.
Eyebrow: My heart is breaking
Side of Eye: I don’t know how to make this work
Under Eye: I resent [name your partner] so much
Under Nose: They just don’t understand!
Chin Point: I don’t know how to fix this
Collar Bone: It feels like it’s finally the end
Under Arm: I feel like I am losing [name your partner]
Top of Head: I just don’t know what to do
Check in and see if you’ve calmed down any. If you haven’t, continue with the tapping routine above, speaking about any other difficult feelings that come up and tapping through them.
Once those feelings have subsided, begin again at the eyebrow point.
Eyebrow: I know that we can find an answer
Side of Eye: I know we can finally figure this out
Under Eye: Who am I kidding? This is hopeless!
Under Nose: No it’s not, but I need to be patient
Chin Point: I allow myself the space to find the way
Collar Bone: I allow [name your partner] the space to find the way
Under Arm: Our love is bigger than our anger
Top of Head: Our love is stronger than our sadness
Eyebrow: Our love is deeper than our fear
Side of Eye: Our love is more important than whatever happened in the past
Under Eye: I choose to let love lead us to the answers
Under Nose: I don’t need to let anger or sadness lead the way when difficult things arise
Chin Point: If there’s one thing that I’m sure of
Collar Bone: It’s that we both want to find a solution
Under Arm: And we both care for each other deeply
Top of Head: Our love can lead us to the answer
How do you feel?
One of the biggest and most common problems we face when we reach a stalemate with our partner is that we tend to react to our disagreement with anger, sadness or fear.
When this happens, our immediate response is to try to fix what’s making us sad or angry so that we can find our way back to the love we share. That’s where the winding, endless arguments begin.
The thing is, when we do this we’re dealing with our problem the worst way possible!
The key is to let your love lead the way, to let your love address what’s making you angry or causing you to be afraid. It’s only with your love that you can find the answers that will bring your heart peace.
You have to let your love come first.
And that’s why EFT is such a powerful way to save your relationship. Tapping allows you to quell your difficult emotions so that your love can take the primary position front and center when the so-called “battle lines” are drawn.
By using tapping to clear out the bad stuff, love can lead the way and your relationship doesn’t have to be a war anymore.
When we do this, a magical thing happens: not only are our disagreements far less confrontational and aggravating than they used to be, they actually pull us even closer.
Tapping is an extraordinary tool when it comes to mending relationship troubles. It truly works miracles. You and your partner are so deserving of one, so don’t hesitate to use its magic on your love life today!