by Nick Ortner.
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There’s one thing I’ve learned to have for myself and for others in the past ten years of studying, using and teaching EFT. This ONE thing could make all the difference in how you approach the world and your experience in it. In a lot of ways, this thing is the one of the foundational elements of tapping, as we see in the setup statement, “Even though I (fill in the blank with your problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.
What’s implied in this statement? What one thing must you have for yourself and others?
Think about the setup statement. Within it, you’re acknowledging what your issue is, speaking the truth about it, how you feel, what you believe, and so forth, while at the same time, you’re accepting yourself, loving yourself, forgiving yourself “even though” you have that issue. I’ve seen people have incredible breakthroughs just from the setup statement, just from that acknowledgment of where they are and that self-compassion.
Beyond the setup statement bringing forth compassion for yourself, you can also do specific tapping to further that compassion. I’ll share some ideas on what you can do below.
But first, let’s take a look at having compassion for others.
Compassion for Others
Working one-on-one with clients and hearing their stories has opened my eyes tremendously to the reality of what people around me face on a daily basis, and what they’ve experienced in their lives. You can imagine that when I work with people, and they feel safe, they tend to share with me their most painful experiences and emotions.
The stories I’ve heard, the pain people have experienced, have opened my heart in amazing ways. Now, when someone is rude, or short, or angry, or acts in a way that isn’t positive, my response (as often as I remember!) is not to judge them but rather wonder, “What might have happened to this person that they’re acting out in this way?” “What pain might they have experienced?” and, “How can I show them love and compassion?”
Trust me when I tell you that when someone acts in a way that disappoints you or upsets you, it’s rarely about you. There’s just acting the way they know to act. They’re copying their parents’ actions, society’s dictates and responding emotionally based on their formative childhood experiences. If you react, if you judge, if you get angry, all you’re doing is perpetuating the patterns, and continuing the problem. If instead, you show love, compassion, and an open-hearted response, you have the opportunity and the ability to heal the situation.
Let’s do some tapping for both!
Compassion for Self:
This is a very GLOBAL issue, and we always want to try to get to the SPECIFIC. So start with this global tapping, and then as specific issues come up, focus on those. So for example, if you do this tapping, and then a specific event comes to mind that you’re judging yourself about, tap on that event specifically.
(And remember…if you don’t know how to tap yet, just watch the short “how to tap” video with my sister Jessica by clicking here).
Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to judge myself, I deeply and completely accept myself…
Karate Chop: Even though I’m sometimes hard on myself, I choose to love myself now…
Karate Chop: Even though it’s hard to find compassion for myself, I choose to find compassion now…
Eyebrow: All this judgment…
Side of the Eye: I’m always judging myself…
Under the Eye: Why am I so hard on myself…?
Under the Nose: Where did I learn to have so much judgment…?
Under the Mouth: Why am I always judging myself…?
Collarbone: All this judgment…
Under the Arm: I’m so hard on myself…
Top of the Head: Always beating myself up…
Keep tapping through the points, again and again, until you find relief and you feel like you can say the positive statement.
Eyebrow: I choose to forgive myself now…
Side of the Eye: I choose to have compassion for myself…
Under the Eye: I forgive myself…
Under the Nose: I’m doing the best I can…
Under the Mouth: With the resources I have…
Collarbone: Forgiving myself…
Under the Arm: Letting it go…
Top of the Head: Letting all this judgment go…
Keep tapping on the positive rounds, again and again, until you feel that it’s really sunk in. (and you can obviously do this at any time!)
Compassion for Others
As with the previous tapping, this is also very GLOBAL tapping, so start with this and then if SPECIFIC events come up, tap on those. So for example, you might start with this general tapping and then think of someone that you are specifically judging for something they did or are doing. Tap on that specifically!
Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to judge others, I deeply and completely accept myself…
Karate Chop: Even though I keep judging what others do, I deeply and completely accept myself…
Karate Chop: Even though I’m used to judging others, I choose to change this pattern now…
Eyebrow: All this judgment…
Side of the Eye: I keep judging others…
Under the Eye: I’m always judging the people around me…
Under the Nose: I can’t stop judging them…
Under the Mouth: I’ve always judged them…
Collarbone: All this judgment for others…
Under the Arm: This judgment…
Top of the Head: This pattern of judging others…
Keep tapping on the above rounds until you’re ready to move on to the positive rounds.
Eyebrow: I choose to forgive…
Side of the Eye: I choose to let go…
Under the Eye: I choose to release this judgment…
Under the Nose: Releasing this pattern of judgment…
Under the Mouth: Letting it all go…
Collarbone: It’s time to stop judging…
Under the Arm: It’s time to forgive…
Top of the Head: It’s time to forgive myself and others…
What was your experience with this tapping? Do you have compassion for yourself? Do you have compassion for others? 
Comment below!
Nick Ortner
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This is Nick Ortner, creator and producer of “The Tapping Solution” (formerly known as Try It On Everything). Thanks for all your wonderful emails saying you missed us in September.