A Seed of Change
Written by Suzette Roth
Loss, Grief and learning to love with a Broken Heart! How could I find healing and balance with such deep pain? This was a continuous question inside of me. The death of my father completely knocked me out of life. The Stress I was living with was simply a symptom of what I was holding.
I started working with Tapping in the mid 90’s after the birth of my son and the loss of my father and my sister. I also had gone through a divorce, which was something I initiated, as a result of an emotionally abusive relationship. I was working with a therapist in Boston, who introduced me to Callahan Tapping. At the time there was so much going on in my life, I really hadn’t realized the full understanding and long lasting results I was getting from this work. From 1991 through 2001, I lost a family member every year, for ten years. Things seemed so foggy through that time. It wasn’t until I actually began to use EFT/Tapping on a regular basis that I realized I had been living frozen in deep grief for many years. I felt angry, always mad at someone, I felt really afraid most of the time. I was paralyzed with fear, but didn’t really let people see it. As I continued to unveil, as I call it, all of my grief, piece-by-piece, every loss that I had ever gone through, was buried, (literally no pun intended.) I also began to realize that loss wasn’t just death or divorce. Loss was everything I walked away from or anyone that walked away from me. I worked independently as well as with coaches and practitioners. After experiencing my own breakthroughs and seeing the results I was getting, I began helping others through their losses transitions and heartbreak. Pursuing my training and certifications in EFT/Tapping, was a must. I had worked many years as a massage therapist/bodyworker, so I was aware of how we “stored” grief. , and how it is held in the body. The “broken heart” and a variety of weaknesses and illnesses that we have are how we hold grief and pain. Are these symptoms of grief? I believe so. I had migraines for years. They started in February of 1991. It wasn’t until years later when I was working with The Tapping World Summit 2013, that I made the connection with my own body. February 1991 was when my father died. Amazing!
So, grief is what we call it, right? It’s relatable. It’s what is acceptable to society. Grief is a term that is taken lightly. Unless of course someone dies, then, of course people understand that. We go through the stages of grief as we know them; denial, anger, pain, and finally acceptance. I didn’t understand this when I was going through it. This was how the “system” presented the stages. I felt so raw and numb. Mine seemed so different than anyone else.
According to Webster’s dictionary the definition of grief is “DEEP SADNESS” caused by, especially and most commonly by someone’s death. But is death the only loss we experience? My experience is, no, it is not. Although death can be the most difficult and seemingly the most permanent, there are so many other losses that we experience throughout a lifetime. What loss do we carry? Change, in a way is loss. We transition through change all the time. No one really prepares us for that. It’s presented as, “that’s life, grow up, move on.” We all move on in our own ways, in our time.
As I worked with my clients as an EFT Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist and a Holistic Health Coach, I saw more and more, how many people were still walking around with a broken heart from ten, twenty, thirty and forty years ago. Afterwards they would say “I thought I was over that.” The journey of loss is a long one. But, with Tapping, it moves it so quickly. What I have realized with my own personal grief and with working with clients is, it’s the loss of the love that we had. It’s as if we stop feeling love and we can’t quite see that so we begin to develop patterns and beliefs about relationships, love, money, health, etc. because we can’t feel anymore. Life stops working. We don’t feel joy or happiness. We freeze in time. Every loss we experience seems to connect to the others. It comes and goes in waves.
There is no right way to grieve. No one really knows what you’re going through, do they? It is a process over time. And I, personally, don’t think you ever get over the loss of a loved one. I do believe, however, you can get through it. EFT/Tapping has been the most powerful tool in this process. It has been a transformation for me. I feel that grief and mourning is a process of transformation. We never really come out of it as the same person. That has also been the experience of many of my clients.
My coaching to all of my clients is, be gentle with yourself! Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with someone else. Love you, no matter what. Love is never lost, love lives forever.
You have to go through it to get to the other side. So join us in this journey of healing, Tapping is a gift, it’s a gift for you, so use it and know you will love again! You never stop loving, and actually many clients have come through this process with Tapping, not ever seeing how they would get through the loss. Tapping creates the opening and the bridge for healing.
For those of you that are new to EFT/Tapping, you begin with the set up phrase, on the side of the hand.
KC: Even though my heart is broken and is full of pain, I miss you and I don’t know how to do this, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Say this three times.
EB: This broken heart.
SE: This sadness that fills my heart.
UE: This broken heart. I choose to release this pain.
UN: This broken heart, letting it go.
CH: I can’t let this go.
CB: I choose to let go and heal
UA: I choose to forgive you (me) for leaving.
TH: I choose to heal in body, mind and spirit.
The language is appropriate to your own grief. Take time to center and quiet yourself, go inside, listen to your body and your inner wisdom. You know the right words, because you know the feelings you’re experiencing. You deserve a lifetime of love, happiness and abundance, healing with EFT makes it all possible. Working with a coach or a practitioner makes it safer through challenging, painful times.
One of my favorite quotes is: “NO MATTER HOW HARD THE PAST, YOU CAN ALWAYS BEGIN AGAIN” ~BUDDHA~
Contact me so that I can share this journey with you. It would be my privilege. ~With Love & Gratitude~ Suzette Roth